Hi everyone. I'm 46 and had a radical prostatectomy just under 4 weeks ago. I'm still getting erections (not as strong as they were, but strong enough), and my libido has remained strong. Surgeon said we could have non-vigorous sexual activity from yesterday.
We did, but unfortunately, I was unable to orgasm. I got to the point of orgasm, and then... nothing. To be clear, it wasn't about being unable to get to the point of orgasm. It had been nearly a month, and I was chomping at the bit, so that didn't take long at all. I KNEW I was about to orgasm. In fact, I'd reached the point where I couldn't NOT. And then absolutely nothing.
Tried again later through masturbation, and exactly the same thing happened.
I Googled it a bit, and sadly it appears it's quite common. It's called anorgasmia, and most figures say about 30-40% of men experience it after prostate removal. I couldn't find anything on whether it's permanent, but I'll be absolutely devastated if it is.
My questions are, has anyone experienced this? In particular, has anyone experienced it and then had their orgasms return? Is this happening simply because it's so soon after my surgery?
Thanks in advance.
I'm sorry to hear about your surgery and the effect that it has had on your life.
It must be very frustrating.
I haven't had a prostatectomy, but just thought I would message you to let you know that I'd read your message and I have been thinking of you.
How are you coping other wise?
How is your recovery?
Do you need further treatments?
I found some links on the cancer council website.
There's also a link on there to a guide to understanding some more about Prostate Cancer that also describes a little bit more about some of the side effects (a bit late now I guess).
Hi sch. Thanks for your kind reply.
Outside of the orgasm thing, everything's going pretty well. Continence is good, very little pain, I'm very active and mobile, and I don't (yet) need any further treatments. Unfortunately one of my margins was positive, so we have to watch my PSA for a few years. It's possible I'll need a bit of radiotherapy in 2 years to mop up.
Thanks for the Cancer Council link. I hadn't see those pages, but they say the same thing as everything else I've read. In particular, I've read a lot of this: "You will still feel the muscular spasms and pleasure that accompany an orgasm, but you will not ejaculate." So far, that's not the case for me.
Anyway, once again, thanks heaps for your thoughtful reply. Very nice of you. 🙂
Buddy - this is outside my area, so I only have one brief comment.
In any area of sexual health, stress and worry will only make the problem worse, I reckon.
I'd say try to relax and enjoy yourself - the following will only interfere with any potential splash-factor:
- fearful anticipation (worrying about whether you're gonna)
- overly analytical mindset (trying to assess whether you're gonna or why you may not)
I get that it's a physical thing, but outlook might even play a minor but relevant part, I'd suggest relax, try and enjoy yourself, and talk to your physician in about 6 weeks if things haven't improved.
Sorry if that's not helpful, but your comments read as though they are laced with quite a large dose of stress and concern, and inexperienced (and potentially ignorant) instinct tells me, if anything, that will be counter-productive.
Yeah, I agree, sex is a lot about the mind. But this is definitely physical. I was feeling very excited about getting back into it, and not concerned about orgasm at all. Also (thank god!) the missing part of the orgasm now seems to be returning - based on last two orgasms. Not back to full strength yet, but the last one was better than the one before that, so I'm assuming that means it's just a time thing. Phew!
Be part of this supportive community