Hello Sheryl15,   You outlined alot in your post. And I can feel your pain and panic. Having been diagnosed myself with cancer, I can categorically say that the only person who can give you any answers or advice moving forward is the Oncologist. And your Husband has to go to that appointment to know the next steps for themselves and you too. Hopefully they can provide you with answers to any questions you have. Write them down to ask and then write the answers down as you have the questions answered. It is okay to be scared. But knowledge will be power.   Please also try to look after yourself through all this. You need support too.   Take care, Milo01 ... View more

Dear Kristine,    I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis and completely understand your concerns and anxiety. They are really valid and reasonable.   There are 4 quick things I can think of that may help you even right now. 1# Through your GP, they maybe able to link you to a Psychologist through Medicare. And telehealth maybe an option. It is 10 sessions per calendar year. 4-6 sessions at first. A review with a GP , and then a further 4 sessions maybe offered. 2# Ring the Cancer Council number now and see if they can essentially do an intake call with you and link you to services like counselling. There can be a small wait in the beginning. But you can take the steps now. 3# See if your Medical Oncology Clinic nurse or doctor can link you to a specific Breast Cancer organisation that can provide you with support you may need. These can be invaluable to be able to discuss and talk with nurses and professionally trained staff with experience in Breast Cancer. And you never know what services are available until you talk to someone. You may also be able to contact ones in Australia yourself and see what they can offer too. 4#Gather My Crew app. It is an app that maybe able to help you organise with family,friends,even colleagues that can help you with your son and yourself during your times that may be taxing or you are feeling ill. I was introduced to this app during my intake at my first chemotherapy appointment.   The best advice I can offer is to start saying “yes”, instead of the instinctive “no”, when people offer if they can help you. You don’t have to be incapacitated to say yes. Little jobs here and there can be tremendously helpful. And if you are a very independent person, see if services like grocery delivery will work for you. You can still be in control,but have it delivered right to you. I can also tell you to write all your questions down and ask all of them to the people who will have the right answers, so you have the answers to your anxiety. And know that some answers will be offered in the beginning, but others will have to come with time. Everyone will have a slightly different experience to you and it can be hard to find someone who matches your every step or move that you will take.   You are not a burden ever. You are a person with needs. And that is completely normal. I am an super organised person who wanted my surgery and then chemotherapy to be all organised before I started. From start to end. Many weeks at a time. But I found out, realistically that isn’t possible. Life will happen along the way and you will have to deal with it at the same time.  I had so many questions. I still do. So I ask them. This is my first time navigating cancer and treatment. So I ask the people that I believe will know the answers to those specific questions. And I write then down next to my printed questions,so I won’t forget them when I leave my appointments. But you can be practical and start planning what is possible to organise, well before your treatments begins. Like if friends or family can drive you to appointments or who can look after your child when you are at your appointments. Can you batch cook some meals and freeze them. Do you have a set up for paying your bills already? Do you have close friends who can and are open to talking to you during your chemotherapy, so someone knows you are okay? Just streamlining some of your daily or weekly processes into more efficient ones, can be very helpful when you have fatigue or a foggy mind.   You are not inadequate. Not at all. Overwhelmed, yes. But you are so much stronger then you realise and will continue to see that as you move forward with your treatment plan.    I wish you well going forward. And ask any questions and if there are answers,hopefully someone can share them with you.   Milo01 ... View more

Hello again Troyc76,    I am sorry you got the news you didn’t want. Having the next step is good. The limbo can stop and you now have a direction for your mind. Please know that everyone’s chemotherapy regime is different and it may be hard to find someone with the exact same as yours to talk about online. But if you have any worries or concerns that maybe able to be answered in a common sense way, please ask. Meaning,if you need medical advice,ask the doctors and nurses. But if you want any practical tips, the community can help with their own experience. My experience in the/my Chemotherapy Day Unit with the staff has been very positive my entire chemotherapy time. The staff are very experienced and can be trusted. They are also extremely kind. You have already been fighting,now you will be doing it physically. l am cheering for you and sincerely hope that your plans work out in the direction that you have planned. Milo01 ... View more

Hi Troyc76 again,   Thank you for your kind reply. I am glad you are being proactive for yourself.   It is a small consolation, but I think the person diagnosed, always deals with it much better then they think they will or other people around them might. There is a strength in all of us that we didn’t know was there. Can’t possibly think is there. Until we need it. Then we seem to call on it in our time of need or distress. We are just much stronger than we ever thought.   And you already have a fire inside of you to keep moving forward. I truly admire that. Still cheering for you.   Milo01 ... View more

