Thought I'd beaten it 8 years ago

[SandiS]

Hi Everyone,

I'm new here but sadly not new to cancer. Eight years ago I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer (aggressive invasive ductal carcinoma). After 2 surgeries, chemo and radiation therapy I thought I'd beaten it. Two months ago I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in my bones and liver. I'm 50 years old and am struggling with what it means to have terminal cancer.  I have a 16 year old son living at home and a 1 year old grand daughter thanks to my oldest step son. I have way too much to live for and a few more years is not enough!! Sometimes I feel angry but at the moment I'm just sad.

Thanks for 'listening' xxx

[Budgie]

Hi SandiS,

I have terminal kidney cancer & know exactly how you feel. I am a little older than you - just turned 56. While my 4 children are all grown & flown, I am lucky enough to have 5 gorgeous grandkids, which I get sent regular pics of & have live chat sessions to see them. I use the love I have for my family to keep me going. I refuse to give in & I put little stock in any timeline given. I keep a good attitude with help from my wonderful husband, but of course there are the days when I cry. I don't want to die! So I will continue to refuse to give in.

Use this forum as often as you need to, as there is a wonderful lot of people here, who can give you guidance & support. Talk to your son openly & often. Talking is the best thing. If you haven't done so already, prepare your funeral now. Don't leave it, even though it's a painful process, it can also be therapeutic in its own way. I've got mine all organised & ready to go. Involve your son in the process, if he wants to as it can help him too.

Just don't forget that you are not alone. Sending you well wishes

Budgie

[SandiS]

Thanks Budgie. I appreciate you taking the time to write to me.

I'm not sure I'm brave enough to tackle funeral plans just now but I understand your logic. At the moment I'm just getting through one day at a time, tackling one new side effect at a time and hoping for better days ahead. Your attitude is an inspiration and I can only hope to find that kind of grace in the face of a horrible situation. 

Bless xxx