Well I spent half of Saturday in the emergency dept. Started off with a nice little trip by ambulance, lovely guys they are. I had pain all night and took alot of drugs early in the night to try to dull it. even Endone was not doing the job. Finally got some sleep around 1.30am. Then about 6am woke with more really bad pain(about 7-8 on the Richter scale). They gave me quite a bit of Fentinel(spelling?) on the way in and that was really good stuff :) All this pain is in the Liver area and that really concerns me as that is where my secondaries are. Have to go in Monday for ultra sound in that area. (radiologist not available on weekends unless extreme emergency) Pain is still there,but being controlled by 4 hourly Endone tablets. I am pain free if I don't move around too much. All the blood tests and liver function tests were all okay. Could be something to do with gall bladder too. Will find out Monday. I hate it when things go wrong on the weekends and services are not available. Thats Murphy's Law. Ha. So on today's list of things to do. Sit in bed and read lots.. LOL. My hubby had to work today so a quiet arvo in store. The weather is overcast and raining at this very moment so good day for inside. Well at least its better this weekend than next one. @Jules2 The pizza was with the lot. Anchovies, salami, Olives, mushrooms and everything else.. Hhahahahahaha, with this pain maybe I should have skipped the Pizza.. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Vicki ... View more

My daughter went home interstate today. I cant believe the incredible feelings of sadness that have overwhelmed me this afternoon. I cry at the drop of a hat. I miss her already. this is not a normal reaction. Although I did feel a bit over emotional earlier in the week as well. I think I have just had enough of the chemo. fingernails are starting to look ridgey (is that a word) and red also. You know the main thoughts that come up. Could I have done more with her, spent more time, talked to her more. She was here for 3 1/2 days and was doing alot of wedding stuff. But I did get to spend alot of time and talk to her alot. But could I have done more. Did I live for the moment as much as I could. She wont be here for Christmas. I wont get to see her again until the week before her wedding in March. I do talk to her on the phone nearly every day. The week just seemed to go so quickly. It certainly puts it into reality that everything passes and we must take what we can from each moment that comes to us. Its remembering this while we are in the moment that is important, not afterwards. On the positive side, she was here for a while, and my son and his wife are coming home for Christmas. This time from Cairns. mmmmmm maybe I need more Pizza. There's leftovers :) Thanks for listening. Cheers Vicki ... View more

I have 2 weeks to go with chemo. yahoooooooooooo...... I finish on 30th December. Not quite in time for Christmas but certainly in time for New Year. PICC line comes out and I will be free to a certain point for new year. The tumours have not gone away completely and probably never will, but they are shrinking. So it should be contained for a while. I think they were a little surprised at how well I am going at this stage. Fingers crossed it will go even better in the January scans. I have another scan on 6th January and see the oncologist again on 13th January. After this they will scan me every 2 months and monitor it. Hopefully I get alot of time off chemo so I can get some energy back. Has anyone else finished a session of chemo knowing the cancer is still there. and then just be monitored. It feels a little strange, the idea that I still have cancer in me but no more treatment, just monitoring. They have not given up on me, just have to give the body a break from the chemo. I have been doing this 5 months already. Seems like a lifetime ago this all started. Radiation in Melbourne, then a week off and then chemo in local hospital full on for 24/7 for 5 months. I am wondering if this last 2 weeks will drag or not. Have a fair bit on in the next 2 weeks. So hopefully not. Cheers Vicki ... View more

Well I am still going with the 365 day project. I haven't missed a day yet although some days I have got to the end of the day and remember I haven't done the photo. I have had my daughter home from interstate this week. She is getting married here in March so the week has been full on with wedding arrangements and finalising bookings on some of the things for the day. I have been up and down abit this week so poor Catherine has had to do most of it. And they keep telling me not to stress about, and to take care of myself. But its so hard and frustrating (and upsetting ) some days when you want to do things and the body doesn't want to respond. It gave good opportunity for some photos for the diary. Day 8 was sitting in chemo. Day 9 was also sitting in chemo but looking out from my view point. Day 11 was my very sad saggy plant that had been hidden in the corner behind the Christmas tree. I am happy to report it came good with some water. Day 13 is my daughter arriving in the taxi from the airport. Day 14 and 15 were to do with wedding prep and today Day 16 is Pizza. I know its sad and not healthy, but we had pizza for tea. So it goes in the book. Mind you we did lots of other things today as well. LOL Cheers Vicki ... View more