greiving in advance

[Ambrose]

I live just far enough away from dad that I've seen his cancer jouney through email and phone calls. I feel disconnected by the 200km between us but I'm about to go visit him for real. I helped him write a blog www.vivarajiva.com at least there's something I could help him with. They say Dad has perhaps 6 months to live, less than 5 now that it's November. What I think started off as skin cancer is now in his bones. He doesn't use much official medical terminology. I have to say I'm touched by everything I've read here. These forums read like a a suppotive community, where people can let it all hang out : say what you're feeling with people who understand. for anyone who's been in this situation: How do you deal with a prognosis like that: youself or a loved one, a few months to go?

[Jules2]

Ambrose Sorry to read of your Dad's diagnosis! I don't really know how to deal with it except that I would leave as few regrets as possible. Say all the things you want to say and do all the things together that you want or can do. WHen I got told with my first cancer that I would have a month to live, somehow it never really sank in that it was possible and I never made the decision as to who was to have my son. I look back now and think that I was incredibly silly not to have sorted that out. Fortunately, I outlived expectations and it was never a problem. I wish you and your family all the best. Julie

[Ambrose]

Thank you Julie, my whole family are getting together this week. Should be a good opportunity to create a few more fond memories. Dad has metastasised squamous cell carcinoma, like 'smartyalligatorpants' has commented recently in another forum topic. Dad has been told it's an unusual cancer and therefore unpredictable. aiming for no regrets! ambrose

[#4]

Hi Ambrose.. Always be yourself ,treasure the Fond memories, it all affects us in different ways[ another platitude sorry I hate them} but thats how it goes. In the last few years I have lost Family and close friends to cancer, its been so Hard . Now I find myself dueling with this beast I find myself looking to those who've gone before me knowing how they dealt with it and I find that we all deal with this scenario individually cos thats who we are! Hope Your Dad is coping ok. Hope you and your Family Make it the bestest Christmas ever. :) Cheers