Hi Phil,
What a rollercoaster for you! Until your partner goes into hospital you don't realise how awful it is for the one at home. My husband jumped off a table at a party with his sun glasses on - somehow misjudged the depth and did somethings to his feet, shins and legs. Couldn't walk. Few days in hospital. Not life threatening and I found it to be really stressful. I am really glad your wife survived and is getting better. It certainly puts everything into perspective. We only have right now. No one knows what is around the corner and that's probably a good thing.
I'm also glad that you've finished your chemotherapy. Yes, consider yourself cured and move forward and onward somehow. Every day is the best day from now on because you'll both be very grateful to have survived and possibly learned great coping skills for whatever happens in the future. 2019 has been a challenging year! It's also been a year full of love, support, happiness - perhaps bit harder to find - joy, laughter and dark humour. Not all bad.
I had a lovely phone call from my youngest son yesterday on way to meeting. He asked me how I was and he gave me a thorough scolding. Had I taken recent blood tests? Was I taking any iron? Yes, I put the sachets of liquid iron near the kettle 3 weeks ago but hadn't taken any. Why? I don't have juice to put it in. Why? I'm too tired to go to supermarket. He told me to send him shopping lists, for goodness sake! What was I eating? Told him not much. I'd had to ask my husband to make me eat a small meal with him every night recently as I could go days without eating and would often lie to him that I had already eaten before he came home. After that confession, I made heaps of mashed carrots, endive, red cabbage and potato - separate (not together) meals, about 2 weeks worth of spaghetti bolognese, easy to eat and frozen meals ready for weeks ahead. Can't face soup although am about to make a big pea and ham soup. He asked me if I had been back to Naturopath? No. He was getting a bit annoyed and said that if I was one of my own children, what would I do. He says I'd be dragging them to the Naturopath and force feeding them by now. I have to lift my game or he's going to be really annoyed. He's going to make me one of his super soups.
It actually gave me a wake up call. I need to do better. Went to supermarket on way home from meeting. Bought juice and actually put the liquid iron in it and drank the whole thing! I am going to do better. Somehow I was waiting for appetite to return but it still hasn't and I find it incredibly hard to eat when not hungry. It's just so unnatural. I think in the meantime I have to set some eating goals and at least try to drink the fortified chocolate milk drink. I can't seem to face them yet have a whole carton still waiting to be used.
I've also learned to stop pretending I'm fine. I'm not. This is the hard part of the journey I guess and frustrating because you think it should be all over by now. The Professor of Radiotherapy told me there's no exact time and date that the after effects will cease. It's now about managing one kind of food intake until the appetite returns. What if it never does? Ha Ha! I've just worked out that I am 2 months exactly post treatment so it might still resolve.
I have news on teeth! First fitting 13th January and lots of appointments through to March. Bad news - no teeth for Christmas!! I will have to come up with a very soft and easy to eat Christmas food this year but also celebrate that I'm here for Christmas so I'm looking forward to it. I absolutely love Christmas and my grandchildren do too. It's a lovely time of year. I hope you enjoy Christmas with your family too Phil and treasure your wife. Such a lucky escape.
The company that bought our business paid everyone 3 days out of 10 days in their fortnightly pay run Tuesday just past. Liquidators had only enough to pay that amount. They then terminated most of their employees on the same day with no holiday pay or long service leave. People were devastated. Young families with mortgages and bills. Out of work just before Christmas and unlikely to quickly find a new job before Christmas. We were ok. We will survive a 3 day pay and we weren't terminated. Apparently we will get a full fortnight pay next fortnight. If new company buys us we will move over to them in January and be paid all the way through as we have clients and work that has to be finished. That's a blessing under the horrendous circumstances.
It's going to be a hard Christmas for many people. All the bushfire victims will struggle as well. We all need to count our blessings because in the scheme of life, we're all very lucky to be here today.
You'll be very happy to know Phil that I can now eat a cheese toastie if I break it up into tiny pieces. Life can only get better. x
