My boyfriend w/Lung Cancer & Me

[Breeandtim]

Good Afternoon,

My boyfriend has been diagnosed with lung cancer about (3) three months ago. Our lives have turnee upside down since then. Yet, we are praying, trying to eat healthier and love the way we use to. The hardest is out of the three is all three. 

How do you cope with all the changes? He doesnt look the same and I know this bothers him. He doesnt share much about his feelings but stage 3 is not an easy fight. In 2 weeks he goes to follow up on the tests they give after chemo and radiation to determine if they can operate.

How scary is this for anyone? Its right at my door so to speak. I hear it knocking and keep peeking out the window pretending death is not at my door in such a way. 

I feel helpless. Does anyone recommend a lung oncologist in MD? Please help us. He doesnt deserve this. 

Bree and Tim

[Katekat]

Hi @Breeandtim and welcome 

Thank you for sharing your experience. Does anyone have any advice for @Breeandtim?

The following are Australian resources but they will still be of benefit to you:

• Understanding lung cancer - pdf book
• Caring for someone with cancer - pdf book
• Emotions and cancer - pdf book
• Cancer affects the carer too - podcast
• Coping with a cancer diagnosis - podcast
• How do we care for the carer? - webinar
• What is different for men? - webinar

[little_stitcher]

Hi Bree and Tim,  I'm so sorry you're in this situation, but I'm glad you have found this forum.   My husband was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2011, and I remember how it turned our lives upside down.  It is scary, it is painful and it is hard- you're not weak or going nuts, it really does suck that much. 

The only advice I would give is that there is no right way to respond to this, so don't feel weird about your emotions.   The fact that you are posting as a couple is a great strength.  People may offer to help (the good old 'let me know if there is anything I/we can do')- take them up on it if you feel it's appropriate.  Maybe have a little list of practical things people can do (groceries, a load of washing, a lift somewhere).  It will make things easier on you, and they will feel good about being able to do something to help you. 

And keep posting here!  We're all here to cheer you both on.  love and hugs, Emily