My dads just been diagnosed

[eekkbby]

Hey guys,

my narm is Tiana. I’m 25, engaged to the love of my life, love my job and I think I have a fairly bright future except my dads just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We don’t know how bad yet, we should find out by next week. But he is my life. My mum left when I was 9 and he has been my rock since. 

I cry all the time when I’m alone. I can’t not bare to think of life without him.

my fiancé and I are moving in with him by the start of next month hopefully. I don’t know what to do. I’m not hungry, I’m constantly worried and stressed about him. I don’t know how to deal with this and what to do. I just really wanted to vent to people who know what I am going through. 

xx

[kj]

Hi Tiana

At present there is not much you can do ,until you learn the full extent of the staging of the cancer,to see if he is a candidate for surgery ,it all depends on how far advanced the disease is,all you can do is be there for your father at this very difficult period in your family’s life,have you had a chat to your GP about how his diagnosis is affecting your health and see if you need some professional advice you also need to look after yourself,try and take it one day at a time,I know it’s easy for me to say but it is important you are well for all your sakes.Also write down a list of questions when you go to appointments with your father sometimes under the stress you forget to ask what you want to know.

Best wishes to your family.

kj

[RJG]

Hi Tiana,

kj has good advice.

I don't have any experience with pancreatic cancer, but my advice is to read up as much as you can on the subject - symptoms, progression, treatments and life after treatment. Knowledge is power, and power gives you strength, particularly when dealing with cancer - any form of cancer.

The more you know, the more you can understanad the pros and cons of the options being offered by the specialists and then you can be prepared to act as your father's advocate to ask the right questions at the right time rather than "I wish I knew to ask that question 2 months ago".

Remember that gaining an inner strength will also set a great example for your father. After all it is his journey and you should seek to help him get to a position where he be confident to make decisions for himself whenever he needs to do so, even if they are decisions that you might not like. You can be his co-pilot, but in the end, he is his own pilot.

Best wishes to all of you in confronting this terrible situaton.

Rick

[Ducatichick]

Hi Tiana

I am sorry to hear of your Dad's cancer diagnosis. All the best with his ongoing treatments. I'm April and my loving beuatiful husband was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in June 2018 this year.

This is the scary cancer and I find anything you google just makes you feel worse as it is usually worse case senario. Research is good as you go along on your journey with your Dad, but keep it positive as you can. Until you know the outcome there is always hope to get through this.

We found the whole process like a rollor coaster of emotions as you go through the process, good advice to write down questions to ask when you go to your Dad's appointments and do this, go to them all Tiana as this is how you find out, if you dont ask questions you are in the dark most of the time which is scary.

Write down everybodys names involved abd get their phone numbers of whom to contact. After your Dad has more tests done they will know more and which treatments to use. My Husband was put on Chemo straight away once they had done these tests as he needed to shrink the 4cm Tumor in the head of his pancreas so they could do surgery to remove it. So from this stage we had the chemo and lived day by day keeping our fingers crossed it would shrink. (Surgery is the best option at the moment)

One time-I was working at the time Brett had his diagnosis and along the way after he had his 2nd biopsy, he contracted  Pancreatitis which was very painful and he ended up in hospital for 6 days, I kept going to work and missed every doctor that came to see him, which was awful as my Husband could not remember what they said. This was very overwhelming for me not knowing what was going on or what was going to happen next. One day I stayed home till lunch time before I went in as I had left the hospital at 10pm the previous night and when I came back he was on Insulin and being called a diabetic which he had never been before. 

Good you are moving in with him and are there to help him when he needs the help. All you need to do now is give his your usual love and support and just be there for him while he finds out what he needs to do next. 

Tania my hubby and I are still going through the process 6 months on, if you want to talk along the way If I can help I will be glad to hear from you, even the tiniest thing, I know what you are all about to go through and some of whats ahead but we are still learning as we go. Each case is different.

Regards  April