Aside from offering sympathy, my advice on self-termination is a firm NO.
Pain comes and goes. And it can be managed. Even if you think you've got hours or days rather than weeks and months, even in that scenario, I'd suggest trying to squeeze something meaningful out of that time.
Rather than suicide, you could get zonked out on painkillers and choose ... whatever that one thing is for you - that one obsession. Get all your money and an endless line of prostitutes, if that floats your boat. Go and pick fights with strangers, if that's therapeutic for you. When time is short, you have the unique benefit of being able to put to one side that big bag of shits that you're supposed to give in normal circumstances, and move forward unimpeded. It doesn't have to be antisocial - in my case there might be a little of that, but yours could be sweet and wholesome.
(But yeah, youre free from worrying about tomorrow, worrying about what people think, and that is, in a way, liberating. "I don't give a shit" is often a gesture of despair ... but leaving baggage behind and CHOOSING what to do with your remaining time should lead you to some kind of pathway other than suicide)
If it's unknown how much time you have left and you're just scared .. then I'd talk to my doctor:
a) about managing depression, pain and suicidal thoughts; and
b) about getting on a palliative care / quality of life program to minimise the suffering for my time that's left; and
c) about getting on any clinical trials, immunotherapy, that kind of thing -- I had a close family member who was due to die within '2-3 weeks' and he got on an immunotherapy trial and lived another 5 years.
Anyway, I'm not projecting this onto you, not telling you what to do, just offering my own firm perspective. You have cats. I have three young kids. I get that it's a different proposition, but the basic premise is the same: YOU ARE STILL ALIVE.
We all have to die. Embracing it is stupid. There is still time available to you. USE IT.
Whatever it is that you love, whatever that obsession is, even if there's a bully from high school you always wanted to punch in the face. List it down and (without blaming me in the event of later police attention!) go for it. That's my suggestion, in lieu of popping pills and ending it.
You're afraid of pain. OK. Nobody likes pain. But pain isn't the only thing. And it passes. And once we suffer it, we usually find that it's not half as bad as the ANTICIPATION of pain was. The flinching before the blow (which is what you're doing now).
Fuck that. Get some heavy pain med from your cancer doctor and go and see some movie marathons or something. As long as that essential piece of spirit inside you that makes you .. YOU .. is still there and functional, killing yourself is (just in my opinion) the gravest mistake available to a human being.
