Setback but my chin is up most of the time

[bravesthuman]

I had a lumpectomy at the beginning of the week as well as 3 nodes removed to help ascertain margins .... then i was discharged the following day. Today i woke up to my breast being rock hard and very painful. As an appointment was scheduled with surgeon today, i saw her and was readmitted immediately as i had developed internal bleeding overnight. As a result 500ml blood was drained with further small cancer specks removed. So 2 ops within 4 days. Im also told that in addition to radiation, (something that I knew previously) that i will need chemo too. 

Things are no longer a hell of a shock to me. I shed tears silently and also in public .... i let people embrace me etc but i know im tired of the needles and feeling overwhelmed and the invasion of my privacy. How much do i crave a somewhat normal life ......

What on earth did i do to have to go through this ? What did we all do ?

[Katekat]

This must all be quite overwhelming for you right now, remember this is a safe space for you to unload and talk to others about your experiences but if you do need to reach out and talk to someone, our 13 11 20 team are available. 

Sending you lots of love @bravesthuman 

[Nicbrown]

Hi braveesthuman,

What a horrible ordeal for you...I feel your pain..my situation was going into surgery knowing that I was having a hysterectomy and leaving one ovary for possible children, however this turned into radical hysterectomy and removal of 30 lympnodes and bowel muscle lining, waking up on morphine to find I now have to have chemo and radiation... As you know, nothing surprises you after being through something like that....

It's amazing how much you learn to deal with things after being through these major hurdles in life...and I fully understand craving a somewhat 'normal life'!  REmember that we're allowed to have bad days... I try and focus on having more good days than bad. I'm glad you have 'chin up' attitude most of the time.. so do I. Keep it up and be determined that you can beat this!