February 2012
Hi Newbie,
No not liver cancer, it was colorectal cancer as a primary that set up secondaries in her liver and started to spread from there.They would not operate on the secondaries as the largest one 118mm was wrapped around the main artery, and they will not consider a liver transplant if the cancer is also outside the liver. She did the national screening test for bowel cancer that came back clear the previous year to the dx, when she was dx, it was so advanced, she must have had the primary at the time of the screen, must have been a faulty batch. It cost her, her life and me, I lost my best mate of 40 yrs
The end came when her liver could not function properly, and the fluid retention was a result of that.
Good Luck.
wombat4
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February 2012
Hi Alison,
Going back to work is a good positive step, and its good to talk to your dad,Im sure he is looking down upon you. I talk to my wife during the day and ask for advice, tell her funny stories, etc, and I find it does help.
Here is hoping its nothing to worry about with your mum.
wombat4
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February 2012
Well Maggie,
There dosnt seem to be an answer to "why", best I can come up with is " it is ". This disease if it is ourselves or even worse a loved one, dosnt even have the courtesy to knock on our doors, it kicks them in and takes over our lives.
I used to shut and lock our gate at night, and say to my wife " that will keep the b....tds out", I realised to my horror later that the b....tds were already with us and I was locking them in.
Good luck with the recovery and return to work.
Wombat4
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February 2012
Its really good that your mum is well, and that she has gone past sept 2011.
Nobody asks to go on this journey, something touches us and we are in it through no fault of our own, thats the sufferer, carers and families.
My wife would tell people she had cancer, if they asked, but I was the only one to know how advanced it was, because I was at all appointments with her and read all the blood tests and scan reports.
She went into hospital on a friday because of fluid retention,( liver failure )and died early the next wednesday, and boy was it a surprise to everyone, even her mother did not know how serious it really was, the most common thing said was "I did not know she was so ill".
So what I am saying is the more honest and upfront this all is, makes the journey a bit easier for those that are left behind.Secrecy for whatever motives is not good. In the long run it can make thigs worse
The uncertainty of whats going to happen and when is a nightmare,it used to get into all of my thoughts.
This cancer business sucks.
Good luck
wombat4
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February 2012
I have become very philosophical lately. and my mind turned to the purpose of cancer in this world.
Everything that I can think of has a survival instinct that is automatic.If we fall into a river the survival instinct takes over to help us survive and keep our heads above water, the flight or fight adrenaline rush when we feel under threat, even when we are unconscious our bodies first instinct is for the bodies survival. Anti bodies are produced to help us with our infections.Our blood will clot in some circumstances to we do not bleed continuously, This is the same for animals, and for plants that will seal up a cut to prevent moisture loss and infection getting in. Everything seems to have a built in instinct for survival.
So I ask myself, what is the point in this world of cancer. It undermines the bodies natural defences by starting of as a single cell and not being recognised by the bodies defences as a threat, its only purpose and intention is to grow in the body and ultimately do its best ( without intervention) to interfere with internal organs of its host. its only purpose its aim, its reason for being, is to destroy the systems that are keeping it alive, but in doing so, it destroys its host and ultimately itself, thus going against all the principles of being, of living, and surviving, even for itself.
I can not think of any other organism in the world that only, has the intention of self destruction.
Any ideas ?, answers like, god wants them the host for a moonbeam,ray of sunshine, angel or bright star, do not rate.
Take care all
wombat4
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February 2012
It is a battle Andrea,
It is like cruising along with life one day, and the next day you wake up and its as if you havnt woken up yet, you feel as if you are in this nightmare that wont go away. The world of sunshine has been replaced with darkness and grey. Family and friends are probably just as shocked as you if not more.
My wife used to say that it was better for her as she was in this "place", it was more difficult for me, as I was not, just looking in and suffering with her but also for her.
One day at a time is good. When any positive news comes along, grab it and if you can build on it and make that your focus.
You havnt cried or got angry maybe the numbness that we all feel when we or a loved one gets this illness is preventing it for now, and you and all your energy is focussed on working through.
Practical advice with the food, cook or ask for food with no or very little flavourings, try to eat smaller amounts but more often, blended vegies are good. Next time you see the oncologist ask to see the dietician for advice, its is important to keep as strong as you can.
My very best of wishes for tue 21st,
wombat4
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February 2012
Hi Tim,..
Folfox seems to be agreeing with you, well done.
A ready supply of home made soup is good, lots of lovely vegies and not too strong a flavouring, like curry or chilly.
My wife would feel a bit tired on day 2 and 3, but after that her energy levels would come back.
Keep out of the fridge / freezer, and no drinks with ice.
Take care,
wombat4
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February 2012
Hi maddie86,
The people that you meet and have not gone through what you are going through, are in a different place and time. They have not or have never needed to come to grips and have never being closely involved in what this useless disease means to you or your loved ones.
They cannot in their worst nightmare know what it means to have a loved one with this disease.
They are not in your place and time. It is not their fault, but the comprehension is way beyond them. this is something that other people have to deal with, never them. The nightmare is too incomprehensible to absorb, so as a consequence they can be quite dismissive and clinical in what they say, because they do not feel the emotion and trauma that you are going through. Try to forgive them, and hope they do not have to suffer as you have to.
wombat4
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February 2012
Hi Brooke,
My wife was also a published author, and on her chemo days used to give the writing a miss, but after a few days she used to get back into the swing of it, and it was her one pleasure, she used to really enjoy it. Once the chemo is out of your system you can get into it again.
So it is a new life,with cancer dont try to do what you used to because the cancer and rhe chemicals have changed that, but try to adjust to to a different pace. You will achieve your goal.
Lots of love and good luck
wombat4
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