Was diagnosed 5 months ago Kidney Cancer

Crewzin22
Occasional Contributor

Re: Was diagnosed 5 months ago Kidney Cancer

Its definitely the massive build up of patients and the hospital staff numbers being low, we hear this on the news all the time, its just unfortunate that my timing coincides with all this. 

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LindaG
Regular Contributor

Re: Was diagnosed 5 months ago Kidney Cancer

Hi John, AlfHam gives great advice!! Yes you can get through the next two weeks.  It’s so good you have shared with your wife your true feelings. You don’t ever have to pretend that you’re ok with your wife. She’ll be the one standing by you through this. A cancer diagnosis does all sorts of things to our minds because of the fear. I got horrible anxiety and panic attacks that I had no control over. It only stopped when treatment started.  Talk to the cancer council people if you need to. They are great and might be able to tell you more about what to expect. 🙏💕 Linda 

Crewzin22
Occasional Contributor

Re: Was diagnosed 5 months ago Kidney Cancer

Big time plays with your mind Linda, it's incredible tbh, I haven't been to work since Tuesday, I work afternoon shift and on Monday when I went in to work I wasn't myself and I just felt depressed and didn't want to be there, called in sick on Tuesday and Wednesday to try to gather my thoughts, spoke to my wife about what I needed to tell her and then we went out for dinner the 3 of us. The depressed state I get in is ugly and all I think about is wanting to be home with my girls, they are like my safe zone that's how I feel and as much as I need to go to work and pay bills I really have to push myself to go to work not like before I'd have no drama to go to work. Ever since this diagnosis it's changed me changed my way of thinking and how emotional I am now and to top it off I get in to a depressive state and anxiety and what ever else.
Thankyou Linda 🙏
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AlfHam
Contributor

Re: Was diagnosed 5 months ago Kidney Cancer

Hi @Crewzin22 

 

It's fantastic that you and your wife have spoken more about your situation now. It's surprising how the people who know us the best maybe don't realise whats going on inside and they can't help you until you communicate. I had this after my surgery. My wife assumed I'd be selling the house, travelling the world, go skydiving (joking!) etc. She was all set for doing that, Actually no, I just want to get back to taking life each day as it comes. I'm genuinely grateful for each day because if I hadn't been so lucky to be diagnosed early, who knows how few I would have had. I feel that making huge plans for far off in the future is temping fate and puts pressure on me (to be alive!) She couldn't understand that I was just happy to pick up my normal life and quietly move on. That caused tension between us. And you can only address that by communicating. I'm getting better at making plans, but I'm still a tiny bit relieved to wake up every morning.

 

Maybe ease off on alcohol. It'll make you feel worse short term, lower your mood and you make less good decisions in that situation. I'm not saying you need to give up if you don't want to. My Surgeon's advice on alcohol pre and post op was that he had no specific advice. Don't overindulge, follow standard guidelines, it isn't any worse from a medical perspective that you are drinking more booze now you have cancer than if you didn't have cancer.

 

Going back to what I said before about your mental state...if you can't change the wait time, can you change how you feel about the wait time. Here's a question...you are going to have major surgery hopefully in the next month or so. That will be a good thing. But it's going to hit you hard physically and mentally. You know it's happening. Is there anything you can do now that help you at that point? Think about that for a minute....

 

Some people get a diagnosis and are rushed to surgery. They can't prepare. You have an opportunity right now. Might not feel like one a lot of the time, but you do. Can you get yourself any healthier? Quit smoking, lose a little weight, gain a little muscle, eat a bit healthier, drink a bit less alcohol, sleep a bit more regularly, etc? Spend some happy times with your family? All of those and more will help you now...and help you after your surgery. The surgery is significant and it takes a bit of time to recover...I had a small complication, nothing life threatening, but it did set me back a bit physically. You can do things now to help your future self. You don't need to go on a crash diet or an intensive training camp...what small changes can you make? you'll feel better for it mentally and physically.

 

If you take steps now to help your post op self you might be less hard on yourself. The other thing I had to learn to do was not ask how this happened. I'll never know for sure and at the end of the day, I can't do anything about the past. I can do things to help myself going forward. Keep up the persistence with appointments. Ask for help...nobody is prepared for cancer, but there are others who have walked this path and come out the far side...and lots of people and resources that were there to help them on the journey.

 

Don't get me wrong, me and the wife got drunk the day I was diagnosed (out of the blue.) Very drunk. There are also several studies that say a moderate intake of alcohol reduces your risk of contracting kidney cancer (this is true!) so please don't think I am chastising anyone for drinking. Get it out of your system and start thinking that the start of your recovery from future surgery is now. You'll feel less helpless right now and you will benefit yourself. Try and make the wait time as beneficial as it can possibly be.

 

Liz73
New Contributor

Re: Was diagnosed 5 months ago Kidney Cancer

Hi John. I'm Liz and my biopsy was positive to right kidney  cancer on October 27th 2023. I had a laparoscopy for full kidney removal last Tuesday, 19th Dec. I was operated on as a public patient at Canberra Hospital. My operation was rescheduled from 21/11/23 and 28/11/23. The only bill I had to pay was for the biopsy, minus the Medicare rebate. I receive a part aged pension. Can Assist will pay all bills for me from diagnosis onward. They also give fuel vouchers. The xray was before I found out about Can Assist. Prescriptions are automatically billed to them by the pharmacy.  As I live more than 100kms from Canberra Hospital, I am eligible for Government accommodation and travel assistance.

I don't understand why your op is taking so long. Mine was a full nepherectomy.

Hoping things get better for you. The specialist did say that kidney cancers are slow growing.

 

 

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