Hi Bj067, my husband is so much better than the person he was on steroids.  Listen my heart breaks for you.  To see that he has selective niceness to who he wants and who he doesn’t isn’t fair to you.  His damn sister should say something to him.  Tell her your at your wits end. She should be telling him how lucky he is to have you. But you need to tell her how you feel, you don’t deserve to be treated poorly when you were giving him your all. Obviously if his sister is coming and going she cannot take care of him 24 /7 .  You really need to let her know how you feel because you don’t deserve this. I had to let my husband know that he was being selective on treating everyone else nice but me! And I am here 100% of the time. That’s where I want to be. You have a kind heart and you obviously love him.  Do you need help maybe she doesn’t know, this is the perfect time for her to step in that he is very lucky to have you. She is also very lucky to have you there taking such great care of her brother. I hope you take my advice because you are a great person with a big heart and a kind soul. If you ever need to talk or for me or me to talk to you please Advice because you are a great person with a big heart and a kind soul. If you ever need to talk to me I need to talk to you please email me tracireneenmahar@Gmail.com please keep me posted and good luck ... View more

Hi JB729,    I am wishing you the best for the New Year! Looking things up on google or anywhere is never recommended.  It can actually scare the crap out of you.  So I’m glad your not going to continue your google search anymore.  Lol. Well stay in touch and if you need to vent or talk we are always hear to lend a helping ear.  Thank you for your kind words regarding my husband.  His last chemo is Christmas and then his Hipec surgery is scheduled January 15th, 2020.  I’m scared but, well but nothing I’m just plain out scared.  Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Very Happy Healthy New Year ... View more

That is great news!  Stay positive and enjoy and love your family.  Happy Holidays to you and yours. Traci Mahar   ... View more

First of all, you never have to apologize on this site.  We are all here to help and support each other.  I am on this site bc my husband has been diagnosed with appendix cancer that has metastasized.  I am sending you and your family tons of prayers.  It ok to be scared and of course your family.  My uncle had prostate cancer and did extremely well with treatment.  I also believe strongly, that a second set of ears is always best.  Write things down.  My husband has never gone to an appointment by himself.  Either my daughter or myself or the three of us go.  Mostly my husband and myself.  But things that you don’t hear they will.  Please keep us posted on how you are doing.  I didn’t see your first name but please know that you and your beautiful family are in my thoughts and prayers.  If you are told you do have cancer, ask what’s next.  How long? What the treatment plan will be, or consist of.  I will tell you this, when my husband was in the steroid pills, bc they gave him steroids thru IV also, which is to help with nausea.  But the pills were tearing us apart.  He was so mean that I wanted to run.  Once the nurse and dr found out they took him off, and he was a new man.  By no means if they want to put you on them, take them.  But please listen to those around you.  If they are telling you your mean, listen bc they are the ones that are helping and loving you.  God bless and will be praying for positive results.   Traci Mahar ... View more

Hi Travis,  I’m so sorry that you are going thru this.  But don’t take no for an answer.  Yes I would of thought they would biopsy the areas in question.  I would absolutely push forward bc the sooner you know the faster you can address the issues at hand.  I’m praying for you and your mom.  But remember don’t take no for an answer keep pushing and advocate for your mom.  Nothing should wait, I would also go for a second opinion.  If you feel like your not getting answers with this dr.  He might not be the right dr for your mom.  Keep pushing forward and stay strong.  Praying for you both and your family.  Please keep us posted. 🙏🏻 Traci Mahar ... View more

Hi Gigi27, is he taking steroids? Bc my husband was so nasty to me when he was.  Once they stopped the steroids, he was much nicer to me.  And when he was upset with me, we could at least talk it out.  But there was no talking to him on Steroids.  Take care and God Bless.  It sucks to be treated like a punching bag day in and day out.  While we are hurting so much inside.  My email address is Tracireneenmahar@gmail.com Hope this helps hugs ... View more

