I might be cancer free

Regular Contributor

I might be cancer free

Hi folks, 

 

I am new to this forum and I can't seem to stop writing posts.

 

Who is PhilPepper? I am Phil. Pepper is my stoma. I tried to avoid naming it, but it just had to happen.

 

So after an unexpected diagnosis, a few scans, a few blood tests, and finally a surgical consult, I checked in for my lower bowel resection. That was Thursday and now it's 1:30 am following Tuesday. 

 

As my title suggest, I could be cancer free since the nice doctor cut it out. However, I guess I have the DNA to always be at risk, and it may have been so advanced that surgery is only the first step in my treatment. The reality is, I am a cancer patient for life and I just had surgery to buy me some time. This doesn't seem to be such a difficult scenario but I am struggling. I can't tell you how much I  just want it gone.

 

I am hoping for the best. In 12 weeks they will reverse my ileostomy and life will return to almost normal. Followed up by regular and thorough checks.

 

There are people I want to be here for.

 

Cheers

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Regular Contributor

Re: I might be cancer free

Hi Forum,

 

Just replying to myself to extend my brief introduction to less brief.

 

Release from hospital today. Still going through a lot and suffering pain. But that is all surgical related. Apart from having a stoma and bag hanging off the front of me, my suffering hasn't been the result of cancer. It was silently killing me in the background , mostly unnoticed.  I may have experienced all this trauma if I was having my appendix out. So it's kind of like it doesn't count. Like I shouldn't complain. I had cancer, it was cut out and now it's just surgery pain to worry about.

 

I am still experiencing that voice telling me, don't be soft, harden up, just ignore it. I think it's called Man Disease. I thought Dr Corbett beat that to death with my diagnosis, but obviously not. I think I'm going to be fighting with myself a lot. Being cancer free doesn't mean I'm no longer a cancer patient. I still have a stoma. I still have an upcoming surgery. I still have a major change in lifestyle ahead. I may still need chemo. I may still have early signs of cancer in my lungs. Let's not mention the emotional burden so far and yet to come.

 

Cancer free, not cancer patient free. It's not hard to reconcile. Cancer patient for life, however long or short it may be. I guess the goal is to reach the highest point where quantity and quality meet; and try to not get hit by the bus before then.

 

On a lighter note... do you like my profile picture? This is Sally, my nine year old cavalier king Charles. She is Daddy's princess and she has been missing me like crazy. Looking forward to going home for cuddles.

 

I'm a dog person. Post me photos of your four legged friends.

 

Au revoir

 

Cancer Council Team

Re: I might be cancer free

Welcome to the community @PhilPepper  Smiley Very Happy

 

It's lovely to have you here! I'm Kate, the Online Community Manager here, so you'll see me about from time to time.

 

I hope that your recovery from surgery goes well, what's the next step after this?

 

I must admit, I absolutely love your profile picture. Sally is gorgeous!! I am also a dog person, I've grown up with dachshunds, unfortunately the last one passed away a number of years ago whilst I was pregnant with my eldest child. We've now got 2 kids and just starting to think about getting a dog again. We're lucky other close members of the family have some lovely kelpies amongst others so the kids get to enjoy them in the interim.

 

-Kate

Regular Contributor

Re: I might be cancer free

Hi Kate,

 

Puppy stories need photos.

 

My next step is recover from surgery, while waiting for pathology to come back. I will see my surgeon in 4 weeks, but if chemo is needed, I don't know when it is supposed to start. Still a little fuzzy in that area.

 

Also, in the meantime, is learning how to manage an ostomy bag at home, then at work. It's a crappy situation, but poo jokes are on the rise in my family. Despite being a little pun-gent.

 

I guess that's extension 3. Getting less brief.

Frequent Contributor

Re: I might be cancer free

Hi PhilPepper, Sounds like we had similar experiences. After I had the colectomy I was really very sore. I tried to stay as active as I could post surgery. I just tried to do as much walking as I was able to (which depended on the day). Some days I just had to walk very very slowly. My chemo didn't start until I had recovered from the surgery. My cancer was stage 2a, and the chemo was just incase it had spread anywhere. Best of luck. sch PS. Cats rule
Regular Contributor

Re: I might be cancer free

Hi sch

 

You nailed it. That's what I'm experiencing. However, dog rule.

 

So I found out yesterday arvo that the cancer was in a single solitary piss-ant little lymph node. So it's off to chemo for me. So now I have an appointment with an oncologist later this month. Chemo will start around 6 weeks post surgery. 

 

I'm not sure exactly when I started thinking this fight would be a cake walk. The news zapped a lot of strength. I've started getting angry at people checking up on me to see how I am. I guess I'm angry.

 

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Frequent Contributor

Re: I might be cancer free

Hi PhilPepper,

Yes, chemo sucks. The sooner you get it over and done with, the better.

Just be angry with the cancer. Channel that anger in to your recovery and getting through the chemo.

-s

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Occasional Contributor

Re: I might be cancer free

Hey Phil,

 

Great to hear you are up and about. Hope you get rid of your pepper soon.

 

Today is end of week 4 since my surgery. Still hurts a little but otherwise in great spirit. No chemo recommended for me. I have now been transferred to urology department to further investigate my kidney issue. Appointment is in two weeks and I am very nervous about it. Life is still on hold for me for now. Can’t plan anything until I know what my kidney needs, if anything.

 

I am impressed with your humour and positivity. Please keep it up.

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