Nooo! Feel like a little kid in a tantrum!!! Wish this wasnt happening to you 😞 Always here if you need me, wish I could do more. Alana ... View more

Hugs xx alana ... View more

Hi Mrs Elton, I go through the same thing all the time. Like you I am the one who cooks a meal for my sick friend, or reminds a mate its his wife's birthday or the like. I am the one who makes a lot of noise about the importance of fundraising, or the one people come too to whinge about their lives (or usually their husbands lol). Yet, just as you have found, I have struggled to find that support for myself. A girlfriend who I haven't seen since before T's cancer is visiting this weekend from SA. She really, really needs me apparently as she is turning 40 and just CAN'T cope with that without me. I hope I have the strength not to give it to her with both barrels as I am waaayyyyy over trivial melodrama. Definately no enegiser batteries in this lil bunny!!! May I add that she has called me about three times in these last nine months. Reminds me why I left lol. A lot of my friends were that way back home. I have chosen a bit carefully up here. After that big whine, I have found I have a small group of wonderful friends that drag me out for coffee once a week as they noticed me fizzing out lately. I need more fundraisers haha, I always head downwards when I don't have a focus!! I went up the mountain this weekend. DID NOT want to come home. I love birds, snakes and lizards, (I hear you all go ewwww, but I just love them), and lil marsupials and anything furry and cute. My little daughter shares the same joy over animals. We had such a wonderful time, bushwalking, bird feeding and holding snakes, but it sure broke the bank!!! I don't care though, we needed it. T got out the rucksack and headed into the rainforest for a 5 hour trek. So refreshing, cleared the head and shone a bit of light on the future. First timeI have thought past the next chemo treatment or specialist appointment in ages. maybe I should take a quick runn back uo there before my friend gets here! :-) Good news! T had his medical and go back to work tomorrow. Exactly nine months to the day after diagnosis. Take care all Alana :-) ... View more

Hi Everyone, I swear everytime, I log in there is another post that makes me say 'we're not the only ones'. This is such a great sight to share experiences so honestly. Thank you everyone and thanks minidriver for having the courage to post this topic!! Alana :-) ... View more

Hi everyone, Kymg you shouldn't apologise for your first post, we all have those days. That is exactly what this site is for! By writing it on here,we get it out without hurting the ones we love. This is a real roller coaster of a ride, with ups and downs, turns and twists, and if we want to have a little moan now and again, why not!! In this house we are like you in that we like to remain very positive and upbeat about cancer and the operations associated with it, but sometimes you wouldn't know it reading my posts!! We have to vent somewhere and this is a nice supportive place to do it. One of my hubby's favourite answers to the how are you feeling question is 'strugglin' mate strugglin!' He just likes to see the look on peoples faces when he says that. Most people don't know how to respond. He even does it to the oncology nurses and they start rattling off the questions, nausea? neuropathy? etc etc. I also have one when I notice him looking uncomfortable if people get too serious. I tell them that 'there's nothing bloody wrong with him, he just wants time off work!' or 'suck it up Princess what's wrong with ya?' Another one is 'awww, what's he whinging about now?' People think we are mad, mean or both but we think we're funny. It also deflects their negativity pretty quickly, though I don't think they mean it as that. We just dont have the energy to carry their troubles. There is enough going on within our own family unit! I keep all our close family and friends up to date with a group email. That way I don't have to inform people of the 'truth' in front of my husband when he is channelling everything into getting better. I am glad you posted this as just like Mrs Elton, I can see how things are from the male perspective a little clearer. The last few weeks I have been really bossy with his friends, demanding they take him for a quick drink down the pub, or a trip to the shed to sharpen the mower blades, then I disappear for a while. As you can imagine it is a real effort for them (not), but it seems to be relieving the boredom for him a bit. It also seems I could be in the running for wife of the year haha, as his mates friends wives are allowing them out for a coldy to help out! Anyway, a positive attitude will never do anyone any harm, and if it gets us all through this....... One hurdle at a time is the way to go, your absolutely right about that one, and celebrate every one you jump. Take care Alana ... View more

Thanks Jules Jp, Unfortunately he refuses counselling. Boo on the other hand has finally accepted that she does. Win some lose some and in typical fashion us girls are moving ahead and acceptng what is happening, whilst T stays put. This year seems to see us girls growing closer and gaining stregth love and friendship from each other while he is pushing further away. Today has been a really bad day and it took all my will not to put my babies in the car and run. Feel like I have been battered about (figuratively not literally) and have reached the end of my tether. How can someone face death and win only to deliberately sabatage his relationship with his family? I am trying to understand, but we have zero money left as he is pouring it all done his throat. I can't take anymore. Lucky for him I don't quit easily, but is it lucky for the girls? They are falling apart in front of my eyes, largely due to his nastiness and negativity and he refuses to acknowledge that anyone besides himself can be affected by HIS cancer. Rrrrrr. Sorry, I should go, hate being so angry and helpless, and then bringing others down with it. You all have enough of your own stuff to deal with. :-( ... View more

Thank you sailor, We will do that tomorrow, then he has a focus. We raised $1560 last night so was a great effort for such a small group! The party in SA that was happening simultaneously and was a great big one raised $5170!!! I am floating! Feels good to contribute. Take care all Alana ... View more

Wow Graham, I have sat here for 10 minutes trying to decide what to write. For once I am at a loss for words. Sailors quote is wonderful though. I agree with samex as well, I would make sure all the special people in my life knew how much I loved them. I wish you love and peace and strength and courage. Alana ... View more

last night was awesome. I couldnt believe how many of us have been affected by cancer. It is staggering. I really, really enjoyed everything about the night and the lead up. Think it may be my thing, fundraising!!! Will let you know how we did when I sit down and count all the money. We filled up 7 tins!!! Does anyone know anything about volunteering out bush? My husband broke down on Friday night and cried. He feels very strongly that he needs to help people who are in rural areas. He spent lots of years in isolated places and wants to lend a hand where he feels comfortable. I think watching me with the fundraisers and cancer shirts has inspired him a bit. It has given him something positive to focus on. 🙂 ... View more