Hestas, I’m so sorry you are going thru this.  My husband was also mean at first.  Is this behavior to you new?  If it isn’t new has it begun since the cancer and treatment?  Is he taking a steroid?  My husband was also very mean and acted like he hated me.  I was crying all the time.  I felt lonely and hopeless.  Then one day a nurse heard the way he was talking and looking at me, and me with my head down like a beaten up wife.  She waited outside of the ladies room for me to come out, and asked me had he always been like this?  I started crying and said NO!!!  A counselor from the clinic tried calling him a few days later and he wouldn’t answer or return her calls.  He even asked me if I talked or said something to someone at the clinic.  Of course I denied everything...well the next week we went in for an appointment and they cut his steroid down from two pills a day to one.  Wow what a difference that made.  Two weeks later she pulled them completely from him.  Now he thanks me, hugs me and mostly appreciates me.   I do have to say one day he was not feeling well and I was thinking oh god I hope it’s not because of the steroids...and don’t you know he said to me the next day maybe I should go back on the steroids.  I said with a sad face why are you in more pain without them?  Feeling very bad for him.  He says no not at all. I just think it might be better for me to maybe try them again.  I said if you touch those damn Steroids I am leaving and living somewhere else, bc if your not in pain and you choose to take them, then I chose to come here and take care of you and leave when your mean.   He never took them again.  Lol and my house is much more calmer and we talk, huh and snuggle.  Don’t get me wrong we still have little fights but not like the monster he was like on steroids.  If you need to talk or want to you can email me. Tracireneenmahar@gmail.com  Please remember you have feelings and watch out for yourself. You need to take care of yourself in order to care for someone else.  I’m still learning this.  Take care hugs ... View more

Hi Jsmc, I am so sorry you and your family are going thru this. My husband was recently diagnosed with appendix cancer that has metastasized thru small intestines and large, his omentum and three lymph nodes. I also was getting the verbal abuse. Everyone else cared about him and I was a piece of poop. I do everything for him. Me, myself and I. I felt like he hated me. Well the nurse noticed a few looks he was giving me and when I came out of the ladies room, the nurse started asking me questions. His next visit they lowered his steroid and he is a new man. I mean as far as I haven’t been sworn at, or talked to like I was a piece of crap. It is so hard because they are the ones that have the actual cancer, but we are also going thru it with them. No we don’t know how they feel, but we are also hurting almost as much. I totally understand they are scared. We are scared also. I have three older kids but it still doesn’t take away the pain my kids are dealing with. No matter what age. Let’s face it Cancer Sucks! My heart goes out to you. Your wife believe me knows what a great husband she married, and daddy you are. It probably hurts her that you have to take on things she has had to do being mom. Just keep on being the great person you are being. It’s definitely ok to be angry. I’m angry my husband is 55. It’s even ok to go in the garage like I do and cry. I hope this helps you to know your not alone. Keep us posted you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Traci Renee ... View more

Hi Tracy88xx, he must be seeing a dr, correct.  Tell the dr what is going on behind his back.  Do they have permission to speak with you?  If so call them and explain to them his treatment of you.  My husband called me everything in the book and I was crying all the time, and on his third visit for chemo they saw his little looks and snaps at me and they lowered his Steroid.  Well let me tell you, he is a whole new person. He hasn’t called me any names in two weeks and all they did was lower his dose.  We just went in today for our fourth treatment and I’m praying for the same results bc they kept him on the lower dose of steroid.  Good luck and sending you a great big hug.  Hope to hear back from you.  Traci-Renee ... View more

Shauni22000, just read your post.  I couldn’t agree with you more.  One minute things are ok and I do mean OK, then bam I’m every name in the book.  Hurtful things coming from his mouth.  I cry and cry.  I don’t think he or our loved ones know how much we are hurting, bc they are the ones with Cancer.  My husband tells me every time he starts screaming at me.  I’m the one with Cancer. ( you selfish f-in bitch).  When he’s nice he is nice, but when he is mean he is mean as hell.  A man I don’t even recognize.  My heart is so broken, as I know many of us are suffering from broken hearts.  I just need a great big hug from the man I love and care for.  I hate to see my husband scared and hurting and holding everything in and trying to act like he’s Superman. I hate seeing my kids faces scared of the unknown and walking on eggshells.  I’m mom and feel like I’m suppose to make everything thing better, and I can’t.  What a failure I feel like.  Stay strong, I have to remind my self of this every minute and am failing at this also. 💔 ... View more