extra diagnonsis

[gypsy]

hi, well, today is a awful day. my fiance has an inoperable brain tumor near the hyperthalamus. he has had so many rounds of radio and chemo, with no result. then about 6 wks ago, he was diagnosed with leukemia as well. we were totally devastated to say the least. he was offered a trial treatment which would treat both cancers. the doses are so high and he has been very sick the whole time.  The new treatment shrunk the brain tumor more than half of what it was. he still has one more round to go before he gets re-assessed and today, thru an unrelated xray, they found a tumor in his knee. He may loose his leg, or the cancer may have spread and i may loose him. He is scared, confused and very depressed and just want to know if he has a chance or if he doesnt. he is still working and i need him to get well, he wants to fight, wants to win, he has alot of resolve. I am trying to convince him to stay at home and look after the kids while i go to work instead, he is so reluctant to do this. it wont make him any less of a man in my eyes. i need help. How do i stay strong for him when i'm utterly destraught and devastated inside? what can i be doing for him every day? please help mel  

[margro]

hi mel,you poor thing.i remember when i was diagnosed and i have to say,i honestly think it is harder for the family and loved ones than it is for the patient! if he wants to work and is able to,let him.being at home all day and having all that time to think,is not good!!! just love him and support him and as hard as it is to remember,LOOK AFTER YOUSELF!don't feel guilty about having time out,you have to stay strong for everyone.maybe the carers forum would be of some benefit for you? don't give up...i'm 3yrs past a stge 3 pancreatic cancer diagnosis!miracles can happen, praying for you all,margro

[admin_one]

Dear Mel, Thanks for sharing this. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling but I just want to say that I am very sorry to hear all the things you both have been going through. We are here to hear whenever you feel like sharing any of your emotions. I have never been in your position but when some close family members have been affected by cancer, what I got is that they just appreciate the fact that you are there. Hopefully someone else will provide more insights. Best wishes

[gypsy]

hey totocol, thanks so much for your kind words.  hes starting to feels alot better from his last round of chemo. finally! he has one more round to go and then he has a break and more tests. the appointment for his knee is tomorrow, so hopefully it all goes well. when hes feeling good, i feel alot better. i finally got to talk to him about how im feeling about it all, i waited until he had processed it himself before saying anything. i appreciate so much that there is a place where there are people like you to talk to - more than words can define. mel

[admin_one]

Hi Mel,I'm glad to hear he is feeling better. I think it makes sense that you feel better when he feels better too. You are both going through a very difficult time. Please keep us updated with the knee appointment and with anything else you would like to share here.Best wishesQuote: hey totocol, thanks so much for your kind words.  hes starting to feels alot better from his last round of chemo. finally! he has one more round to go and then he has a break and more tests. the appointment for his knee is tomorrow, so hopefully it all goes well. when hes feeling good, i feel alot better. i finally got to talk to him about how im feeling about it all, i waited until he had processed it himself before saying anything. i appreciate so much that there is a place where there are people like you to talk to - more than words can define. mel --------