Hi Deb, First I would like to say how sincerely sorry I am about your bowel cancer. Although I am not a sufferer myself, I was a carer to my lovely wife of 40 yrs, who like you had bowel cancer. My wife was a GP all her working life and retired in Dec 08 age 55 to take up her hobby of writing novels for a living. She had 2 books published by Mills & Boon and a contract for another 2. We were both blood donors and in dec 09 gave blood to the red x. My wife could not get over the fatigue that followed, so we went to the docs, had blood tests and scans, I remember the day as if it was yesterday, sitting in the docs office and he said, " its cancer, bowel cancer stage 4 and its terminal,it has set up secondaries in your liver that are inoperable. Its palliative care ". That and what followed were the worst days of my life. She had the op to remove the primary and then chemo for 2yrs for the secondaries. She had been retired for 12 mnths. When we started the chemo, the oncologist said, this chemo may kill you but if you dont try it, you have 4 weeks to live as we cannot wait to start it. We had 48 cycles in all, one every 2 weeks, I was with her at every one. I loved her, and still do. We had various combinations of chemo over the 2 years. The chemo stopped working in nov 2011 and was stopped. My wife was so tired from it all. There was one other chemo that could be tried, but she said no, she had had enough. On her last trip to hospital she said to the oncologist,"will it be long", and he said, "no". Her liver was under so much stress that it stopped working. I took her to hospital dec 19 last and she died peacefully dec 21. age 58. I have tears in my eyes writing this. Colin ... View more

Well the brussel sprouts come on special now and again. They can go down to $2/kg, thats when I buy in bulk, normally its about $6kg. I find the farmers markets etc are usually cheaper than the larger supermarkets. Keep going with the vegies folks wombat4 ... View more

Hi Alison, I know what you and your family are going through.I have been going through the same since my wife died 21/12/11 58yr of age from colorectal cancer. I feel that my heart has been ripped out. I do not feel anger there seems no point, but I do feel an overwhelming sense of loss and sadness, that I think I will never get over. Its not only the loss of my soul mate but the loss of the future we had planned, a simple low key retirement, but even that was too much to ask for. I am sorry for your families loss Alison, you are not alone in this. It seems so so unnecessary and unfair. wombat ... View more

Hi Andrew, You are so right when you say your world turns upside down. One day you are cruising along, the next you are staring into the abyss where once your dreams were. I used to dream of going back to the pre cancer days, what a beautiful life and future we had. I always remember that day that day 2 yrs ago in the GPs surgery, when he said to my wife, "its cancer". My world turned upside down and never righted itself. 2yrs of palliative care, frantic treatment, nightmares. Be with your mum and do what you can for her, you will not regret it. wombat4 ... View more

They certainly are clueless, Last week I went to a service for a young man, dx with bowel cancer in 2010, it had already spread to lungs and liver. He was on palliative care straight away. He died in feb 2012. age 29. If people think cancer is not for them and they shun people with it, or ridicule them. I say show compassion, you are not exempt. 1 in 2 people will get cancer in AU It can knock on any door. wombat4 ... View more

Just keep in there Maddie. Keep going for you and your fiances sake. This journey through cancer is like a nightmare for the sufferer and the carer. I cared for my lovely wife of 40yrs, dx with terminal colorectal cancer in 09 and finally took her 21 dec 11. age 58 I felt as if I was in a nightmare I couldnt wake up from. I look back on that time now, and it makes me feel good to be able to say to myself, that I loved her and cared for her as best I could. I gave up work, I accompanied her to all the appointments, rubbed cream into her feet to prevent the chemo side effect of dry skin for one hour every night for 2 yrs, cooked anything she wanted and could handle. There was nothing I wouldnt do, and now that she has gone in body, she is still with me in spirit, I talk to her constantly. My lovely wife may no longer be with me, but the love and companionship we had for each other is still there. this ratbag of a disease cannot take that away, ever. The friends that you have lost because of cancer, were they true friends, true friends would have stayed with you during this time. People do not like being associated with cancer, even the word frightens the hell out of them, and they backtrack as fast as they can. Be with your fiance as often as you can, hold his hand and tell him you love him. Be with him at the end. I was with my wife, I held her hand and told her I loved her. The most terrible moment in my entire life. But I was glad I was there. wombat4 ... View more

Thank you for your kind words Glenys. You certainly have not been dealt with a good hand of cards with your husband also having cancer. The fact that you have come to this site to express how you feel and to get support will make you feel better and make you stronger to deal with what lies ahead. It is only people with this rat bag of a disease and their carers as well as the medical professionals, will mention cancer. The rest of the world are frightened even of the word and pretends it dosnt exist, it isnt for them. Until its is. Then their support and opinions change. Overnight. Take care wombat4 ... View more

It wasnt me that had the cancer Glenys, it was my wife and soul mate of 40yrs. I was her carer for 2yrs while she battled colorectal cancer. She died 21/12/11. My wife died, it is the carers, the loved ones that endure the never ending pain of the legacy of this insidious disease. Life is not as precious as it used to be. wombat4 ... View more

Glenys, It is difficult, but try if you can, focus on the positives and try not to be too stressed about the surgery. None of us deserve this Glenys. When cancer touches a loved one, it is like all the family get it. Try to calm your mind, focus on the things that bring nice memories, meditation is a way to calm your mind and body, it takes a bit of practice, but it can be done. Think of all the things you will want to do when this is over, and it is just a memory, an unpleasant one, but a memory just the same Sufferers and carers move into a different phase of their lives, they leave the pre cancer days behind to focus on this new challenge. wombat4 ... View more

My deepest condolences for your loss of Tim. Words at a time like this seem inadequate. From one who lost their soul mate just before christmas last year,I would like to say that you are not alone in how you are feeling. Many on this site from their own loss, understand the depth of your grief. wombat4 ... View more