Maybe I am just wierd, but my view on whether or not to tell others about your condition is...   SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!   Let everyone know that you are dealing with it. Once they see that you don't need (or want) pity, then they are generally more prepared to talk about it with a view to learning and understanding. They hopefully get it into their heads that they should seek medical advice about any symptoms that don't quite seem right. This might just help someone to get treatment earlier and a have a much better prognosis.   My mantra these days is "If something doesn't seem quite right, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"   Best wishes to you for your journey, Rick ... View more

Hi JanLan,   Your world has been turned upside down and there is no chance of accepting that your new situation should be considered anything close to "normal". What could they be thinking?   Life just isn't fair. And sometimes it is less fair on some than others. And people with the best of intentions often say things that we just don't want to hear. That's not to say that their intent is wrong, but we might not be in the right mindset at that moment to look through the specific words spoken to the intended message.   As I see it, we all have a range of options when dealing with grief. At one extreme of the spectrum we can carry on as if nothing has happened; at the other extreme we can spend all day of every day curled up in a corner waiting to die. In reality, we find ourselves in a position somewhere between these extremes and that position will change day by day and even hour by hour. How we change our position along the spectrum is something that we need to work out for ourselves.   Sorry if this comes across as a bit harsh, but you are only in your 40s and you have 3 children who will always depend on you in some form or another for the next 40+ years. So desppite your situation, you have a duty to yourself and your children to come to terms with your situation and "choose life".    So, whenever you are feeling uncomfortable with your emotions, one way or the other, I challenge you to think about your position along the spectrum described above and then choose where you want to be. Sometimes that will mean having to "toughen up a bit " and at other times "just let it out".   But wherever you do find yourself emotionally at any point in time, help others to understand where you are and where you want to be so that they can work with you rather than (unintentionally) creating relationship barriers.   And if you are finding it particularly hard to manage your emotions, hug your children and get strength from your combined love. It is amazing just how strong children can be when you least expect it.   Good luck and best wishes, Rick ... View more

Hi Duey,   It is great to hear that you have found a way to deal with your physical condition and get on with your life.   I am also looking for a change in career so that I can do most of my work from home - we live on a farm which is about 85 km from my current workplace. The trouble is finding work that will pay all the bills. At least I am permitted to work from home on Wednesdays - this breaks up the working week and saves me 2.5 hours of commute.   So good on you!   Best wishes, Rick   ... View more

Hi bakul,   Sorry to hear that your uncle's treatment was so problemmatic.   I am no doctor, but depending on the specific situation, an enteral feeding tube might be fitted.   Mind you, an aunt of mine had sufferred Crohn's disease for many years. Eventually, they had resected so much of her small nitestine that she had to be on intravenous feeding. She survived with this for about 10 years. This didn't stop her from chewing and enjoying food, she just couldn't swallow it.   Warm regards, Rick ... View more

Hi kareh84,   Sorry to hear about your situation, No wonder you are having problems trying to exist across 4 emotional universes - that of your grandmother, your sister, the "healthy" members of your family and yourself.   In my experience, the "healthy" members of your familly usiverse is fairly simple to work out - you need to be everyone's rock. Be realistically positive and open minded. But let them know what you need from them, and this may change day by day.   But what you need from others might not be what your grandmother needs from you, which might be different to what your sister needs from you and which might be different for what you need from yourself.   So first of all, you need to look out for your own needs. If you end up curled up in a ball in the corner of the room crying, then you aren't able to help anyone. Take charge of what you can control. Given the occurences of ill-health in your family, start out by getting yourself a thorough medical examination. Once you know that you are physically fine, then you can get on with getting mentally prepared to support your sister and grandmother.   Then speak with each of your sister and grandmother to find out what they really want or need from you. If you try second guessing what they need, then you are sure to get it wrong and, with emotions on a knite-edge, regrets will ensue.   I was lucky with early diagnosis, so talking about my condition presents an opportunity to educate others. But I do have a cousin who has cancer and he would rather not talk about anything medical at all. With him, I just behave like nothing medical is happening to either of us.   So you might not be the one with a bad diagnosis, but you still have to find a way to live with it. Help yourself to help others, whether it is in the form of a shoulder to cry on or a kick up the bum (ie, that might be for you or for them).   Best wishes and let us know how you get on.   Warm regards, Rick   ... View more

Hi jox34,   Sorry to hear that your new journey is so frustrating and sad. Fortunately for me, my life was pretty settled when I was diagnosed. And my cancer got caught early so I have a really good prognosis (other than having had my stomach removed and a "mass" having been identified in my liver in a recent CT scan).   Fire away with your questions/comments here and I am more than happy to let you know my opinion and/or what I have experienced. If you don't want to air your laundry so freely, feel free to send me personal messages.   Get used to "everyone is different, so I can't tell you what it will mean for you". It comes with the territory.   Keep positive.   Warm regards, Rick ... View more

Hi Jane1,   Thanks for your reply. It is good to know that the MRI is worth the effort and cost.   My oncologist also recommended that I proceed with the MRI.   I did actually get a reply from the referring specialist this morning, but he didn't actually answer any of my questions. I realise that there are rarely any guarantees in medicine, but I am getting a bit fed up with the ubiquitous response of "everyone is different, so I can't really answer that". Generally, I am just after an indication or likelihood of various options/outcomes. I guess this lack of preparedness to make a call on things comes from our increasingly litigeous society.   Thanks for leetting me get that of my chest.   MRI booked in for Tuesday morning at a different digital imaging service where the cost is only $580 (ie, $200 cheaper).   Rick ... View more

I am cringing as I write this, but...   Stripes ... View more

Hi Nicky99,   Wow, life has really thrown you a knuckleball. I just can’t begin to imagine how I would have dealt with your situation, particularly at your young age.    Make sure that you surround yourself with people you love and trust. You have a lot of “growing up” to do instead of just getting out and being care free. Having family who will look out for you, rather than their own best interests, will give you better opportunity to deal with thing when you are ready. The trick is working out who really is on your side.    But do find time for yourself. You are still so young and have so much ahead of you. Having “me time” will let you get your head and heart straight so that you can set your path forward and do what is right for you.    In in the mean time, show your Mum how special she is to you and how strong you are that she should not be concerned when she has had enough and decides to let go.    My my heart goes out to you.   Rick ... View more