My husband has pancreatic cancer

[Coz]

Hi...not sure if I’m in the right place...first time. My beautiful husband of 36 years was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer  in November 2017.  I’m 58 and he is 63.  From that day on our life has been nothing like our old life. He has liver Mets so operating is  not an option but is currently having chemo and has been in and out of hospital with infections. We always shared  life’s roles...cooking, washing up, cleaning, shopping, he did repairs and bills...since his diagnosis I’ve had to learn so much dealing with our everyday and I’m trying not to think of my life without him but that’s hard.  As a retired nurse I negotiate the medical world for him. its been a rollercoaster ride that we don’t want to be on and having bad news all the time is emotionally and physically draining. I hope I’ve got the energy to cope. Thanks for reading 🌻

[KellyM]

Hi Coz
I am helping to care for my mum who also has metastatic pancreatic cancer so can appreciate how you are feeling. Mum and dad have been married for 50 years next week and my dad is the primary carer for mum, while i help as much as I can around work, kids etc.
He too is facing life without my mum and this is my biggest concern. While I cannot imagine the anguish that mum is suffering, watching my dad lose his best friend and life partner is heartbreaking. The whole experience has been agonising for everyone involved. But we keep going. Because that's what we have to do. And you will find the energy when you need to. And sometimes you won't. And that's OK too. We all pass through this life and have to leave some time. You know he is loved and cared for. You are doing your best, I'm sure.
Sending you virtual hugs and positive energy. Wishing for a miracle for all of us X

[Coz]

Thanks KellyM...I so appreciate you taking the time to reply. I feel so sad for your mum n dad....hug your mum and let your dad know that he won’t be lonely ...can you get him hooked up to a men’s shed or something similar.? Meals on wheels?  Apart from coping with supporting my husband is my fear of being lonely scares me. I’ve got friends and family but they have their own life....like your dad, I’m going to have to cope with losing my best friend and then how to live by myself...thank you so much for your encouragement

[dewsbu]

Hi Coz, I know how you feel. My husband was diagnosed 15 May and cancer had already spread to liver and duodenum with no warning. We are shocked and no treatment available except stent in bile ducts which has already had infection.

We are told we have a few months. We would love to travel to Uluru but husband afraid he will not make it there or back although docs say go and do things while you can.

I too dread being alone. Family and friends all busy lives and committed relationships. 

[Coz]

Hi Dewsbu.....I was so sad to hear your story cause I know how heartbroken and scared you  both must be. It’s a terrible shock to be given news like this....I was numb.  I also cried a lot.  You’ve got a hard path ahead of you so if you ever want to talk, I’ll be here.  Look to your friends and family for support, don’t be afraid to ask or let them know how you are feeling.  My husband and I were keen travellers and had so many hopes for a long retirement together but now we just take it day by day. We’ve had a couple of short stays locally and in Sydney, both ended up with hospital admissions with high temperatures....we joke about me knowing all of the hospitals between Sydney and Newcastle. Things are more stable now and we do what we can, when we can. I so hope you two get to Uluru but if not, find things that you can do together...we spend a lot of time on the couch watching movies or series and when hubby has good energy we go out for lunch.  You take care and please keep in touch 🌻

[katy_BIMALOY12]

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@Coz wrote:

Thanks KellyM...I so appreciate you taking the time to reply. I feel so sad for your mum n Adobe Reader dad....hug your mum and let your dad know that he won’t be lonely ...can you get him hooked up to a men’s shed or something similar.? Meals on wheels?  Apart from coping with iTunes supporting my Discord husband is my fear of being lonely scares me. I’ve got friends and family but they have their own life....like your dad, I’m going to have to cope with losing my best friend and then how to live by myself...thank you so much for your encouragement

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i used to be numb.  I also cried loads.  You’ve got a hard direction ahead of you so if you ever need to talk, I’ll be right here.  look in your buddies and circle of relatives for guide, don’t be afraid to invite or allow them to recognize how you are feeling.  My husband and i have been eager travelers and had such a lot of hopes for a long retirement collectively but now we simply take it daily. We’ve had more than one brief stays domestically and in Sydney, both ended up with health facility admissions with high temperatures....we comic story about me understanding all of the hospitals among Sydney and Newcastle. matters are extra solid now and we do what we will, whilst we will. I so wish you two get to Uluru but if now not, find matters that you can do together