Needing some advice

[Lyn32]

My eldest brother has had stage 4 pancreatic cancer for 3 years.  He has undergone several rounds of chemo and immunotherapy treatment, however the last treatment  didn't work.  He was given a timeline from his oncologist last week of 3 months (I'm aware this period of time could be longer or shorter).  He usually has his pain quite well under control, and when phoning him, most times he's doing ok, but today he wasn't great .  My brother lives in Ipswich and i live in Townsville.  I'm not sure how to ask my question, and I'm sure it is one that has been asked previously.  I have time free at the moment from work/study to visit him and help out where I can, or the very least be company and to listen and spend some bro and sister time.  Should I visit or wait to be asked?   I must add, he has 3 amazing adult children with families, who go above and beyond to be there for their dad.  My brother and I have other sibling as well, however they can't get away as easily as me at the moment...... I think my real question is simply 'how should I be there for my brother?'

[LindaG]

Hi Lyn32, given your brothers diagnosis I would def go and spend some time with him while you can. You don’t want to regret not seeing him. Maybe just show up if you think that’s ok. 💕 Linda G 

[sch]

Hi Lyn32,

I think that many people who have cancer don't want to impose themselves on others lives. So he might not want to ask. Instead, let him know that you actually would really like to see him.

Express to your brother that you would really like to see him and spend some time with him. Tell him you can stay for a short or a long while, and that it is up to him.

Regardless of his answer, I'm sure that knowing that you care and are thinking of him will make a difference.

-s

[Lyn32]

Hi Linda G, thank you for your reply, and for advising me to do very likely 'the obvious' to visit my brother. Your confirmation is comforting that I would be doing both the right and best thing, for me and my brother.

 Linda G 

[Lyn32]

Hi S,

Thank you for your reply to my query, and yes imposing on my brother's life was something I was concerned about. I've tried putting myself in his shoes, and I think I would like family being available for support and family time, especially if time may be limited...so I agree with you, being available to visit and  spend time would be a good thing for both of us. Thank you for confirming/suggesting how I should manage this situation.