To Hell and back

[Richard1]

• We’re to start. It began in Dec 24 when I had to go to the hospital due to the worst stomach/back pain I’ve ever experienced. Waited almost 7 hours to see a doctor, the wait still haunts me. The seconds ticked by slowly, I’m embarrassed to say that I was crying, howling, throwing up and rolling on the cold floor. When they finally wheeled me through, gave me drugs to settle the pain, I thought great, this can only get better. Wrong. I did not expect the doc to come back after taking blood to say ‘You Have Cancer’. Shock and disbelief  WTF. This can’t be happening. Mum was by my side, she was shocked more than me. After that moment everything went by in a whirlwind blur of pain, crying, depression, anger and other emotions I can’t explain. Before the surgery the doc told me I had maybe months left if this went unchecked. What do you do after someone tells you you have less than a year to live??? The surgery was a success, all of it was cut out and so far I’m cancer free. But not out of the woods just yet. Currently going through chemo therapy and working full time. Every day I just want to give up. Feel so emotionally and physically broken all the time. I hate having doctor appointments all the time, I hate having cancer, I hate not being able to play with the kids like I used too, I hate chemotherapy, I hate that I may lose my job and be unemployed because of this f$&6ing sickness, I hate feeling fragile and useless. Is there a light at the end of this tunnel…

[Felicity_CCNSW]

Hi @Richard1 , 

Thank you for sharing your experience with diagnosis. It is such a shock and trauma to receive a cancer diagnosis. It can be helpful to talk about it, and share your experience with others. 

Please know that you can call our information and support line and speak to a health professional at Cancer Council on 13 11 20. 

Here is also a helpful fact sheet on emotions and cancer. 

Perhaps others would like to share their experience with diagnosis?

Warmly, 

Felicity

Cancer Council Online Moderator