Trying to live after been told your going to die

[Scott1]

well here i am 1am monday night have no idea what im doing in 2019 was told had 18months left pat on the back good luck enjoy what time is left so we travelled and enjoy the trips so was ready for death had all things ready to go and mind was great and made up 15 months in some miracle its gone rejoice family and wife kids all happy me im lost i was ready for death now ive got to live and have no idea i just smile for family and put on this lie but im lost no idea how to do that anymore and who do i talk to as even mention im lost its hey your alive you should be grateful no i was set for death i was ready just a old guy looking for somthing but no idea as im a bloke no one cares my vent for a monday 

[LindaG]

Hi Scott, glad this is a place you can put all your feelings out. I haven’t been in your situation so can’t imagine how you are feeling. It must be so hard to not have anyone who can relate to your feelings. I do understand the joy of your family having longer with you. Maybe you feel scared that it’s not true or it might come back? I don’t know. Maybe you can find someone at the Cancer Council to talk to. They are always so lovely. Love and prayers to you. 💕🙏 Linda 

[sch]

Hi @Scott1 

Isn't this the truth.

The 18 months is just a statistical number. It's based on patient numbers before you. Nothing more, nothing less.

This is where you lose hope, but also where you find it again.

In 2019 when you received your prognosis, knowingly or unknowingly, you went through a process and prepared yourself to die.

You said your goodbyes to your wife, family and loved ones.

You tidied your affairs, you ticked off the bucket list.

You lost all hope.

But what happens if the best case scenario happens and you live? What now?

Because now that you're alive, you still need to find hope again.

Doctors, surgeons, psychologists and therapists. They've very good at what they do, but they don't seem to be good at preparing you for life again (just the other way around).

Find one thing that you enjoy doing for yourself.

Do it for no other reason than because you enjoy doing it.

Maybe it's as simple as sitting in the sun or sitting on a seat and staring out over the ocean.

Or going for a walk.

Start with just that one thing and then build upon it.

Start at the start, because it makes for a good beginning.

[Michele63]

Good morning, Scott1. It must be difficult for you and it sounds like you can't find someone who truly understands what you are going through.  Hopefully through this forum you can.  I'm in a different situation.  I was diagnosed with a sarcoma in January 2023 and after some radiation treatment and surgery was told that the tumour was all taken out and the margins were clear.  Now I am 'under surveillance' (surgical team's terms not mine) for 8 years. Before I had the radiation and treatment I asked my surgeon 'what if I did nothing?' but didn't receive an answer so I suspect the answer wouldn't have been good.  So I've ended up treating my sarcoma as a nuisance that had to go - perhaps that's denial on my part I don't know. I honestly don't know how I would have gone if my situation was like yours but I appreciated the opportunity to read your post which certainly gave me a lot to think about moving forward.

[drpchiripal]

Care from loved and dear ones and the medical attention of a cancer surgeon are a must for the patient.

[SerapB]

Hi Scott1,

I just read your post. I know it's been a while and I hope you have made some progress in your search. 

I too was told make the most of the good times and thank God I made it. 

I was shocked too but I believe it's about perspective, looking at your situation from another angle. 

I saw a psychologist all through my journey and that helped me alot. I read books, did art therapy via Cancer Council and that is what turned my life around. 

There are many options, some people prefer group counselling,  some one on one, others do art, or gardening.  It just depends on what you prefer. 

My best advice to you is to take one step at a time.  It's my 14th year since I was told. I'm still making the most of the time I have. 

Wishing you the best.