I appreciate you for being open and revealing such a genuine part of your experience. What you have been through is beyond belief, and it's completely understandable to feel broken, frustrated, and overwhelmed. You have encountered something truly frightening, yet continue to stand strong and engage with life, even as you go through treatment and work. That shows remarkable strength, no matter how you may feel about it at this moment. Remember, you are not alone in this. There is a light ahead, perhaps dim today, but it still exists. Healing requires patience, and feeling tired is perfectly fine. Be kind to yourself. You're doing more than enough just by making it through each day.
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