Thank you Adriana_CCNSW.   I did call the Cancer Council and Beyond Blue to talk and both services were so kind.   Today I had to do a blood test at hospital and it didn’t go as bad as I expected it too. So that has somewhat lifted my confidence about my chemotherapy next week.   Milo01 ... View more

Dear KitKat5,    I saw your post and thought I would reply.  I am not in your situation,so I can’t comment on your questions. However I can suggest that you write them down in a notebook and take them with you to any of you post surgery reviews etc. or any other appointments to do with your current situation. You will most likely have a multi-disciplinary team who review your results and will know the next steps for you. They may have also linked you in with a surgery nurse before your surgery, who maybe able to answer questions or progress them onto someone who might and has access to your medical records. Mine was called a Clinical Nurse Consultant on the Surgery Ward. I also don’t know if you have been linked into any breast cancer services, who maybe able to talk to you further about specific concerns. The internet may not be helpful or accurate without all the medical records associated with yourself. And you may need to wait until you can have an appointment with someone who does. And that is such an awful feeling to have to wait. Please always know that you have a right to ask as many questions as you need at appointments, even if you feel you are being rushed and jotting down answers as you go can help to remember all the answers given to you, later on after, when your mind may not be so bombarded with information. Or having someone with you who can do it for you as you are engaged in your appointments with the doctor.   The best thing someone told me was “This is their jobs(Doctors or medical staff). They do their jobs everyday of the week. But this is MY first time navigating this. So take all the time that you need, to ask all the questions you need answered about your own health.”   And I am sure more questions will keep coming up, so keep writing them down too. I wish you the best in your recovery from surgery and hope you can get some answers soon.   Milo01   I am sorry I couldn’t be of more help. ... View more

Dear Troyc76,    I am sorry you didn’t receive the news you were hoping for. All I can offer to you in this time is to try and take it one step at a time. For me, I just needed to know the next step. Trying to go three steps ahead wasn’t possible,as I didn’t know what they were yet. I couldn’t organise anything or try to prepare myself for everything. Just the next step that I knew about. It is hard to not imagine all the scenarios and to zero in on the worst. It is good to have mentally prepared yourself for all things as to not be shocked if you hear those words. But you also need to be able to have moments where your mind can just be quiet. And still live the daily life that is required before you get a diagnosis or confirmation. Our minds can only deal with a certain capacity before they shut off to protect itself. And until the words are actually spoken to you, try not to react to them just yet. Harder then it sounds. Waiting is so hard. But it can be emotional energy that can be used elsewhere,  until you have been specifically told what is happening. But I can completely understand why your mind would be going there. And all your thoughts and feelings are very valid. I agree, that even though very much unwanted, in a way it is better to know what is happening than not at all. But you sound very positive about wanting to fight and have gratitude for everyday. I am cheering you on. Please take care of yourself now and going forward.   These are my opinions or views. I hope I haven’t upset you with any of them. That is not my intentions. I just wanted to reply back and let you know that you aren’t alone. Milo01 ... View more

Hello TomJ,    I read your post and liked your descriptions of your shirts, even if I couldn’t see them. Fierce is what word first comes to mind, to read the words as they are written or their meanings.    I too have treatment clothes and change when I get home. Though, mine are not as interesting as yours. At all. But I do like that you are getting a custom shirt made for this year. My thing however is natural gemstone beaded bracelets. There are 3 and they each represent my beloved pets by their colours. So they are there with me through my treatments, right on my wrist. I gain a certain strength from that. Or feel less isolated.   2026 has begun and I wish you well already.   Thank you for your engaging post, Milo01 ... View more

