Hi - New and very confused

[Highlands_Man]

Hi all; I'm here to try and get answers and perhaps support. My (ex) partner, who is 36, advised me nearly nine years ago that she had breast cancer while pregnant with our son. She chose to get treatment after his birth, which I respected. I now have several issues. I drove her to the hospital regularly for treatment, which seem to last 30 to 40 minutes maximum. I was never allowed to go with her as support. She told me she had radiation and chemo treatment. After the "all clear", a few years later she had a relapse. See above re my support. after this, she fell pregnant with our daughter who is now two. My confusion? Comes down to: Sterility issues, the effects on the body, etc. Can I also add, she told various people that she had a double mastectomy (not true) and also wore a wig when she went out (not with me) due to hair loss (of which there was none). Can anyone tell me are the symptoms and pregnancy chances and illness treatments right? Or, have I, as well as others, been sucked right in?

[sammus]

Wow, so are you saying maybe she was lying? That's really sad & wrong if she was 😞 Only she can tell you the truth. What would make her want to pretend that? If she lied about the mastectomy & wig etc it makes me think that maybe she was?

[Lange]

Wow I know my diagnosis was devastating. Why would anyone want to go down this road. I have to say as someone who fights everyday I take offense if she is lying. The diagnosis of cancer destroys people and their loved ones I really hope the is an explanation.....for you sake. Be strong, know Jesus is with you.

[Highlands_Man]

I keep wondering. For example, I read people's accounts of radiation and chemo. It appears to be longer than 30 - 45 minutes, yet the maximum time it ever took for her was 60 minutes. That includes walking into the hospital and out again (i wasn't allowed to go in with her or pick her up inside the building). hence, there are doubts there. Plus, she asked for $3500 to pay for treatment. I said yes, however, I needed the bill to pay electronically, as well as have a record. She refused, asking for cash only. I didn't pay (and felt very low at the time). I have since found out that the hospital very rarely charges unless it is for a new experimental medicine. Which in turn brings me to another query. Do you need to take medicines at home? i ask this, as she never required any medication at home ( bar 1 or 2 headache tablets). Me being trusting still had doubts as I thought there would need to be medication taken at least daily, not just a once a week treatment.

[Highlands_Man]

I am trying not to say anything, however, it is hard not to think the worst. Thinking about it, it seems she likes playing a "victim" of life, not only in illness but other things. I know she is really the only one who can answer, however, I also know she will never confirm or deny. Hence, I thought I would throw out the question(s)

[sammus]

Sounds very sus to me. My chemotherapy sessions depending on what part of the cycle took hours of sitting around in the hospital & I had chemo & steroid tablets to take daily as well. Complete hair loss, lost A LOT of weight etc. Also I would much rather someone come with me than go alone. Very upsetting to hear that a person would fake/pretend that they have cancer. But I think your on to something. Also never paid a cent, except for the parking. But I had Hodgkins, so dunno what treatment types are like for breast cancer. But everything you have said sounds like someone is lying to me.

[SILLY]

I can only think she has some kind of mental problem where she fantasises or that she deliberately set out to deceive . Perhaps both . .

[JC]

My wife is being treated for breast cancer and there is no way of faking or pretending the effects of chemo. It is a highly aggressive treatment that plays havoc on the body. It has also sent her into early menopause and presented other side effects. Her treatments were 5 or 6 hours at a time and have left her a tired and weaker version of her normal self. She has however not played the victim through all of this ordeal and has wanted me beside her on this journey. It would be sad if anyone chose to fake this disease and an insult to those who have to fight it. I think you can work out for yourself what is going on.

[Highlands_Man]

Thank you for your responses. i believe after reading them, I do now have the truth confirmed, which is both anger inspiring and yet sad at the same time.

[Lange]

Good luck. I mean that. May Jesus watch over you and yours. Lange