I am so sorry to read about your mum's experience. I have no experience with where this occurred but had the impression from somewhere that it is a top cancer treatment place. It is surprising that no MRI was done beforehand or some other testing. What kind of cancer is it that surgery and radiation makes it more aggressive?If it is at the stage where treatment and /or care is palliative ,does that mean it was fairly advanced even before surgery took place? This must have been devastating for your mum. And for you. ... View more

So well said ,Wombat. I think what you wrote ,Smiley, could have been the same if you had been the one with the cancer. ... View more

It's hard to reply to this as you didn't say what went wrong . I hope things are better now. ... View more

Good to see your husband doing well,considering .Why do you feel like a fake? ... View more

Yes ,people go through the stages of grief at a different pace and deal with these in their own way. I knew a man who never disposed of any of his wife's belongings and even her clothes were still there 18 years later ,when he died. I knew a lady who came to work the day after her daughter died .(Her daughter was 35 years old and married). I know an older lady who has cried every day since her husband of 55 years died last year. I have no idea how I will deal with it if my husband dies before me. To me none of it is the wrong way . I suppose there comes a time when some need help but most find that by being involved with friends or family.My husband doesn't want me to die before him as he thinks I would cope better than he. ... View more

Firstly ,I have not been through what you're going through. My suggestion is to try to stay in the present,not dwelling on the future ,nor the past. I realise this is all too easy to say so I'm only saying to try. Treasure the good times and share some happy moments that you'll be able to look back on . Take one day at a time. ... View more

I found the same when I had radiation(IMRT) where I thought we don't have to get up and travel to the hospital daily. The treatment itself was ok. I even missed it when it was over,mainly because the staff were so lovely. I didn't chat to others as my husband was there to talk to .Occasionally he chatted to one man we saw a few times so I joined in a little. Mostly the waiting time was short as not many used the same machine as me. ... View more

Only a few of my family members really talked to me about my cancer,diagnosed just over 2 years ago.Some have not said one word and some only once spoke to me about it very briefly. I was a little hurt for a while but now I think that maybe they don't realise I'd like them to say something. I'm 90% over the hurt now as I have here and I also belong to a group online ,specifically for people with my cancer. Glenys,try to talk to those who want to listen and your hurt may lessen. Sometimes others assume that once you've had treatment it's over. We know it's not but they don't . Also they have their own lives and problems and perhaps don't want to take on the worries of others. It is the way some people live. ... View more

I'm well and pretty happy thanks .I hope you will be able to say that later. ... View more

I think it is natural to feel anger when someone very close to us dies,whether from cancer or some other means and more so if you think they should 've had many years yet to live . I felt that way at my dad's funeral and mostly because I felt it was wrong that my mum was widowed with children. The anger soon passed and then there was sadness,later a sad acceptance .The acceptance took many years but the sadness never really went away.I did learn to live with it. ... View more