Hi kareh84,   Cancer is crap, but most types have some sort of treatment protocol and new treatments are being identified all the time. We live in hope.   Be there for your sister!   Rick ... View more

Hi Tracylyn61,   Welcome to our community.   It must be extra tough for people like you who suffer consequential effects from thei cancer. These consequential effects obviously range from negligible, as I have had with my goastro-oesophageal cancer, through to disfigurement from oral cancer.   I'm not entirely clear about the specific type of support that you are looking for here, but just keep posting to get everything off your chest. Hopefully we will have anacdotes or advice in response to each of your concerns.   And prepare before you attend any of your medial appointments so that you don't forget to ask questions that are playing on your mind. I kept a list of symptoms and questions on my smart phone so that I could add to it where ever I might be when they came to mind and then could go through them one by one when I attend my appointments.   Best wishes to you, and keep postig.   Rick ... View more

Hi blueeyedjess,   Congratulations in seeking advice - you are in a tough situation.   Do a search through these forums and you will see lots of people who have had to deal with beligerant partners or parents who are going through their cancer journey. There is already a whole lot of good advice posted in these forums on this subject. But again, good on you for reaching out - a really big step in the right direction.   One thing in particular that I would suggest is trying to compartmentalise your time with your mum between that as a carer and that as her daughter. That is, love her to the max when you are there as her daughter, but then become the tough hospital matron when you are there to assist in her treatment - tell her to back off if she over steps the mark. But also let her know which role you are playing at any point in time so that she learns what she can and can't get away with.   This approach also requires you to become as knowledgable as you can about her condition, treatment and responses so that you can work out where to draw the line about what is reasonable, what isn't and consequently when you should hold your ground or give a little.   Just remember the safety instructions given when you are on an aeroplane - if the oxygen masks come down, use it yourself first before you try to help others. You can't help your mum if you are an emotional mess. Take care of yourself first and exercise your mind so that you are in a good head-space to help your mum - and that will often require you to stand your ground and tell her what she needs rather than what she wants.   Good luck and hang in there. Rick ... View more

Hi Eugene,   Great to hear about your positive progress. I took a bit longer for all stages of my recovery, but "everyone's different" - I am just so fed up with hearing that statement, and I just can't stomach it any more.   Warning - I get into some detail about bodily functions below.   Interestingly, the only real way of telling what is going on in your intestine is by inspecting what comes out at the other end. Poo became my friend and told me how I was progressing. I would talk about it to the doctors ans nurses at every opportunity. It actually took quite a while for my intestines to settle into a standard diet and for my poo to settle in to a new normal. I haven't actually had a firm poo since the operation over a year ago now, even following periods of constipation.  But maybe that is a consequence of the museli I have every morning and nut bars that I eat as snacks to keep my energy levels up.   There is a really fantastic book about titled GUT: the inside story of our body's most under rated organ by Giulia Enders - get it, read it, laugh and learn.  And then pass it on to others to read.   Best wishes for your continuing recovery. Rick ... View more

Hope ... View more

Hi LisaS,   Thank you for being brave enough to share your feelings with us.  It must be so hard dealing with this (essentially) on your own. Perhaps you don't have to...   You seem to have been a fairly high achiever up to now. So why stop now. What impression of yourself do you want to leave behind? How would you define "success" and what legacy do you want to leave behind?   Perhaps there are things that you can do to leave a positive mark on the world without necesarily having to be overly physical. Can you distract yourself from your situation by helping others - perhaps helping out with art or craft sessions at a childre'sn ward of a hospital or at a nursing home? Or helping with a school performance?   Give yourself a positive reason to get out of bed each morning. Touching the lives of others might help you to deal with your unpleasant situation.    Get out there and make a difference!   Best wishes, Rick ... View more

