Hi Meadow, I haven't been in your situation (my husband had non Hodgkin's lymphoma, and no mood swings), but I'm really sorry you're in this position- it must be awful.  As I was reading your post I was wondering what type of cancer your Dad has, and what medications (if any) he is on?  Some medications, particularly steroids, and some types of cancer, generally brain cancer, can cause noticable negative changes in mood.  It might be worth discussing this with your Dad's doctor if your Dad is agreeable to this.   If not, it still might be worth discussing it with your doctor, because you need some support in this situation.  Your doctor won't be able to comment on your Dad's care, of course, but should be able to help you manage your situation.  Same with your Mum.  I hope you all get some answers soon.  love Emily ... View more

Hi Mark, what a difficult situation.  It's really hard caring for someone with cancer, as we can only be the passengers on their journey (It's a hackneyed analogy, but it works...).  Do you think it would help to have some time away from your Mum?  Depending on your living situation, even a few hours or so away from her may give you some more energy and mental clarity.  As hard as it is to deal with, the final decision about treatment must be hers, as she will be the one going through it.  However, you can decide how you will respond to her decision.    Also, do you think the lack of information coming from the doctors may be contributing to her resistance to conventional treatment?  What kind of treatment centre have you been going to so far?  It may be possible to get a second opinion from a doctor who is more thorough and gentle, and that may go a long way to easing your Mum's mind about surgery etc.    I wish you both lots of good things.  Emily     ... View more

Ahhh, 'scanxiety'- the majority of people on this site can relate.  It sucks!  Keeping everything crossed for a good outcome.  xx ... View more

Hi Debby, I'm really sorry to hear you are in this situation.  I just wanted to post quickly to say hi, and don't worry about crying in front of your son- you can still be strong with tears on your cheeks. I used to joke that I was my husband's soggy rock (He was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma at 39, and 5 years on is healthier than ever.)   It's just evidence that you care.    I hope your friends get in touch soon- in the meantime, I'm sending you a cyber hug.  love and hugs, Emily ... View more

I'm so glad you've got a good support network.  Yes, unfortunately some people do distance themselves when someone they love is dealing with cancer- good idea not to take it personally- she will come to you when she is ready, and in the meantime concentrate on the people who are there for you. I hope today is a good day for you. xx ... View more

Hi Cougar, I'm so sorry you and your husband are in this situation, but I'm glad you found this website.  I remember when my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 non Hodgkin's lymphoma and had six months of chemotherapy- I felt like my world was falling apart.  That was five years ago now (he's now in remission), and I still find this site helpful.  It's great for asking/venting/encouraging, and I hope you find it helpful too.   I can identify with the overthinking and fearing the future, too.  It sucks!  (but it's so easy to fall into.)  I had a bit of a breakdown after my husband was declared in remission (once there was no longer a to do list- I'd be mentally planning my husband's funeral while he was off on a bike ride with some mates), and found counselling really useful to help me learn to control my thoughts.  It might help you feel more in control too, if you're begining to be mentally exhausted.  Don't forget to be gentle with yourself, too- you're going through a massive trauma, and from the limited amount I can see, doing it pretty well.   Sending you love and big hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi, I don't really have much advice, but I just wanted you to know that this really, really irritates me too.  How much time does your Mum spend with this person?  If they interact mainly on the internet it's relatively easy to deal with, but harder if they spend time face to face.  Would it be possible for you or your Mum to gently ask her to respect your Mum's treatment choices?  Otherwise it might be necessary for your Mum to limit the amount of time she spends with this friend.  Unfortunately a lot of relationships change after a cancer diagnosis- some for the worse (and some for the better, remember that, too.)   I wish you and your Mum many good things.  Love and hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi! I just thought I'd drop you a line of encouragement- my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 Follicular lymphoma 5 years ago, when he was 39, and now he's healthier than ever.   He even cycles up mountains! (He took up cycling 2 years ago, and is absolutely hooked.- he's done Around the Bay in a Day twice, and cycles up Mount Hotham, Mt Baw Baw etc with some friends.)    It will be tough, but there is a lot of help and resources available for him and you - take advantage of them.  Joining this community is a great step, too.  I wish you both all the best.  love and hugs, Emily     ... View more

Hi Buckanchooky, that just sounds like a generally awful situation.  I haven't got much else to say, but I just wanted to give you some huge cyber hugs.  HUG!!!  HUG!!    Emily ... View more

Hi Roxanne, distance can be awful at a time like this.  I can't really offer you anything (I live in Melbourne) except a friendly greeting.  I hope you find lots of support from this group.  You could maybe ask your GP if there are any support networks in your area, or any government benefits you are entitled to- help around the house etc.    Sending warm hugs, Emily ... View more