Hi wapwap, Your mum might respond very well to treatment, and although it is difficult at times to feel optimistic, I believe that a positive outlook can help a lot. It is so sad about your previous loss, but it does not mean it is always like this. I do hope your mum responds well to her treatment and that you have lots of better times to come. Hugs S ... View more

It is not possible to be positive all the time, you must allow time for crying and not keep it all insisde, especially if you are the carer, because your partner needs you and you must remain strong for him. So find a special plce you can go to and cry as much as you need. Yes negative thoughts will come in but you can counteract with positive ones. Not everyday will be a bad day, so focus on the good things that happen. S ... View more

As Julie said, You do have something to cry about, and crying releases stress, which in the end helps us cope with the vicissitudes of life. I nursed my mum through cancer, we were very close,and we shared an enormous amount of cuddles before she went. She is still here with me in my heart, helping me now as I helped her.Cherish and treasure the times good or bad that you have left, and most of all, show her your love. Big cyber hug S ... View more

Hello, There is no right way or wrong way to deal with this, there is YOUR way. Whatever you do that helps you cope with it all. People need different amounts of time for the enormity of it all to sink in. My son was in denial for 4 months, I think he now is starting to cope. It may be that you need some time to yourself to come to terms with it. Be gentle on yourself and look after yourself so you can be there for your mum when she needs you. The Cancer Council might be able to help you with some couselling. I find some things people tell me become quite irritating even if they mean well, such as: you look so good, you are strong, fight it and you'll get better. I don't need to be told to fight it, I am not strong, and I certainly do not feel I look good, so when I hear that I just agree and change the subject. People don't know what to say becuase they can't know what we feel, so they are awkward around us. Hopefully you can find one friend/ relative you can talk to openly and who will offer their shoulder with no questions asked. I wish you all the best. S ... View more

To jlloyd79, This is so true, we are fortunate in that we can prepare ourselves and our loved ones for what is to come. Thank you for reminding us of this. S ... View more

Hi Cats, You must not blame yourself for your cancer, no one brings this onto themselves. We all think we are getting punished for our actions but if that were so then lots of criminals would get cancer as well. I have a friend who does Reiki for me, it did give me some peace of mind, but I cannot say whether it was the Reiki or just talking to her that helped. I do believe that the mind can do a LOT, and therefore you must forgive yourself for whatever you think you have done. Self loathing does not help healing so you really must let go of these feelings.If your friend does not charge you for the Reiki, give it a go with an open mind, it cannot hurt you. Just relax while she is doing it and let go of anger and guilt. All the best. S ... View more

Hi Jodds, It is ok to keep the tsunami in check for a while but make you you let it wash over you regularly or else it will wipe you out. I am lucky in that I have a friend who has strong shoulders and it is with her that I let the tsunami take over, the release is immense and helps carry on with the journey. I hope you have a friend with strong shoulders who can hold you when the feelings overwhelm you. Keep taking care of yourself and your dad. S ... View more

No it does not cause added stress, but as I said it does help see the road ahead more clearly. Once again thank you, and I hope your road is easing a bit for you. Be kind to yourself Sylvie ... View more