How to support my Parnter who is a Prostate Cancer Survivor

[PaulineM]

Hello. I’m new  to this this page. My loving partner was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years ago. Luckily with his determination and the medical teams he survived, even though he was told he wouldn’t see xmas 2017. For this I am truly thankful & grateful. It is now 18mths post cancer and my partner seems to be in great health & moving forward.

However, I feel I don’t know enough about his cancer, post cancer and how to be the best supportive partner. My partner has explained what he has been through, this has been tough on him as I don’t fully understand lots of the terminologies. To his credit he continues  & has helped myself obtain some literature from his Cancer Unit & the Cancer Council booklets. I notice that when he tries to explain his cancer to me that it is quite emotional for him, I wish to move forward with him whilst looking forward to many years of cancer free happiness & enjoying life.

I want to be the best supportive spouse I can be, and I’d like to speak to other supporting spouses so I can better understand from a spouse’s side of assisting my partner in his remission so I can support him 110%

[Katekat]

Morning @PaulineM and welcome!

I'm just bumping this up for you - I'm Kate, the person at Cancer Council who manages this site 

Anyone affected by cancer, will tell you it can be an emotional rollercoaster. There are definitely others here who have had their partner's go through a cancer experience. @iloveyoudearly7 might be able to give you a little bit of perspective?

As a starting point, I am going to suggest you take a look at our podcasts. They are hosted by the amazing Julie McCrossin, who went through her own cancer experience a few years back (3rd season currently being recorded).

All are great to have a listen to, but the ones I am immediately thinking of for you are:

• Cancer affects the carer too
• How to help someone with cancer (great for survivorship too)

We also have survivorship webinars, many are which are from a male perspective too so both yourself and your partner would find these useful. You may like to look at: Men's psycho-social needs - "What support do men need after cancer?" and Caring for the Carer - "How do we care for the carer?"

-Kate

Online Community Manager

[iloveyoudearly7]

Hello!

It's excellent news to hear that your partner is in great health and is moving forward.

There are many different types of overall cancer and many different treatments available. So don't worry about quickly understanding all the information so briskly, they are not all simple to process. You'll gain understanding with time, plus with the given informative brochures and booklets, it will help assist. Don't forget you can always ask the treating doctor any questions you may have as well. They are a great general source of information.

It's normal for the topic to be somewhat difficult to speak about but it is good to approach the topic and it helps. You sound like a very supportive and emotional intelligence person. Your husband is already in great hands.

- (Your already doing this but others in the future might find it useful). Be there for your partner and let them know, they can discuss the topic or feelings at any time with you; when they feel ready. Simply be available.

- But avoid being over supportive or helpful as this may leave the person angry about being treated differently or as if their helpless. Find that middle ground. - Don't let cancer be the ruling factor in your life. Talk about other topics, create new memories/try new things, drive into a classic novel or start a new hobby.

- Sometimes keeping an general routine and being organized, assists with normalization of life.

- Remember to try and keep contact with loved ones and friends. It's easy to let things slipped sometimes.

Don't forget to look into the great provided websites and information too!

[PaulineM]

Thank you very much for your reply, It brings great comfort knowning I can find support and not feel alone.

[PaulineM]

This is appreciated

[kg]

Hi.  My husband too has prostrate cancer but advanced prostrate cancer and apart from doing the normal google searches I have got great help and information from an American support group HealthUnlocked.  Most men post but also some wives and partners.  What I have found is that they are positive about their condition and are very knowledgeable about all the medicines used to treat prostrate cancer and the various trials going on.  I know every person is different and this is acknowledged.  The other resource I've found invaluable is the Prostrate Cancer Foundation's (PCF) Guidelines from the States also.  You can download this.  It is amazing and deals with every stage of prostrate cancer.  Even though it's published in America, trials taking place in Australia are mentioned.  

Hope this helps.