What a cheek!!! You should have said that you have much better medical attention than them and if anything did "pop up" it would be noticed a lot earlier than most other people. A friend of mine said that his mother couldn't get travel insurance because "she'd had cancer", as he said she would be less likely to have any major health problems because she is more aware of her health as is her medical team. It is a pity that we always think of these things to say well after they are needed, maybe go armed ready for these senseless comments next time.... craftyone ... View more

Hi Olivia, As the others have stated, it is very normal to feel the way that you do. I am out 10 years from my cancer, but only one year out from my last op to remove pre-cancerous polyps - has been a long journey - and although it has been a big improvement for my future health (physical) I have found it has provided a mix of feelings during this last 12 months. I too had big "it's come back" feelings in the first 4-5 years, every little cough, loss of energy (probably due to not enough exercise) and that sort of thing, but that feeling has definitely faded to a great extent. It doesn't matter what any professional (ie. doctor, nurse, etc) says, the feelings take a long to to fade, I have found that if I acknowledge the feeling and then put it to the back of my mind, then I can live with them. After 10 years the feeling of the cancer returning has been locked firmly away. So, don't feel like you are inadequate or that "you shouldn't be feeling like this", it is all very normal. As Samex says, this site is a fantastic place to "normalize" what you are feeling and dealing with. Good luck and lots of kind thoughts, craftyone ... View more

HI Vicki, I agree, what a fantastic blog. I am quite envious of your skill. It does help though, doesn't it, to put into words what is happening and what might be eating you up (mental-wise) inside. A great release can be had. Whilst recovering from ops, years ago, i found that my cross-stitch was very easy to do, something to concentrate on, but not mind draining. I am now into quilting which is requiring a lot more thought, but also very enjoyable. Keep up the good work and enjoy your srapbooking craftyone ... View more

Hi Sailor, I found (during chemo) that peppermint water or tea do work as well - just not as "nice" as the scotch. Don't know if it would work with scotch or at all nice.... Don't take it out on your Chief of Operations, though (the mood swings, that is) might not be good. thinking of you craftyone (or as Jules2 has nicknamed me crafty) ... View more

Hi VIa.lost, I am truly sorry for your loss and isolation. I agree with the other two comments, certainly grieve for your father, and just remember that you were there when he REALLY needed you. Guilt is a very hard thing to deal with, but please be gentle with yourself and do give yourself time to come to terms with it. Yes, go get some counselling when my brother died it was suggested that I get counselling, but I decided to "hang in there" and the feeling of loss eventually eased somewhat. Pop in when you need to and talk it out, sharing, if only through this website, can help a little. Good luck, craftyone ... View more

Hi Bella, I think that it takes a terribly long time - probably forever - not to miss family. I lost my mother a long time ago when I was in my mid 20's. She had had a hard time the last 10 years of her life, even though she thoroughly enjoyed all of it - thanks to dad. The last 2 years was extremely hard and it was with a certain relief when she did die, but oh how I still miss her. Every now and then I tell my partner "you would have loved her, she never said anything bad about anyone or hurt anyone at all". Her last 3 months was bed ridden and she used to try so hard not to let us know when she was in pain or feeling bad. All we could do was love her and look after her. Life does go on, and we make our own way, but the memories are still strong in mind and heart and the best advice that I can give is just to enjoy the good memories and the good things that your mother taught you. Give yourself plenty of time and don't be hard on yourself at all, it does take time. Thinking of you, Craftyone ... View more

Hi, I have had an ileostomy for 10 years. I think (from my own experiences - 4 huge bowel ops) that it takes time for the body to settle back down after a bowel operation. Hopefully they have sorted out the problem by now and things have become more stable. I have found that the first 2-3 months is probably the worst time, and then things seem to improve a lot faster. Of course, we are all different and our bodies all heal at different times and in different ways, so everyone's experience can be a lot different. At least your partner is in the best place to sort it all out, don't be afraid to ask questions of the surgeon, doctors and nurses and my only other advice is to hang in there yourself and just have patience. These ops are huge and the body is put under a lot of trauma with them so I think that they can take time out for healing. Doesn't help much, but good luck with it all. Craftyone ... View more

Hi Sammycat, I think that losing ones parents, especially if they die at that age that is not old enough to seem like their lives have been long enough. I know how you feel, I lost my mother when I was in my mid-twenties a long time ago and over the years since then every now and then I think of how nice it would have been if we had have had the time to become close as friends, not just mother and daughter. Yes, we were close, but with her illness we just didn't have that opportunity. I am very grateful that I had the time with her that I had, but it doesn't replace that adult relationship that I missed. Time does heal, but you will never get over losing her, you will just treasure that time that you did have. Good luck and let yourself grieve for a little while longer, craftyone ... View more

HI Helen, Hope that this isn't too far down the track. I went back to work and enjoyed the feeling of getting my life back to some sort of "normality". Some days I was very motivated and enjoyed being there - enjoyed being with my colleagues - but other days just wanted to "escape". I only stayed because, as with Samex, I had a great super scheme and my aim was that when I retired we wouldn't need to worry about money and just enjoy it. My partner actually retired before me, as he had been retrenched soon after I was diagnosed and then got a job which would have suited him in his younger days. We are now both retired and living in the country - my real escape - and just enjoying what we want to do, knowing that we don't have to worry about being able to do it or not. If you don't care about that sort of thing, or you are sure that you will be able to live in a style that you want to, then go ahead and leave work. Maybe, another area of work may be more suitable? Some survivors get into social work and such stuff - not enough energy for that. I am keeping myself useful by getting into volunteer work and find that extremely useful - if I can help others then I feel like my journey was worthwhile Good luck with your decisions, you can always change them if they DON'T suit, work out what is most important for you - I only had 7 years to work before retirement, so I oculd hold out for it - I also had great support at work. craftyone ... View more

Hi Jo, I too am sorry at your predicament. I hope that some solution appears. Yes, it is really great to share what is happening as it takes some load of the mind. Hope that the scans go well on Wednesday, it is a very scary time for both of you. We will all be thinking of you and sending kind thoughts. All I can say is hang in there until next Wednesday. craftyone ... View more