HOW DO I FORGIVE????

[AmandaC]

Thanks nikki for your reply, its good to get it out I have to say pasrt of the healing is just being herd. So I can now tick it off the list 🙂

[lizyole]

my heart goes out to all of you , such sad stories Amanda and Sham your parents and MIL are so missing out on all the good things with the children,and the family unbelieveable. Sally, what can I say OMG!!!!!!! what is going threw these peoples minds, I am speechless I cannot beleive a grandparent could do that.You just stay strong for you and the children, I do think it is something to do with that era my MIL we would be lucky to see once a year, we will here from her for birthdays but that is it, I feel so sad for my daughter to up until this year she had never stayed at their place,or been asked, and they don't take an intrest in anything she does. Lucky for her she has my mum and dad who are a later model in there 80s the others are in there 60, she has two grand parents who have been there at every milestone in her life, ready to cheer her on, we speek every day they are the most unselfish people in the world and the most caring, I cannot say enoungh about them, all the time I was sick mum and dad were there ready to help, or drive me to an appointment nothing was too much. I am so lucky

[samex]

Amanda and Sham I cannot imagine how much worse the whole situation must be for you. When I was diagnosed my parents (in their 8o's) were the most badly affected. My problem was with, my then 18 year old son, who just didn't want to have anything to do with the problem.Maybe his way of dealing with problems in general - don't know. During treatment, my parents would spend the last 2 hours in the clinic with me and then take me for lunch before I felt too ill to eat. I feel very privileged to have my family and humbled by your stories and feel that in this great karmic universe it will come to pass that you and your children will be stronger and have wonderful resilient and loving children. As for your families, they are the ones missing out on knowing amazing people. Samex

[Loraleeb]

Wow - your husband had cancer at the same time? That must have been an extremely intense time for you. Do you feel it brought you closer? I found the relationship with my partner became extremely strained during treatment and after. I had a look and you can find my book in Australia through: http://www.fishpond.com.au/advanced_search_result.php?author=Lora%20Lee%20Boynton&format=Hardback I hope you get a chance to read it. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my twist to cancer. Love LLx

[AmandaC]

We had cancer a year or so apart not at the same time but yeah it can put strain on the relationship, for us its made us stronger. Its all about working out priorities and for me my marriage was one of them. Thanks for the link to your book in oz.

[#6]

Hi again Samex. You're right, it will make our children more stronger. I used to believe in karma but now I'm not so sure. But I do know that if people don't give, they wont receive. They've missed out on being loved by the kids and I-and we got a lot of love to give!!! Lizoyle, my husband's father passed away late last year and his mum has dementia. It's his brother and sister(mother's power of attorney) who are throwing us out. Some people become blinded by $$$$$$$$$$$$! Here, we all know that money can't buy heath and cash don't buy time. They'll realise this someday.

[AmandaC]

Sallyz I am so sorry to hear you lost your FIL and husband so close together, gosh dimentia is a hard one. My grandad passed away 2 years ago after a long battle with dementia and my FIL passed away a few weeks later unexpectadly amidst treatment for bowel cancer. Believe it or not a few months after that my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer as well. Your BIL and SIL will be still thirsty even when their mum goes, but as you say money doesn't buy time or health and sure won't buy love. It is their loss and your kids won't have feelings for them when they get over themselves and decide to return. My uncle who is power of attorney over my grandparents affairs actually kicked us out of the family house we were looking after, when my son was 4 months old and i was awaiting treatment after my thyroidectomy. I no longer have a place for them in my heart and it is sad but on the plus side my kids have never known them. You have really been through so much in a short space of time, big hugs to you and your family. You seem to have coped very well, what a strong amazing woman you are XX

[#8]

Amanda, Oh my God! I can't believe people could be such arseholes! I thought my darling in-laws were one in a million! I just want to lay in bed for a month and grieve the loss of my husband, the loss of my kids Daddy. Instead my days are spent at the accountant, working (sent back to work by the accountant!), solicitor appointments, all that is involved legally when your partner dies and raising my kids. I'm tired and just want to cry, stuff my face with hot chips, and cry some more. ...I suppose it is what it is. By the way, can you tell me about the expressive writing group please-sounds inticing!

[Loraleeb]

It just dawned on me as I scrolled through our comments how young we all are. Is cancer becoming more common in younger people, or is that a new topic? LLx

[AmandaC]

Loralee looks like you need to post a new blog...that discussion I am sure could go to some interesting places on here. Look forwrd to seeing your post 🙂