My mom was always my best friend. She was diagnosed with lung cancer stage 3b in March. It didn’t come as s shock because she did enjoy smoking (60 years) and refused to believe it could be harmful. She successfully underwent radiation & chemo-her tumor shrunk by at least 35%.
However, she is no longer “my” mom. Yes, she will always be the woman who gave birth to me. But for all practical purposes, I’ve already lost her.
When she does leave her bedroom (she locks herself inside & just stays in fhd dark/bed) it’s merely to emotionally abuse me. She says the most God awful things to me: calling me ugly, liar, loser-the negativity is draining me.
Logically, I believe she is projecting her anger about herself into me. I gave up my career to care for her. But all she wants to say about that is a lack of cash flow. No one-not one soul-has called or visited her. This is how mean she is. It has become untenable. She even had mini strokes last week-she began a new immunotherapy treatment which I do not like-and still no one cares.
I am alone taking care of a woman who has become a stranger. I am not a health professional, but depended on to be her driver/cook/personal shopper/nurse/housemaid-slave. She always said she’d never want her child taking care of her-but demands it.
I’ve tried to be understanding. I’ve tried to help. I’ve taken her abuse & placed it to the side, I’ve tried to see everything from her point of view. But now, it’s enabling bad behavior. She will be alone bc I won’t go down with this sinking ship. There is no excuse for a person, especially s mom, to treat people so badly, I can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be rescued. The docs dong take it seriously. But I’m leaving on vacation this weekend-my boyfriend is treating me to 2 days away-which yes, she’s already placed s negative spin on-and I haven’t decided if I’m returning,
