I was wondering if anyone could offer up some pointers about how to survive the Christmas holiday period? I am a school teacher and am about to have 5 weeks holidays forced on me.
My tragic diagnosis was given to me on Dec 6th and, to be honest, I think that the only way I have coped so far is that I have still been working. Can't say that I am looking forward to the quiet times and the questions/thoughts/emotions that are going to occur about the time frame I was given and that the only choice is palliative care.
Any advice, greatly appreciated
When my daughter had cancer we had our Christmas celebrations at the Zoo. It provided a lovely distraction and we weren't all sitting at the table trying to pretend everything was the same.
I haven't got any suggestions for the holidays, but maybe go somewhere where no-one knows you both and wont ask questions.
Feeling for you both.mignon
Do you have any hobbies? If you hadn't received this news, what did you have planned for the break? Sometimes it is carrying on with the "normal" that helps you adjust to the "awful". Diagnosis time, is a crazy roller coaster ride... with information overload at times and decisions left, right and centre.
Try to take some time "out" and do peaceful things, such as a walk on the beach, stroll through a park enjoying dappled sunlight. Go and see some movies to make you laugh, visit Art Exhibitions/Museums. Basically do the things you like.
Then investigate and read up on possible treatment plans and "own" the direction life is going. There is no blueprint for a human, you are a unique being, so there is always hope, that it will not be a typical progression.
Although you think you need to stay busy ,you probably do need some quiet time to take it all in .I think the previous suggestions were good. I am a teacher too (not doing it now) and the only time I didn't look forward to holidays was during a difficult time in my life and work was the best thing, so I understand what you are saying.
I hope that you work out what needs to be worked out and that you and your wife can enjoy the holidays.
Thanks everyone. It has been greatly appreciated to read what people have written. My biggest scare is that as I am a very active teacher and dedicate a lot of time to my job, I am going to feel lost during the holiday break.
Think I will sit down with my wife and work out a list of things that we can do (without spending huge amounts of money). Might need to go back to work for a holiday in 2012....... lol
I also have terminal cancer and was a teacher.Make sure you have got your paperwork underway for getting your super out.This will allow you to do some special things with your wife.As I understand you are about to start chemo,so what you can do and when will depend on that.For me, 3 days after chemo, for the next week, I am pretty drained, so don't do much.Make a wish list of things you want to do and do them when it works for you.
Have a Merry Christmas
I guess it depends on the type of cancer and the prognosis. It is life changing though for most I think.
Doing things you normally enjoy, does help, it takes the stress levels down, which helps you cope with the treatments too. Music is great!
I think you do get "used" to your diagnosis, but it takes time, it is a wake up call, though.
There is a balance between living a "normal" life and accepting life has changed, you can never go back to the pre-cancer "blissful ignorance", but it is much better to know (i) there is a battle to win & (ii) what the "enemy" is.
I hope you & your wife, manage to adjust to the news, get information and find some peace over Christmas and summer holiday.
This site is really good for the days when you just want to scream, coz we all remember the "shell shocked" feelings
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