Trying to live after been told your going to die

[Scott1]

well here i am 1am monday night have no idea what im doing in 2019 was told had 18months left pat on the back good luck enjoy what time is left so we travelled and enjoy the trips so was ready for death had all things ready to go and mind was great and made up 15 months in some miracle its gone rejoice family and wife kids all happy me im lost i was ready for death now ive got to live and have no idea i just smile for family and put on this lie but im lost no idea how to do that anymore and who do i talk to as even mention im lost its hey your alive you should be grateful no i was set for death i was ready just a old guy looking for somthing but no idea as im a bloke no one cares my vent for a monday 

[LindaG]

Hi Scott, glad this is a place you can put all your feelings out. I haven’t been in your situation so can’t imagine how you are feeling. It must be so hard to not have anyone who can relate to your feelings. I do understand the joy of your family having longer with you. Maybe you feel scared that it’s not true or it might come back? I don’t know. Maybe you can find someone at the Cancer Council to talk to. They are always so lovely. Love and prayers to you. 💕🙏 Linda 

[sch]

Hi @Scott1 

Isn't this the truth.

The 18 months is just a statistical number. It's based on patient numbers before you. Nothing more, nothing less.

This is where you lose hope, but also where you find it again.

In 2019 when you received your prognosis, knowingly or unknowingly, you went through a process and prepared yourself to die.

You said your goodbyes to your wife, family and loved ones.

You tidied your affairs, you ticked off the bucket list.

You lost all hope.

But what happens if the best case scenario happens and you live? What now?

Because now that you're alive, you still need to find hope again.

Doctors, surgeons, psychologists and therapists. They've very good at what they do, but they don't seem to be good at preparing you for life again (just the other way around).

Find one thing that you enjoy doing for yourself.

Do it for no other reason than because you enjoy doing it.

Maybe it's as simple as sitting in the sun or sitting on a seat and staring out over the ocean.

Or going for a walk.

Start with just that one thing and then build upon it.

Start at the start, because it makes for a good beginning.

[Michele63]

Good morning, Scott1. It must be difficult for you and it sounds like you can't find someone who truly understands what you are going through.  Hopefully through this forum you can.  I'm in a different situation.  I was diagnosed with a sarcoma in January 2023 and after some radiation treatment and surgery was told that the tumour was all taken out and the margins were clear.  Now I am 'under surveillance' (surgical team's terms not mine) for 8 years. Before I had the radiation and treatment I asked my surgeon 'what if I did nothing?' but didn't receive an answer so I suspect the answer wouldn't have been good.  So I've ended up treating my sarcoma as a nuisance that had to go - perhaps that's denial on my part I don't know. I honestly don't know how I would have gone if my situation was like yours but I appreciated the opportunity to read your post which certainly gave me a lot to think about moving forward.

[drpchiripal]

Care from loved and dear ones and the medical attention of a cancer surgeon are a must for the patient.

[SerapB]

Hi Scott1,

I just read your post. I know it's been a while and I hope you have made some progress in your search. 

I too was told make the most of the good times and thank God I made it. 

I was shocked too but I believe it's about perspective, looking at your situation from another angle. 

I saw a psychologist all through my journey and that helped me alot. I read books, did art therapy via Cancer Council and that is what turned my life around. 

There are many options, some people prefer group counselling,  some one on one, others do art, or gardening.  It just depends on what you prefer. 

My best advice to you is to take one step at a time.  It's my 14th year since I was told. I'm still making the most of the time I have. 

Wishing you the best. 

[MarkB]

Hey Scott! It’s understandable to feel lost after facing something as profound as you have. Sometimes, when you prepare yourself for an end and it doesn’t come, adjusting to a new perspective on life can be incredibly challenging. It’s okay to feel confused and unsure about what comes next. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to give yourself permission to explore them.

Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide support and guidance as you navigate this unexpected phase of life. They can help you work through these emotions and find a new sense of purpose. It’s also worth talking to others who have faced similar experiences—they might offer perspectives and advice that resonate with you.

Remember, it's okay to not have all the answers right now. Sometimes, finding meaning and direction takes time, and it's a process. You're not alone in this, and it's okay to seek help and support along the way.

Reminder: Choose only reliable pharmacies to get the necessary medicines of the best quality, the result of your treatment depends on it

[SerapB]

Hi Scott,

I was in your shoes eleven years ago. It's quite a journey working out what's next! 

During my journey I started doing art therapy which helped me to quieten my mind and I found out I had creative talents! Such a surprise! 

I had to find ways to get back into living mode. So I researched activities that I had always wanted to do, ticked off a few more things from my bucket list. 

I had a qualification in Life Coaching so I registered my business! I started doing small contract jobs. 

Then did a couple of  short courses. I was preparing myself to get a job by starting temp work. In the meantime I did gardening,  read, exercised, rested and took charge of continuing my good health.

It's all about changing your perspective from one to the other. From dieing to living,  I'm not saying it's easy and a quick fix, it's not. 

My advice to you make a list of things you want to do, journal - it helps with mental health and take one day at a time. Breathe. 

Please reach out if you would like to chat.

Sending you good vibes for a good life 😊

[Maddi_CCNSW]

Hi Scott, it looks like you've received some great advice from your post.  I agree with some of the others it might be worth looking for some psychological support.  If you're in Australia, you can contact the Cancer Council; 13 11 20.  If your outside of Australia, look for organizations who provide support for people who have been impacted by cancer, or speak to your GP.  

I hope you get the support you need to get you through this period.