The people who have not been directly affected by cancer, either as a sufferer or a carer, cannot even begin to understand what it is like. They cannot imagine what it is like to stare into the big black hole, where there was one a future and plans and dreams. They just do not like talking about it. And your mother telling you to shut up about, was her way of telling you she has difficulty in realising what is happening to you. It opens up our vunerability and give us emotions that we have never had to deal with in the past. In some cases we are people to avoid It make us think that we cannot cope, and if we shut our eyes to it, and dont talk about it, well then it may just go away. Some people cannot handle it, because it brings our mortality to front and centre and we have never had to deal with anything as confronting. Wombat4 ... View more

Thats right Jeaneil, you memories will be precious and will never leave you. You and your husband will be together for all time, just in a different way. wombat4 ... View more

The post just means keep going, as best you can ... View more

One day you are walking in sunshine, dreams, plans, hopes, a wonderful future. Then all taken away in the blink of an eye. Devastation, at the diagnosis only begins to describe how we feel, and of course the question, how the hell did we end up here ? and then the caring, and then the terrible finality. I wish I had answers, but I dont. My soul mate of 40yrs died 21 dec last, from colorectal cancer. I was such a can-do person, so motivated, nothing too much trouble, and now..... its like being picked up and thrown into an abyss. No light, no sunshine, just emptyness. Seek counselling, just to talk to people about it helps. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to express the trauma you are going through. Your husband will come back to you in the love you had together, and the memories you both have, and of course your wonderful son. Time may or may not blank out the pain, it is so soon for you, time may act as a sedative to numb the pain, but the lovely memories will still be there. You are not alone in this. wombat4 ... View more

Good on you and hubby Smiley. Normality is the thing, The illness is there, but whats wrong with not letting it take over your entire lives. Enjoy the time together, its priceless. Have a great holiday wombat4 \ ... View more

Keep up the good work, you will never regret pulling out all the stops in the care of your partner. My wife was on Avastin as part of her chemo for 2 yrs at no cost, I wonder how yours is that mind boggling price. It just adds to the stress. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Author ?, but it sounds good. wombat4 ... View more

I was in the same situation, it is Devastating, nothing can prepare us for this. We were married 40ys, my lovely wife just 12mths into retirement, retired at 55 to enjoy her life. Given 4 wks, and survived another 2 years. Be with her, hold her hand, stroke her hair, tell her you love her, be with her. I am so sorry, I have no words to offer, If I had the magic wand, I would give it to you. wombat4 ... View more

Heres wishing good results, and a long life. Warning, daytime telly can make you feel sick. Good luck for tues, and forever. wombat4 ... View more

I have my lovely wifes ashes in a tasteful ( kitcheny ) glass jar, I have a towel around it, because the glass can be cold. My wife and I still sleep in the same bed. Bizzare? well yes maybe, comforting ? absolutely, in my mind she is with me all night, I can cuddle up and talk to her, in the mornings I get her up with me and sit her in her chair. Strange behaviour? absolutely, do I need counselling?, I have been going for a while now, but I havnt mentioned the above, I may get certified. Who cares, we were married for 40yrs before this rubbish disease took her away from me. Will I get over loosing her? probably not. wombat4 ... View more

Live each day as best you can. Your partners quality of life is important, some of these treatments may prolong life for a while but the side effects may cause discomfort. My lovely wife of 40yrs decided not to continue after 48 chemo cycles in 2 yrs and they stopped having any effect. She went to sleep as I held her hand and told her I loved her. She felt no pain. when I go I hope it is as peaceful. wombat4 ... View more