being undersold

[SILLY]

Glenys,I just want to point out that I don't need anything from my son as my cancer is in remission at this time. I was only trying to say that my sons do not feel comfortable discussing my cancer.

[glenys48woods]

I can say Amen to this when people who haven't experience can change over night. How would they respond to that then as they have been underselling us in the meantime. My cousin Steve is coming down from Sydney over easter and will be staying with us for 4 days. he will be playing in the band nationals with his trumpet. Glenuys.0

[maddie86]

i know what you mean, i have lost a lot of friends because of my fiances cancer... they dont understand and i put it down to all my friends being in their young twenties... we are 25 now but nobody still seems to get it.. i have had one friend say 'oh well someone has to get it'... some people are really clueless!

[SILLY]

Maddie,there will come,sadly, a time when they look back and understand.

[glenys48woods]

it's cruel when others don't understand and you lose friends over it. When they are diagnosed who will they come too? When your friend said to you oh well someone had to get it and I agree with you that this is clueless of them to say it. They aren't untouchable with breast cancer which is the cancer that gets to women. it touches the feminine side of you. If you don't have a recontruction as I did it leaves you lop sided, flat, having a shower is emotional. half man half woman, and then not having feelings like this in your life. it's hard to deal with and others who haven't had this type of surgery can throw anything like a spanner in the works and make you so hurt. Remember they aren't untouchable so who will they run to if they need some help? Maybe they will say sorry to you and ask you for help. I feel let down tonight by my husband and son. It seems to me too that you are young person who has had breast cancer so I can say sorry to you as it must be so hard for you. I'm glad that I got breast cancer when I was 61 and beated it. Glenys 0

[glenys48woods]

Hi Silly, it's hard to deal with when you can't chat to anyone especially your family. How old is your son as if he is old enough to empthies with you. If you keep it in it wouldn' be healthy for you. Glenys

[glenys48woods]

Hi Wombat4, How are you all? It is hard to deal with as when you had ever dealt with it in your life. It is unpleasent to deal with it as it touches a woman's feminine side of things. Having breast cancer after a mastectomy it is under your nose. It stands out so much as you feel unattached, lop sided, flat without having a recontruction. When I have a shower it stands out like a soar thumb. if I go through a recontruction this would mean a 8 hour massive op for me. Glenys

[glenys48woods]

You are dead right about their opinions changing over night and where would they turn to if they aren't responding to us as we have had cancer or with a loved one too. It is hell that we go through till they respond to us. Then they'll understand with their experiences. Glenys 0

[wombat4]

They certainly are clueless, Last week I went to a service for a young man, dx with bowel cancer in 2010, it had already spread to lungs and liver. He was on palliative care straight away. He died in feb 2012. age 29. If people think cancer is not for them and they shun people with it, or ridicule them. I say show compassion, you are not exempt. 1 in 2 people will get cancer in AU It can knock on any door. wombat4

[glenys48woods]

hell, poor thing and for him to have bowl cancer at 29 and it shows how people do react towards us if they don't understand or they are so strongly ignorent. It is so mad for them to not turn to us when we have the diagnoses. They would need compassion soon in their lives. Yes it can knock on any door. It's ashame to have them shun or ridicule and not show any compassion. I have a friend whose first wife died of advanced breast cancer and only 39 years old with young kids. His second wife says to me that the night mare is over so this means the surgery is over. She hasn't had any surgery like this but she is a midwife and she has done studies on mastectomies on these types of surgery. Anyone who thinks they can understand without having a diagnoses of breast cancer think they know everything. I have a good result so I haven't got anything to worry about. Colin is the one I must look after she says. Must go to bed as it is after 1am Glenys. 0