hi, my partner has leukemia and an inoperable brain tumor along with diabetes, arthritus and osteoarthritus. of late i have noticed a growing distance between him and i and i dont know what to do to fix it. he is still working 7 days a week as well, no matter my concerns about that. To ease things for him, i wouldnt let him see how bad i was feeling or talk to him about it, i tried to stay very strong for him and show a very strong presence. hes my best friend, so i didnt have anyone i could talk to, but always encourage him to talk to me to see how hes feeling. recently i stopped doing that and tried telling him how i was feeling, what i needed from him, our environment and our relationship. i can say that i need to spend more time with him hundreds of times and always gets surprised when i say how upset i am that hes barely here. i only see him max 4 hrs a day and he works nights. today we had a fight, he said that i have been talking down to him for months and i said that i felt forgotton due to the lack of time spent together and with our 2 kids. whenever he is home, its rarely us just enjoying the time together. its about work problems, his immediate family problems, how tired and sick he is feeling. i sit there looking at him while he thinking to myself, why doesnt he hug me anymore, why is he so distant when hes home, why doesnt it feel like an intimate relationship atm, he doesnt feel up to doing THAT but why isnt there any intimacy? i am so sad, all of us are missing out, him me and the kids. please help gypsy
Hi Gypsy, This is my first time on this site and I felt compelled to register so I can tell you that you are not alone and my heart goes out to you. I am really worried about the man in my life as things arent looking all that good. He tends to be very distant at times normally and sometimes blocks me out. We are at the very beginning of this journey and so I am very new to being in a carers role. I have never been before and this is the first time cancer has touched my life. I am scared that he will block me out as he tends to and he wont let me help him in different ways. He knows I am very concerned but I have kept how I truly feel - im a train wreck - to myself. It has been on my mind 24/7 since he told me last week. So I just wanted to let you know that there is someone here who is also experiencing her partner being distant. I am going to try and just be myself who he knows so well. I'll keep quiet when I need to and speak up when I feel I need to. He hates fuss and carrying on so I'll just get on with things. He knows I love him with all my heart and he does me. Please know that people care. Mary
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.