Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous shores of Internet to get here..

oldhippy
Occasional Contributor

Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous shores of Internet to get here..

OK. New to this dying stuff , figured out there aint no Guide Book. Lots of Bach helps, as does sober and mature reflection of ones fate - (having a bit of trouble with that one, alas...) So. WTF is goin on? - am I just zonked out, or is this a Monty Python sketch? - bloody hell, not sure sometimes..... a tad confused, and somewhat perturbed. Andrew.
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maddie86
Contributor

Re: Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous ...

hey there.. i know this whole world of cancer seems crazy! it seems like an unfair dream, like everything is just going weird and wacky! what is your prognosis of your cancer? my advice is to take one step at a time, scream, shout get angry when you can and take a big breath of fresh air... there are no guide books as such, i know the cancer council have books available about cancer but nobody can truly prepare you for what you are going through.. :(
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oldhippy
Occasional Contributor

Re: Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous ...

Maddie - yep, no Melways this trip. Trying to make any sense of it is difficult - it has to fit in with what you were like before the C came along. And the side effects - mm, they are interesting.....not.... One step at a time - yes, can still manage that, depends on how much chemical warfare stuff is floating around in my body, going "la la la lets give that part of the brain a good shaking, see what happens.." I know there's heaps of books about all this, but cant be stuffed reading them. Haven t read anything but engineering texts for years, so a book about what MIGHT be going on could be used to prop up a table, but thats about it. Dont want to waste my time anymore. Hey, I yelled and screamed before I had C, (live in a family where on odd occasions one has to dodge flying cutlery) so yelling and screaming is just background noise. (But the cutlery does make a distinctive "Zzzzzz" sound as it flys, gives you a bit of a chance to duck...) Fresh air - I live in Melbourne - you gotta be kidding, dont want to start any more tumors! Tassie is nice - calm, serene, peaceful, quiet. Perfect. No traffic. Nice food. Checked out a lot of Scone places - the one in Coles Bay is about the best so far. Started Chemo again today, so buzzing from that a bit - I can see another "watch the sunrise" episode coming up. Got sleeping pills, but Blaah - their side effects reduce you to the level where you can stand In a corner and do lamp imitations....clashes with the flying cutlery awareness program always running in the background..mind you, was no way a morning person before, so, along with the Flying Cutlery,, fighting off Orcs, Peace in the Middle East (hah!) doing the garden, trying to finish building my aeroplane (no, thats a blatant lie, no time to even start now.) abusing people via email, falling over things, - life is always interesting. Prognosis - not good, but cool about it, just see what happens. Time lines? - hey, your talking to oncologists here - they can just about tell you what day of the week it is, but not much more. And I know its not their fault, poor things - they just dont know. Its a soup, says mine. I dont give a shit about dying, but a slow, painful death terrifies me. And lung cancer is one of the nasty ones end stage. Wish I had done the chemistry elective at school rather than physics.
Stitch
Contributor

Re: Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous ...

Hey Andrew Old Hippy, I love your attitude. I have cancer - well people are either carers or sufferers at one time or another on this site - so yes I have cancer too. I am a positive person - not worth moping about for me as that does not get anything done. Like you I have not read many books about cancer - so many people about that I kind of know the tough road to travel. I have googled the operatioin I am about to have - freeky lol Your post is great to read - makes one smile or crack up laughing. simular upbringing when I was younger lol. I havent yelled, screamed or cried yet about my upcoming opp. I have to keep it all together to go visit my younger sister 47 who is passing away with secondry breast cancer symptoms (lung & liver) So I just deal with each days challanges. I posted on the intro forum about my cancer etc. Hope you get a good outcome or at least a helpful one. Stitch (Gwen)
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Stitch
Contributor

Re: Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous ...

Hey Andrew Old Hippy, I love your attitude. I have cancer - well people are either carers or sufferers at one time or another on this site - so yes I have cancer too. I am a positive person - not worth moping about for me as that does not get anything done. Like you I have not read many books about cancer - so many people about that I kind of know the tough road to travel. I have googled the operatioin I am about to have - freeky lol Your post is great to read - makes one smile or crack up laughing. simular upbringing when I was younger lol. I havent yelled, screamed or cried yet about my upcoming opp. I have to keep it all together to go visit my younger sister 47 who is passing away with secondry breast cancer symptoms (lung & liver) So I just deal with each days challanges. I posted on the intro forum about my cancer etc. Hope you get a good outcome or at least a helpful one. Stitch (Gwen)
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Stitch
Contributor

Re: Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous ...

Hey Andrew Old Hippy, I love your attitude. I have cancer - well people are either carers or sufferers at one time or another on this site - so yes I have cancer too. I am a positive person - not worth moping about for me as that does not get anything done. Like you I have not read many books about cancer - so many people about that I kind of know the tough road to travel. I have googled the operatioin I am about to have - freeky lol Your post is great to read - makes one smile or crack up laughing. simular upbringing when I was younger lol. I havent yelled, screamed or cried yet about my upcoming opp. I have to keep it all together to go visit my younger sister 47 who is passing away with secondry breast cancer symptoms (lung & liver) So I just deal with each days challanges. I posted on the intro forum about my cancer etc. Hope you get a good outcome or at least a helpful one. Stitch (Gwen)
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The_Rowan
Contributor

Re: Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous ...

Andrew, I recon I know the Python sketch you're talking about, and if Spamalot ever comes back to Melbourne, you will be able to buy the perfect T-shirt. Please hang on to your wonderful sense of humour. It will help you more than you realise. I know that by making a bit of a joke about some of the things I went through, I was able to deal with the scary stuff more easily. Don't worry about being 'zonked out'. I am 6 months post op and have been back at full time work for the last four. I still get zonked out too, but I just declare a 'couch potato' weekend and recharge my batteries (so what if the house looks like a bombs gone off in it). Hang in there, and you will work out what works for you.
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SILLY
Super Contributor

Re: Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous ...

I am speechless . I saw a different gp last time I went to the doctor. I said I know I am going to die of lung cancer (not exactly true)as my cancer nearly alwasys metastesises to the lungs. Like you,if I understood you,it is the pain that's scary ,not the dying. That's what I think now anyway but when it's close I may also be scared of dying . I just don't know. All of this is still unknown until it happens. I wish you did not have to go through this.
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Stitch
Contributor

Re: Mmm, not sure if I have even navigated the perilous ...

I dont think I am scared of dying ... I had a bad accident 8 years ago, I lost 7 hours of time somewhere, but was told I was talking ok - which is weird as I never say things properly so Ken said he knew something was wrong lol I felt like I was watching things from afar & had no pain - so I have never been worried about dying since. Had major pain from when I can remember from 7 hrs later. I worry about losing out on the things I want to see happen. Our son (19) getting a girl & marrying or finally moving out lol. I want to enjoy the house we have just moved into (Our design) but at least I know I will enjoy recovering after my opp here. E Try to enjoy each day, what it has to offer & dont stress about the things we can not change Stitch
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