Good morning. Everything is kinda back to normal. Got a colonoscopy on the 16 Jan for a final check up and whatever happens after that. Sometimes I forget I went through hell and back, a good sign I moving forward. Doctors said it would take a year to recover fully and they were right, it’s almost been 12 months since I found out I was going to die. Crazy. I hope your doing well on this beautiful sunny day, thank you for everything again my fellow warrior. 👍❤️💪 ... View more

Thanks Felicity for your support and also this forum. Being open with my thoughts has helped clear my mind. I will continue to work and play. I know some days will be better than others but I will never give up. ... View more

It’s been a long painful, stressful, scary journey. So many times I wanted to give up, but somehow kept pushing through. Everything else now seems obsolete, if I can beat cancer I can beat anything. Much love and respect to you Isadora for reading my story, venting my thoughts has helped. 👍❤️👍❤️👍❤️ ... View more

Update. I got my scan results back, talked to my oncologist and surgeon and it’s all clear. They got it all and my chemo treatment worked. In January 26 I have a colonoscopy, regular check ups, just not as frequent. Touch wood but it looks like I’ve beat this monster. 💪💪💪 ... View more

I know the feeling, back in dec 24 I got diagnosed with stage 2 bowel cancer, mine seems insufficient compared to yours. Everything after that day has sucked. Being sick is one thing, but being sick and dealing with life’s daily problems is hard. Looking back it was easier to just lay in the hospital bed and rest and be looked after rather than go to work, pay bills, do house work and pretend everything was okay. So sorry that your mum passed, it’s seems that life always kick you in the guts when your down. Try to stay strong, vent your thoughts here and don’t be ashamed to cry.  ... View more

In my spare time I rest. I used to run, bike ride, hike, now I need a lot more rest to recover from work. I used to feel guilty about just sitting down and doing nothing but I realise now my body is not as strong as before. Mostly I read after I get the house work done, or lie in bed and watch you tube videos on my iPad until I fall asleep. Play and walk with my dog weather pending, it’s been non stop rain for the last week so I just chase her inside or play fetch. And that’s about it. Not very exciting life, but it’s all I can do. I have to start a list like you, just to keep focused on what’s important and what’s not. Didn’t think life would turn out like this, it’s depressing but I have to learn to accept it. After work I have dinner with my mom and than  we watch tv together, see has helped me so much and I would be lost without her. Another cold rainy day, doesn’t help my mental state but I will push through the working day, come home rest and do it all over again. Ground hog day… ... View more

Hi Erin, if my mental health gets worse I will seek help. I think I’m borderline at the moment, could get better or worse. It’s almost been a year since my cancer diagnosis, I will see my doctors in 2 weeks for a check up and further appointments and a colonoscopy. Not having the same strength is challenging, it’s something that I just have to accept. Working and living through this is exhausting, but I will keep going as long as I can. ... View more

I’m not really a therapy person. I’ve always dealt with problems in my own way. If it does get to much it’s nice to have that option. The stress of life sucks, got a rash on my face from worrying all the time. Todays a new day, rained all night and my dog slept in my bed again last night. I always think worst case scenario but today I’ll try and be positive. How is everything going with your health and life? ... View more

Hi, still here and struggling. I used to be really active but now I have no motivation. My back and knees hurt all the time and I’ve got a rash on my face that won’t go away, I think it’s from stress. Still waiting on results, see the doctors in 2 weeks. I’m in a deep state of depression and anxiety, the last 2 weeks have been bad. I hate my job but need the pay, some unexpected bills and house maintenance are stressing me out. It’s difficult to play with the kids, I try to put on a brave face but my mind won’t stop worrying. I just need to suck it up for another year, get through this bad journey and move forward. I’m not suicidal but I sometimes think in that direction. I see no way out. Like you I was a anxious child, then teenager, then adult. I can’t remember the last time I was happy, or looking forward to something. Don’t worry about me, it helps to vent this negative energy out of my system sometimes. My dog slept in my bed last night, I think she could tell something was wrong so she snuggled next to me all night, it was comforting. That’s my latest update, I’m of to work now, hopefully it will be a good day. God bless… ... View more

Another day. I can’t get the overwhelming feeling of worrying to stop. Physically I feel okay, very tired and sore but okay. Mentally it’s difficult, I know I should seek some kind of help, I’ve been on antidepressants before and hated it. Feel trapped and afraid. Can’t stay focused on anything and that feeling of joy and happiness is gone. Replaced with doubt and fear. I guess this is life now. Life used to be a fun challenge, moving forward and being useful. Just when I start to feel okay a wave crashes over me and I can’t breathe, sleeping is my only escape. What’s the point of anything. My mind is now hard wired to worry over everything, and I shatter to pieces when something unexpected happens, big or small. I don’t have the strength any more, sometimes it’s easier to not care and give up and that scares me. It’s not even the cancer that’s the problem anymore, it’s everything else. The cancer has highlighted how horrible my life is and how I’ve wasted it. Looking back it was easier to lay in the hospital bed before and after surgery than face the real world. To be looked after rather than looking after myself. Well, that’s my point of view for the day, maybe it will get better…   ... View more