Maddie - yep, no Melways this trip. Trying to make any sense of it is difficult - it has to fit in with what you were like before the C came along. And the side effects - mm, they are interesting.....not....
One step at a time - yes, can still manage that, depends on how much chemical warfare stuff is floating around in my body, going "la la la lets give that part of the brain a good shaking, see what happens.."
I know there's heaps of books about all this, but cant be stuffed reading them. Haven t read anything but engineering texts for years, so a book about what MIGHT be going on could be used to prop up a table, but thats about it. Dont want to waste my time anymore.
Hey, I yelled and screamed before I had C, (live in a family where on odd occasions one has to dodge flying cutlery) so yelling and screaming is just background noise. (But the cutlery does make a distinctive "Zzzzzz" sound as it flys, gives you a bit of a chance to duck...)
Fresh air - I live in Melbourne - you gotta be kidding, dont want to start any more tumors! Tassie is nice - calm, serene, peaceful, quiet. Perfect. No traffic. Nice food. Checked out a lot of Scone places - the one in Coles Bay is about the best so far.
Started Chemo again today, so buzzing from that a bit - I can see another "watch the sunrise" episode coming up. Got sleeping pills, but Blaah - their side effects reduce you to the level where you can stand In a corner and do lamp imitations....clashes with the flying cutlery awareness program always running in the background..mind you, was no way a morning person before, so, along with the Flying Cutlery,, fighting off Orcs, Peace in the Middle East (hah!) doing the garden, trying to finish building my aeroplane (no, thats a blatant lie, no time to even start now.) abusing people via email, falling over things, - life is always interesting.
Prognosis - not good, but cool about it, just see what happens. Time lines? - hey, your talking to oncologists here - they can just about tell you what day of the week it is, but not much more. And I know its not their fault, poor things - they just dont know. Its a soup, says mine. I dont give a shit about dying, but a slow, painful death terrifies me. And lung cancer is one of the nasty ones end stage. Wish I had done the chemistry elective at school rather than physics.
