I feel so alone

[Dancing_Julie]

Hi...I am new to this community (have had 2 cancers in 4 years)...have a question for all of you ...Has anyone found therapy really helpful? I am wondering if I had a lame therapist and should try someone else ..she was ok with normal day to day problems..but CLUELESS about how to handle some of my problems from the 2 cancers her suggestion for coping with severe anxiety waiting for PET scan results..."just try to relax and take a nap"

[Dancing_Julie]

Hi...I am new to this community (have had 2 cancers in 4 years)...have a question for all of you ...Has anyone found therapy really helpful? I am wondering if I had a lame therapist and should try someone else ..she was ok with normal day to day problems..but CLUELESS about how to handle some of my problems from the 2 cancers her suggestion for coping with severe anxiety waiting for PET scan results..."just try to relax and take a nap"

[smellingtherose]

Hi so glad i persisted till the end of your story - a big thanks to your words of wisdom, now im crying. I have found that the hardest thing to cope with is other peoples reactions to which I have now realised that yes they do want you to be back to "normal". Why? my theory is this - they just want it all over because its just too hard for them, they dont know what to say or how to act, they cry, they want their friend etc back - well that isnt reality is it. It would just be easier for all concerned to just get over it - but they didnt go through the pain and all the crazy shit that happens in your head. When is it over when is it that we can act normal, never, everything has changed. Yes life will never be the same I hope that it can be better more forfilling. But right now the pain I feel, the grief, the loss of what my life was supposed to look like is not helped my people around me WAITING for things to get back to normal. Why cannt they just ask how are you today? Sorry I seem to be venting now - bring alone is not so bad, i like the peace and quite and have hope that I can oneday find a friend that can be a friend and letb me do the crying!

[Mignon]

Dear Smelling theroses, I agree with you 100% about the reactions of other people. My life will never be the same again, and I have not had cancer but caring for my daughter has changed my life forever. Loving friends at the time just didn't get it, were afraid to ask, and of course now that she is 5 years "all-clear", no-one even recalls anything. It is still with me everyday, every ad on TV, every charity ride etc, etc. I have been seeing a shrink since November for depression and he feels that I will never resolve the depression until I "let" go of my daughters illness. LET GO. What a joke. My life is seen in terms of " before she got sick" and "after she got sick". And , in a strange, way, I don't want to let go. I nearly lost my beautiful girl. I am here as her mother , to validate all that she went through, when she cant recall the trauma of that period in her life. Now I am venting!!! Anyway, this is a great place to vent, because someone will probably "GET" it. I hope you have a better day today dear friend. Mignon

[Allicat]

Hi Dancing Julie I have been seeing a counsellor since last February. She has been very helpful. I think the more important thing is just having somewhere I can talk rather than getting actual advice. Sometimes she talks about her theories on whatever and I wish she would be quiet so I could talk. I practically never cry when I'm by myself but I have cried buckets while talking to the counsellor. I think that is a good healthy thing. The last few months I have not needed to cry and I am spreading the appointments further apart. If you don't feel like your therapist is helping then you should probably try someone else. There are therapists who specialise in cancer patients - maybe you should try to find one of them.

[mazsa]

HI Locky, I was diagnosed 9mnths ago with inoperable therefore terminal pancreatic cancer. It is very scary & no matter the amount of friends you have it is still very lonely. I can make no comment on your diagnosis as I don't know exactly what it is however if you want to connect with people that have your cancer type I have found a great American website that gives you so much more information and help than ours does. the address is as follows www.cancercompass.com I wish you all the best but just keep talking to us all. Merelyn

[#7]

Hi All, The Admin Team welcome the sharing of cancer-specific resources by community members on Cancer Connections, however it is very important that when a third-party website is recommended - particularly those based overseas - that users are aware of who owns and manages that service. CancerCompass is an online information and communications service provided by Cancer Treatment Centers of America, Inc. and has direct affiliations and commercial arrangements with Treatment Centres and Health Professionals in the United States. Cancer Connections is an Australian service, provided by Cancer Council NSW in collaboration with other state Cancer Councils. It has no commercial affiliations, and is designed to allow people affected by cancer to support one another by sharing their experiences, knowledge and individual perspectives. Cancer Connections does not offer comprehensive information or medical advice and Community members requiring such information are encouraged in the first instance to contact their GP or treating doctor or the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20 in their home State or Territory. Each State and Territory Cancer Council also offers detailed information and access to a wide range of locally accessible services and resources via their respective websites. Links to these and other resources are available here: www.cancerconnections.com.au/content/resources-and-emergency-contacts Kind regards, Felix & Kate Cancer Connections Admin Team

[splinter]

xxxxx

[glenys48woods]

people who hasn't had this kind of surgery of breast cancer or even other types of cancer don't relise what they are saying to you. Please help me out with this also with hints because I do really strongly feel sad at their responses. I don't blame you at all the way u feel as being lonely is quite a bit of the resourses that people who misunderstand don't get on with others who had this type of surgery. They say why whinge at this in your life which makes it worse and u feel more lonely.

[glenys48woods]

Hi Bahareh, It's good to have our Heavenly Father in our lives and He helps us a lot. I am a strong religous person and having cancer is a big help to me as it is not so alone as He is with me all day and night. Glenys.