Hi Vivi,   If you have seen any of my prior posts, my focus tends to be on self awareness and self empowerment. So prepaer yourself because my comments below might come across as being a bit challenging.   Just to confirm...   Your partner is in QLD and suffers from anxiety and depression. Your Mum (not in QLD) is recovering from a fall while overseas in Greece and is on age pension. One brother recently got married in Greece. Another brother (not in QLD) has cancer, has a gabling problem and is on disability pension. You are on a disability pension and haven't been home to see your partner for 4 months. You love them all and wonder how you can help them all at the same time.   Simple answer is that you can't help them all at the same time. Not physically, not emotionally and definitely not financially.   Maybe having your Mum and brother with cancer coming to live with you and your partner for a while might be a solution - or it could just make things worse. It all depends on so many things: are there childern in the scene, how close are you to treatment facilities, do you have the space in your home, are the personality types compatible, does your Mum and/or brother want to move even for a short period of time?   And what support do each of your Mum and brother with cancer actually need versus they say that they want versus what you think that they need? What they really need might not require you to be physically present. Are they letting you help them simply to keep you happy, or are they really in need? How did they manage their lives prior to 4 months ago when you came to their rescues? Why is it all up to you?   In my opinion, you are better off helping your family to set themselves up so that they have access to the appropriate support and care from their own homes. And if you have something come up for youself that makes it impossible for you to be there for them? This is putting incredible pressure on you and everyone has their breaking point.   You might love your Mum and brother very dearly, but their lives are their lives - they have and will make decisions for themselves and they have to live with it regardless of the pros or cons.   Similarly, it is your responsibility to yourself to decide what (who) is most important to you. Maybe I am being a bit obscure here, but your number 1 priority should be YOU. You can't help anyone, let alone yourself, if you are not in a good headspace. There are all sorts of options available to help you get your head straight including GPs, Cancer Council support counsellers, Life Line, etc.   Other peoples' problems are not your fault. You can't be everyone's hero all the time. Just decide for yourself where you want to focus your energies at any paritcular time and get on with it knowing that you are doing your best.   If anyone tries to make you feel guilty, then they are being selfish. and you need to tell them that you will help them when you can.   Let us know how you get on.   Warm regards, Rick ... View more

Hi Eugene,   I had an MRI of my liver with contrast. This isn't covered in any way by Medicare or private health insurance. By shopping around (there are 2 private medical imaging service providers in CBR and I didn't want to wait for it to be done at The Canberra Hospital), I managed to save over $100.   The mass in my liver was assessed to be just a vascular mass - something that is moderately common in middle age.   So I will be around for quite a while to come.   Best wishes for your op tomorrow. From my experience, you probably won't feel like loggin in for at least a week or maybe a lot longer.   Rick   ... View more

Hi Tiana,   kj has good advice.   I don't have any experience with pancreatic cancer, but my advice is to read up as much as you can on the subject - symptoms, progression, treatments and life after treatment. Knowledge is power, and power gives you strength, particularly when dealing with cancer - any form of cancer.   The more you know, the more you can understanad the pros and cons of the options being offered by the specialists and then you can be prepared to act as your father's advocate to ask the right questions at the right time rather than "I wish I knew to ask that question 2 months ago".   Remember that gaining an inner strength will also set a great example for your father. After all it is his journey and you should seek to help him get to a position where he be confident to make decisions for himself whenever he needs to do so, even if they are decisions that you might not like. You can be his co-pilot, but in the end, he is his own pilot.   Best wishes to all of you in confronting this terrible situaton.   Rick ... View more

Hi Eugene,   It is about 14 months now since my operation. I had 2 big dinners in the week leading up to my big event - one with friends and one with family. I referred to these as my "Last Suppers", because they were the last time I would be able to "stomach" a hearty meal with thiose who are near and dear to me.   Fortunately, the operation showed that the first round of chemo had been sucessful in killing off "all" of the cancer - pity that they have to remove my stomach to find that out.   I now eat meals that are about 1/2 to 2/3 the size of meals from before the operation. I have found that I need to avoid raw onion in particular, plus tomatoes and capsicums can sometimes cause problems. Eating sweet food after a "large" meal also causes significant problems - so just eat desert before dinner.   About twice a month I wake up at 2 am with quite severe indigestion. The actual feeling is hard to explain - it is something completely new to me, probably the nerve signals are all mixed up because I don't have a stomach any more and my plubming has been rearranged a little. Anyway, I do take a couple of drops of Digest-Zen under my tongue and I can usually get back to sleep within 30 minutes.   Gotta get back to work now. Let me know if you have any other questions and I will try to answer them over the weekend. Or send me a private message and I will send you my phone number for a chat.   Best wishes, Rick ... View more