Lost my Dad to Stomach/Lung/Brain Cancer

[Flanisha]

Hello! My name is Clare and my dad passed away from Stomach/Lung/Brain cancer a month ago :( He passed away just 6 weeks & 5 days from his initial diagnosis. It was all so sudden and too fast he was gone in a blink of an eye! I'm obviously still grieving and experiencing all kinds of emotions right now. It's so hard. All I want is to be able to see my dad again. He had just retired and was looking forward to spending all his time with my mum. It's so hard seeing my mum so lonely now. Even when she is with friends and family you can still see such loneliness in her eyes. I really want to be able to talk to someone about how I'm feeling and what I should be doing to get through this and how I can be there for the rest of my family. My emotions have been all over the place and I do feel for my husband who is copping the brunt of all my anger when he has done nothing wrong.. Please help :( Thank you.

[Catherine251]

Thinking of you Clare on the sudden loss of your dad, It is totally normal to feel so many emotions, and for your husband to cop the brunt of it. It sounds like it all happened far too quickly for you to have time with your dad. I don't know what to say, but perhaps the Cancer Council helpline might be helpful for you. I just wanted to send you kind words at a tough time. Sending hugs your way, Catherine

[Catherine251]

*Sorry my wifi dropped out so the message sent twice

[Flanisha]

Thank you for your message Catherine :) I will definitely keep the helpline in mind.

[Melbournesummer]

Hi flanisha, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I was looking at this forum for the first time as I also feel like I have no idea how to get through this situation. My dad died six weeks ago from renal cell carcinoma, which had spread to his bones and lung. It was just under seven weeks from diagnosis to death and he was just 66, only retired for less than a year. I feel for you regarding your mum, it seems natural to feel helpless that there is nothing you can do to ease her pain or loneliness. I don't know about you but I've also felt guilty when I talk about my fiancé because I know she is suddenly alone and never imagined she would be in this situation. I think what you are doing here, looking for helpful advice, support and allowing yourself to talk and grieve is a good thing to do. The fact that you're even aware of mood swings when going through this shows how much you care for your husband and I'm sure you are his number one priority at the moment. I really hope you are starting to find ways to celebrate your dad, grief seems to come and go in waves where I remember all over again it's not a bad dream. Other times I have already started to smile when I think of family jokes or funny memories, it is still so soon but I hope your tears will start to be replaced by smiles and fond memories some day. Wishing you all the best hun, feel free to private message me if you like, I felt like we had a lot in common reading your post. Anne