To Allicat I have been seeing a Psychologist for a while and yes sometimes I have walked out feeling like it was a waste of time. I wont repeat what the others have said but I think there are some issues that you do need to discuss with your counseller (I have a background in counselling) you need to trust this person so that you can open up to her/him. I was very confused on one occasion after conselling and phoned the cancer connect people - a lovely chap admitted that he had no idea what it would be like to go through what I had been through. Anyway he was very helpful and was able to give me the clarification that I needed. I think we just have so much to deal with in our heads and all the emotions that go with it that sometimes after the sessions when we can think a bit clearer we may have more questions or be confused because we just want to talk it all out with someone that can listen and not be judgmental. Its just hard to find someone that can help us through our time of need. Thats all I will say for now cause im hogging the page! CHEERS ... View more

HI some advise from someone thats in the same boat DONT push yourself too hard when you go back to work your body needs time I remind myself everyday - to put myself first - dont know about you but I was working too hard before the cancer changed all that I know we are all different but only you know what you are able to deal with and there will be good days and bad days My moto is take time out to "smell the roses"" Just take care OK Cheers ... View more

Hi Glenys I also have a son he is 18 and I am a single mum, the most devastating thing that I have had to deal with is how he feels about me and my cancer. I dont talk about it to him well he doesnt want to know. Since the cancer - its been 9mths since I was first diagnosed. It hurts so much when he gets angry at me, which is alot of the time. Things seem to be settling down and then he come out with "ever since you got cancer...." its always the same thing he gets angry and then I get upset. I know its not fare but my life has changed and I now spend most of my time taking care of myself and working towards felling better. This is totally NOT what I was going to write im sorry but the reason im on the computer right now at 11pm is because he upset me again so i wont be able to sleep and sorry im just getting it off my chest. So yes i totally understand how yes it is difficult for the child to go through but golly gosh it hurts as a mum to be the brunt of there emotions. And im so over being an inconvenience to others who would rather forget the whole thing every happened Hay feels good to blow off some steam and yes im fine thanks sheers to all my friends So when does the sleeping thing happens?? ... View more

thank you for your suggestions, I have seen the GP the specialist and today the hospital phyisio. They all have suggestions as to what it is and how to treat it - but all different so I guess i will try them all and when the pain goes away we will be none the wiser but at least i wont have any pain. I did find out that deep breathing and relaxation works on the lymphatic system - and I have started doing tai chi so we will see I am still struggling with the pain in my legs it keeps me awake and the oncol said just take pain meds well he does have a point but thats not fixing the problem I have also tried massage and it does help but cost money so it is a bit limiting Just any other post surgery issue!! ... View more

I think the Year of the Dragon sounds like a year for all good things to happen - so fingers crossed. The good news will eventually sink in and you can celebrate CHEERS ... View more

My prays go out to you my friend and i do hope that you find a beautiful place for your sister and please take care of yourself as well All the best Smellingtheroses ... View more

Welcome Maggie, We seem to get a stage in the recovery - when we are able to start asking WHY - I think it is a turning point towards living (whatever that is) - well for me it has been - one step at a time. I know I was pushing myself too hard, so something had to give, for me it had been a wake up call. But it is something I never want to get anywhere close to again. The doctors said I was unlucky - what does that mean! I had aggressive cervical cancer stage three even the doctors refused to believe it no wonder I was shocked. I dont care why anymore thats just too hard, im going to enjoy every single moment that I have left on this earth. I have recently joined this site and it is just great to talk to someone that gets how you are feeling. Yes there are always people that are worse off than you BUT we all have our own journey and need support Cheers for now Teresa ... View more

HI there, yes its very hard I had 6 mths off work and the last thing you want to think about is the bills. I was surprised that my bank was very helpful when I explained my situation they helped! I have not had to pay anything on my visa card for the time I have been off work. I guess just ask for help and take it where you can. Concentrate on getting well and healthy. Hope that helps. Cheers. ... View more

HI Rowan, thankyou for your kind words, I think we all need the validation for knowing that we are not alone. I am also a single 51 yr old, I left a bad marriage 11 years ago and have two boys 22 and 18yrs - boys dont get it! I think im lucky to be single realy it would take a very strong man to stand by you through all this - but I do hope to change that one day. The funny thing is my best friend was very supportive but didnt cope very well she was single for two years and suddenly decided to get out there and start dating well she has a man now and i dont see much of her now. My youngest son lives at home he hasn't coped very well he has been so angry it makes me sad - but he has always been very protective of him mum. I guess we both haven't handled the situation the best, he calls me an alien anyway things are starting to look up he has actually been talking to me the last week. I seem to be venting again, I keep telling myself it is early days yet and yes I am learning to put myself first. This whole ordeal seems to change the way you think about everything, well life in general, I find it amazing how it has changed me (for the better) so I guess I cannot blame others for changing as well. So heres to 2012 (thank god my boys are old enough to fend for themselves) Im looking forward to doing alot of things of haven't done before. I hope you are doing ok at work and getting stronger every day. I hope to chat again soon. Teresa (smellingtheroses) ... View more