That's what this forum is for- I've found it useful when I need to vent to people who understand.  My husband has been in remission for 7 years, so all our friends and family think it's over.  Of course, it's not, and people here understand that.  I hope you find it as beneficial as I have! ... View more

Hi Jennifer, I know what you mean about wanting to scream out loud but not being able to.  You can 'scream' here all you want, and we will listen.  love and hugs, Emily ... View more

Thanks Genevieve.  I reckon the word 'gruelling' was created for such circumstances!  I think there aren't any words that can help, but we can all stand and be exhausted together, and that's some comfort at least.  Hope your day is going well.  ... View more

Thanks Steven. ... View more

I'm so sorry things are still so hard, but I'm so glad you're posting back on here. Sending you big cyber hugs. Emily ... View more

Hi Jennifer, I'm so sorry to hear you and your husband have to go through this.  I'm glad you found this forum- it's a great place to vent/ask/be encouraged and surrounded by people who are in similar situations, and it's available 24/7.   We're all here cheering you and your husband on.  Big hugs!  Emily ... View more

Hi Jaykay, I can really understand where you are coming from.  My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma when I was 35 and he was 39 (7 years ago) and what you wrote is really familiar to me.  Especially about the sex!  Thanks for being open enough to write about it.  Sometimes it's really difficult to be 'the healthy one', and this is one of those times.  I really think cancer's impact on sex lives should be covered in pre-chemotherapy education, especially for young couples.  I wasn't prepared for how difficult the long stretch of celibacy would be, and didn't handle it as well as I would have liked.    Is this something you could discuss with your partner now?  If you can bring it up as an issue that needs to be addressed now, you will both be better placed to deal with it together later. (Especially if you phrase it as "cancer hasn't and won't change my desire for you, therefore..."-it will probably be encouraging and reassuring to your partner as well.)   As for being selfish because you still want your needs to be met-absolutely not.  I think it's really hard when your partner has cancer, because you are in such a stressful and traumatic situation, and the person you would normally lean on in such times is the one with the cancer, so who do you turn to?  That's where this forum is so good, because there are people here who understand a bit.  (Not that it's the same as having someone to sit beside you, but it helps a bit.)   I think what you're expressing sounds very  normal for someone in our situation.    I wish you both all the good things.  Lots of cyber hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi Roz, most people on this forum would agree that this part absolutely sucks!!  My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2011, and I remember that the period of diagnosis was more difficult than his chemotherapy, because at least once he had a firm diagnosis we knew what we were dealing with, and what we were not dealing with.  Before then every horrible situation seemed possible, all at once.    All I can suggest is that you keep yourself busy until your appointment- you've just got to ride this out hour by hour.  Can you get another councilling session before the appointment?  It might be useful for managing your stress.  Know that you're not going crazy, it really does suck that much.  We're all here to support you.  Big hugs!  Emily ... View more

Hi Sharon, it does sound really hard, especially as he's only told a couple of people what's going on.   Keep venting here, and know we're all cheering you both on.  love Emily ... View more