My Dad has Cancer

New Contributor

My Dad has Cancer

Hi, My name is Jade and I am 20 years old. Last October doctors found a large tumour in my Dad's kidney and some small lesions in his lungs. Since then, we have been on a roller coaster of a ride. He had his kidney removed and we thought maybe things were going to be okay. They then started scanning him every 3 months to try to watch how his cancer was progressing. The first scan that they did found that the cancer appeared to be shrinking itself. The doctors didn't understand what was happening but the decision was made to wait another 3 months to decide whether to treat or not. 3 months later the news was not so good, the cancer had spread into his bones and a week later a tumour was found in his brain. Since that time he has had brain surgery to remove the tumour, radiation for his brain and his bones and is now on a drug therapy. Things are not good. My dad is really weak and in pain all the time. He is not able to really live his life as he is so tired and weak. It is so hard to watch this. We haven't been told what his prognosis is but I'm under the impression that it isn't good. I feel like at this stage I'm really not dealing with it properly. It's like I'm trying to pretend none of this is happening. I know that I can't keep doing this but I really don't know how to accept what is happening and be okay. It is hard for everyone and my Dad is the kind of person who just doesn't want to talk about it. I can't imagine how he is feeling or what he is thinking about. Does anyone have any strategies that they could give me to help to deal with this? I really need to be able to accept this and still be able to live life but at this stage it seems impossible. Thank you for reading my story. I hope to hear from someone soon.
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Super Contributor

Re: My Dad has Cancer

Jade when someone you love is diagnosed with Cancer it is a terrible moment in life,we all take the diagnosis differently, I can understand you not wanting to accept it. Perhaps you could talk to some one close or get some professional advice from your Doctor, they may be able to point you in the right direction or give you some advice on the way forward. When I was diagnosed my family and friends were a great help and support to me, and its ongoing today. Just keep showing your love and support to Dad and the rest of the family I hope you work out what is best for you and Dad. kj
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Not applicable

Re: My Dad has Cancer

Hi Jade, I'm sorry to read about your Dad. I feel very much like you. My lovely sister has been diagnosed with a nasty cancer and I just can't comprehend it taking her life. I have no advice at all! None...I'm just sorry that there are so many families putting heads on pillows tonight and facing their or their loved ones fate. It's just damn sad and awful 😞 Sorry xx
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Occasional Contributor

Re: My Dad has Cancer

Hi Jade, I lost my Dad to cancer 10 years ago and still finding it difficult to accept 😞 I know I'm not much help but I learned to live with it as I didn't have a choice!! I miss him every single day as if it was yesterday :'( Then three years ago I was diagnosed with cancer but removable so far. Since then I lost many relatives and dear friends to that dreadful disease...what I can tell you?? Hugs.love, strenght for you, prayers for your Dad and all of you!!!!!
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New Contributor

Re: My Dad has Cancer

It is a tough moment for you and your family. I lost a loved a year ago to Cancer. What I could share with you is that you have to be strong for your dad. He needs that assurance that there is support and strength from those around him. My prayers for you in this journey and may God give you strength.
Occasional Contributor

Re: My Dad has Cancer

Your dad sounds just like my husband dosnt want to talk much about his cancer either but it sound like you do need to talk and have information I would be getting some counselling to help you cope with your dads cancer, not knowing the prognoisis is hard also you may be able to organize an appointment with your dads dr and discuss it with him, i am going to do that with my husband dr as it is very hard to as the doctor in front of him what the prognosis is but i feel i want to know as i think it will make it easier to deal with it if i know. of course sometimes they just dont know and you just have to go along living from one appointment to the other, just be there for your dad and remember to make the most of your time together. The cancer council can organize counselling for you. All the best.
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Contributor

Re: My Dad has Cancer

Susie yes it is hard no knowing the prognosis i agree with u, but remember it is your dad that has it, not u he may not want u to know for his own reasons and by my own experience, once u know u cant un know! I asked for my prognosis and was told ( i was determined to know) but sometimes wish id never asked.... if u do ask remember they can only tell u statistics not individual cases until it happens of course' love and strength to u and ur dad, i wish u all the best xx
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Re: My Dad has Cancer

Hi Jade. My dad has stage 4 prostate cancer, I am 34 and not ready to lose him just yet. We found out less than 1 year ago when he had tests for something else and since then he has had chemo and radiotherapy, it was already metastatic at diagnosis (in his bones throughout his whole body). While we know the prognosis is not good, we don't know if the chemo has slowed this very aggressive cancer. Not knowing is horrible and the hardest thing of all. I have days where I can talk about it easily and also nights when I cry in bed thinking about it. While dad was having chemo I was able to let myself think it was the treatment that was making him look so terrible, but now 2 months down the track I have had to acknowledge that he is extremely sick. I can't offer much advice, I would like some myself. But if you want someone to talk to then feel free to contact me via PM. We can share our stories and maybe find some help in each others experiences. I hope you have family and friends you can speak to, I do but I don't always feel like it. Sometimes it is easier to speak openly with someone removed from the situation. T.
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New Contributor

Re: My Dad has Cancer

I found out my dad was diagnosed with stage 3b lung cancer when I was 17 . The did a lobectomy and what they found when they went inside they we’re already kinda late. It had spread to his lymph nodes . So they continued with chemo and radiation and re scanned and during that time was the worst I have ever seen my father it was terrible . Some people just don’t understand how it feels to see stuff like that . He couldn’t get up he’s scream all night in pain from his back . He’d throw up every where he couldn’t eat and was just skinny and frail. When they rescanned him after 3 months they found the chemo they put him on never worked and it spread to his liver and spine . So at that point they determined him terminal and all they could do was try to contain the cancer from spreading. I just turned 18 maybe 4 months ago now . It’s sad but whatever god has planned for him is for a reason . But on a happier note . I have rented him a corvette for a day cause he’s always wanted one every since I was little he wanted to travel the world with my mother in his own corvette but this was the closest I could get . But I say keep your head up high everything happens for a reason . And try to make the best of it try to spend time and make special memories happen . 

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