Hi Kevin, I am 32, married with 2 young sons and was ( and still am ) really concerned about how this would affect them and what would happen if something happened to me, I think these feelings are all natural. After my surgery to remove the cancer the pathology results showed that the tumor was grade 3, larger than expected, was growing through lymph channels and also vascular invasion (growing through veins) I finished my treatment 12 months ago. I also had major surgery with a 2 week stay in hospital. I found that after the surgery I was really keen to get going with the chemo and radiotherapy and felt really positive, but after a week or two I started to feel fed up and at times felt like giving up. I think it is really common to have these feelings, the treatments really take it out of you. I spoke to the social worker a couple of times which did help me to get some things off my chest which is really important. I think that there are a lot of things that I would not want to discuss with family as it may upset them. I dont know the status of your illness but try to keep up the fight you will come through. Just think every time you have a treatment that it is one more down count them off one by one. There is light at the end of the tunnel, you may feel terrible right now but it is amazing how we tend to recover and heal from these things and become accepting of any side effects and check ups. It does take time and the emotional side is something that stays with me & worst case scenarios sneak into my mind every now and then but I try to push them aside and just think of my family and live each day as it comes. After reading your last post I really felt for you. I hope hearing my story will help somehow. People do survive bad cancers and go on to live happy lives. Best wishes butterfly
