just had the drastic news of my mum having inoperable late stage lung cancer that has already spread.

[destiny]

hi,im new to this site,,was wondering how to cope with having to watch my mum die,,she is already skeletol,im suffering bad depression,,dont know how to get out of the mind set im in,,i see a repeat of ecactly what happened to my dad at 11,,my dad passed away when i was 14 from the same kind of lung cancer,,dad was 50..i already suffer depression bought on by my dads death,,now i look at the most precious human being in the world whom i love more than life itself,,trying her hardest to fight with the little energy she has,,with the dreaded and most fearful word to me the C word,,im angry, shocked, in disbelief,like a nightmare,,i have been mums full time carer,,now since the cancer diagnosis im wanting to run and hide,,and are letting my sisters handle things,,i feel so selfish,,is this normal??i cant stand seeing mum this way,,its not fair..

[melbourneboybor]

Hi Destiny, My name is John and I'm from Melbourne. I'm 31 and my father is battling an aggressive form of Prostate Cancer. I've just read your post and I'm terribly sorry to hear your news. I wanted to write to you immediately so that you know that we're here to listen and help where we can. You've posted this over the weekend - and honestly, these forums can be a bit quiet over Saturday and Sunday, which is a good thing because it means most of us are enjoying time with our loved ones. Destiny, you absolutely, without question have people here, including myself, who will listen and talk with you. The news you've been given is life changing and you have every right to feel anxious, angry, upset, panicky... whatever is racing through your mind, these are natural occurances and while they can become a point of focus - please know that "dust settles" and that by talking and understanding your situation, you will start to become, tiny fraction by fraction, better equiped to deal with the future. I also want you to know that you're not alone. Hundreds, if not thousands... if not hundreds of thousands of Australians, from all shapes and sizes and from all parts of this country are right now going through similar journey's with their families. I can't... and no one here can flick a switch, press the delete key and take things away from you. But what we can do is be here to listen to you when you need to talk. Wanting to run and hide is perfectly normal - and If i'm here to be honest with you, I've considered it many times myself. Wouldn't it be almost better to just dissappear... and get a phone call, despite how hard it will be, but just know our loved one has passed and we've been able to run from all the pain in the lead up. It sounds incredibly selfish... but again, these thoughts are perfectly normal. You yourself are a woman and a human being on this planet. We are all creatures roaming this place and while I don't mean to be philisophical - having these strange, sometimes upsetting thoughts are a complete normal way of our own body telling us "Hey, how are YOU going to survive this". So while it may seem easy to run, let me just say one thing to you. Step aside for one moment and "mum" being "mum". Sure, we look at our parents or those that raised us as being this god like creature. Sure, its "Mum"... she's always been "Mum" and always will be. But please know that you're mum was once a young woman like you are. She was once a child. She was once a baby. We ALL go through this journey... and unfortuantly, some of us have a shorter time than others. But it IS a journey we ALL take... and think of your mum now as a woman. Think about her life and think about what would be important to her? Would it be important for her to be comfortable? Would it be important for her to spend time with those children she raised? What is important to your mum as a woman - an independant person living her life. And Destiny... when you do little things to step outside sometimes of the panicky, worrying mindset you have every right to be in... sometimes little thoughts come into your mind that will give you peace. She might not have a long time. Yet, she still might have the whole world ahead of her. There is a saying... "Tomorrow is promised to no one". Do your best to enjoy what you have right now.

[Kayleemaree123]

Ohh Destiny I am so so sorry to hear. I am new to this site too. I am going through something very simular, my mum to has lung cancer for the 3rd time and she only has 12 months to live we have just been told. I know and feel the pain you are going through. One thing I do know, is doctors are not always right and there is always hope. With my mums prognosis I am trying so hard to be positive and we are trying a new therapy called the Gerson Therapy. I am trying to find more info from people that practice here and as soon as I know more I will let you know. I understand how you want to run and hide, I feel the same. Its so hard to think that the most important person to me is dying. I cant believe it. I think you need to give your self time away, your not being selfish your giving yourself time. I do know though you have to face it at some stage. I am trying to also. Please look after yourself, you need to be strong for your mum. I am here if you need to chat

[destiny]

thankyou so much kaylee maree,,i was really praying someone would reply,im so sorry for the news on your mum,,i have heard of the gerson therapy,and did a few enquiries,,but unfortunately for my mum,,it s not suitable,,but im also looking into ocean marine planktum,,pls dont quote me on the wording i had it up the other night reading all about it then had a mind blank,,its a green capsule and contains some sort of fish i think?? i read where people have been cured and others where the cancer has slowed down,,but i am always a bit skeptical with these sort of things,,as people get paid to advertise there product,,but when it comes to a human life and a race against the clock,,i want to be sure..i will get the name of it again..my mum is drinking a juice,,which contains beetroot,,carrot,,apple,,celery,,if u would like to no more,,i can get back to u on that,as my sister makes it and i want to give the correct information,,it wont hurt ur mum as its all natural,ive also heard detoxing on just carrot juice when nothing else has worked for people,,

[destiny]

thankyou so much kaylee maree,,i was really praying someone would reply,im so sorry for the news on your mum,,i have heard of the gerson therapy,and did a few enquiries,,but unfortunately for my mum,,it s not suitable,,but im also looking into ocean marine planktum,,pls dont quote me on the wording i had it up the other night reading all about it then had a mind blank,,its a green capsule and contains some sort of fish i think?? i read where people have been cured and others where the cancer has slowed down,,but i am always a bit skeptical with these sort of things,,as people get paid to advertise there product,,but when it comes to a human life and a race against the clock,,i want to be sure..i will get the name of it again..my mum is drinking a juice,,which contains beetroot,,carrot,,apple,,celery,,if u would like to no more,,i can get back to u on that,as my sister makes it and i want to give the correct information,,it wont hurt ur mum as its all natural,ive also heard detoxing on just carrot juice when nothing else has worked for people,,

[destiny]

hello john,,thanku so much for ur reply,,i am so sorry to hear about ur dad,,i have read ur reply over and over and somewhat u have given me a bit of strength,,my mind has 2 sides rational and irrational,,i no that no one is promised tomorrow,,as i said to my mum,i could drop dead right now of a heart attack or anything,,but then the irrational side starts rearing its ugly head,,the whats ifs?? and i no the what ifs may never happen,,i have battled depression since i was 24 i am now 40 and always the negatives are there,,i ask god for peace,,but at the age of 24 i started suffering panic attacks ocd sub thought,,and when i sought professionally help,,the doc said the death of my dad would of been why,,he said a lot of times something can happen and a lot of times it will start in ur 20s,,mum has always been a nervous person,,and living right opposite i have been there my whole life,,been in a domestic violent relationship,,where as for a lot of years i dont have one single friend,,because of the person i was with,,its always been only my mum,,and i do feel guilty as i no there are little children fighting for there life with this hiddeous disease,,i do wish i could heal everyone..and erradicate the c word..i do have a lot of family members battling cancer,,but not close to me like my mum..