Dear All,   It is January already and I am on my 2nd week of my 2nd cycle. I can now answer more of the questions I first asked and give some more insight. This covers head hair, but also body hair too. I think the focus is on head hair, but other hair loss can be overlooked at the beginning, but more information is wanted when you realise the other hair loss involved.    I believe it is important to know you may notice other body hair loss before your head hair. By the start of my 3rd week of chemotherapy I started to lose my hair. However I lost it from my pubic area first. That shocked me. It was just there in my underwear. It came out easily in the shower, no resistance or pain. Over 3 days it pretty much went .But not all of it has gone as of yet. There is still a sprinkling of hair in areas. But I may still lose that in my next two cycles. I thought this was most shocking, as I thought it was hardy hair and would be the last to go. But I never asked this question to begin with.   On to my head hair: On the Monday of the third week of my chemotherapy ,  I ran my hand through my hair in the shower and more strands came out then normal. I did it gently a second time and a clump came out. I came out of the shower and cried. I think that is a pretty normal response. Tuesday it amped up and multiple strands appeared on my collar of my shirt by themselves. I’d clean it up and it would be back pretty quickly. The shower that night, hair didn’t stop coming off my head in my hands. Wednesday I had a Medical Oncologist appointment and asked them when I should shave my head. Because I just didn’t know that answer and it was causing me anxiety. Their answer was within a week. Thursday my hair was all over me. My clothes during the day and my shower that night, the drain cover was full of hair. My showers that week had now taken 3 times longer than usual. The shower and cleaning it up after, trying to get the hair to stop shedding after the shower and drying myself , and then vacuuming the floor to get all the various body hair off the floor. I walked out of the bathroom on Thursday night and asked my relative to shave my head the next day. Thursday night I gently rubbed my underarm hair and it came out cleanly, without pain or resistance. I had noticed it had stopped growing. I hadn’t needed to shave for days now.   Friday morning I had my relative shave my head with a professional electric shaver. There are pretty much two rules.1#Don’t shave it to the skin with a razor to avoid cutting yourself, getting an infection or ingrown hairs. 2# Use a guard on an electric shaver for these reasons too. I got a #2 in the end. And the hair still feel out in the volumes it was,but now in 1cm lengths. I shaved it outside,so there were no mirrors I had to look into whilst it was happening. In my showers, the head hair now just washes down the plug hole. It was so much better.   It was a massive difference. Hair to a shaved head. But by Friday morning, I was just so over constantly cleaning up my hair, having to roll it up or ball it up and put it in the bin. It was more stressful to have to constantly confront this, then shave it. And wearing a soft cap/beanie overnight did nothing for me,to catch falling hair.   I haven’t finished chemotherapy yet and I doubt I have finished my hair loss journey either. My head hair is still there,but incredibly thinned out. I do expect when week 3 of this cycle comes around,to notice more hair loss and again in my next cycle. I have been informed my regime will mean hair loss throughout the entirety.   My leg hair is still there,so are my eyebrows and eyelashes (though I have learnt those two near the eyes do take more time to depart). But like I said, I do expect more hair loss through my chemotherapy.   However I’d like to say, not feeling well and being hot and summer, I have quickly shaken off the worries I have about societal norms. I don’t wear a beanie if it makes me feel physically better, just so it doesn’t make anyone else uncomfortable. If I am hot, I don’t cover up my head. I simply don’t care anymore. It is not my problem to be treated for cancer and have these things happening to my body. I need to focus on looking after myself rather than being embarrassed by something I shouldn’t be.    I am also coping with the hair loss a lot better than I believed I was going too. This type of strength comes with time and experience. And I believe you will be a lot stronger than you believe you are now.   Here are a few last tips I have learned: (But please do your own research or follow your health professionals advice) 1#Do protect your head in the direct sunlight. Sunhat. Cotton is comfy. 2#You can use a baby shampoo on your head and scalp whilst your hair is departing. QV doesn’t sting for me. Have not tried any others. 3#Cold caps are an option for hair loss, but due to not having scientific backing, your public health system may not provide them for your treatment. You may need to track one down yourself. 4# Don’t pick at any lumps or ingrowns. Infections can happen. And that is full body. It is not a good idea to intentionally pull out hair, no matter how you are feeling about it. Body shaving should be taken into consideration with hair loss. This is because some hair follicles can still grow as others are being killed off, even in the same area. If you shave, the still growing hairs can get trapped under the skin as they eventually stop growing aswell. This causes ingrowns because they never break the surface of the skin. So a delicate balancing act. 5# Bamboo material has been the softest material for me. Breathable too. 6# Seamless caps/beanies/wraps don’t hurt against my sensitive or sore scalp as hair falls out. The first soft cap I wore had seams and it was agony against my scalp. 7# It may take you a few days for your head to get used to having a shaved head and the folds of your scalp doing it’s thing when you lay down. It can hurt. You are not used to it.    I hope this is helpful for those reading and trying to figure out their own way. Thanks, Milo01 ... View more