Hi Gizmo, Hope you found some info about the various drugs treatments on offer and came to a decision. These really are difficult choices to make, considering the stakes. Hope your post surgery journey is going well and whichever treatment plan you are on, you are coping with it. Stay strong! SamR (12yr survivor) ... View more

Hi Glenda, Have you joined the families and friends group? There is a link at the top, if not. Sounds like you and your brother have an additional degree of difficulty to cope with. Hope you have been able to find some support with the journey. The cancer nurses in hospital can usually assist with advice and additional support info. Take car and stay strong! Sam ... View more

Hi Glenys, I hope the counsellor is the right one for you. I can understand your feelings about the "saving your life" theme with early detection campaigns ( they are aimed at people who haven't had cancer), because whilst it is true that it can save your physical existence, the turmoil it creates in life in general and the emotional reaction, can often feel like you are drowning in an overwhelming flood tide of changes. For me it felt like a twister experience, whereby my life was suddenly and dramatically changed forever, yet my friends and extended families lives changed very little. It can feel very lonely when close family cannot understand how much you are grieving for the changes. Perhaps your husband is trying to tell you, that it does not change his feelings for you? I found as the years went by the sadness lessened, as the struggle to maintain the semblance of recovery and normality took hold, "I was in the trenches", I had other family problems to cope with, so my personal grief had to take a back seat. It takes a long time to realise that life after cancer is a different life, it is NOT a return to the life you knew before .. And that takes a LOT of ADJUSTMENT and the GRACE of ACCEPTANCE, to let go of the "old you" and everything you felt you knew about you and accept the "new you". It is a little like becoming an amputee in many ways, whether visible or not, many of us have lost something we felt we had a right to keep. For me, 11 years ago there were very few avenues for counselling after treatment it seemed, at least I don't recall any being offered and the few people I spoke with, seemed to have little of use to add. Now I think the medical profession are starting to realise that "saving your life" means more than merely "keeping you breathing". Take it one day at a time and one day it truly will feel like it is in the past and the changes will be part of your life experience, which has made you stronger and more resilient. Take care! ... View more

Hi Nat, I hope you have been able to get some explanations from your GP, while you wait to see the Gyno again. It is difficult to stay positive whilst waiting for results, but it is better for the specialists to be certain about potential problems, rather than jumping to conclusions. I'm sure if the blood tests show any problems, then your gyno appt will be brought forward. I was 36yrs when diagnosed with early stage endometrial cancer, over 11yrs ago ... it is very scariest time, waiting to know if there is anything to be really be concerned about ... I wish you a good outcome from your test results ... Sam ... View more

Hi Heidi, The gynae cancer group is a good group to discuss things, Katherine works for Cancer Council, so would be a good person to talk with, we are a friendly group. Will send a message to Katherine, with your user name, so that she can perhaps make contact with you. I was in my mid 30's when diagnosed with cancer... 11 yrs on, I can vividly remember the emotions. It must be doubly difficult to cope with, given you are also pregnant. Try to stay positive (difficult to do in the early days, I know!). Wishing you all the luck in the world for a successful treatment plan. Sam ... View more

Hi missbrookie and Virginia, Take it one day at a time and be gentle with yourself, there is no "one size fits all" way of grieving. As KJ said, if it gets too much then talk with your GP, but an important thing to remember is that our loved ones who have passed would not want us to stop living and be miserable, they would want us to be happy and embracing life, in memory of them, especially parents, we are their legacy. I lost my Father from cancer treatment when I was 4 & 1/2 yrs and Dad was 50 yrs, so many times I have longed to be able to share things with him, but I know Dad would be watching on and seeing my journey. So when I'm having a bad day, I think well I'd better get through it, coz this life is a gift to me, from Dad. You were blessed to have a good relationship with your Mum, as I do, so many don't - so cherish the memories and the good times you had ... And one day with time the pain will lessen ... Take care.... Sam ... View more

Hi cmclc, So sorry for your loss, it is very early days yet and the grieving process takes a long time, especially when you lose someone you love so much. My Mum lost the love of her life, my Father nearly 43yrs ago now, my Dad was just 50yrs old and they were coming up to their silver wedding anniversary. It devastated my Mum, but somehow she took it one day at a time and the years passed. I know though, the love they shared, lives on in my Mum's heart and I know she longs to be reunited with Dad, which I am sure will happen when it is time. Be gentle with yourself, let the tears flow, but remember the promise you made to your husband. I like to think my Dad is there somewhere watching over my family and hope this poem brings some comfort: Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there; I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sun on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die. Author: Mary Elizabeth Frye - 1932 Take care and allow yourself to grieve, without expectations to be strong or brave, but simply get through each day and one morning you will hear the birdsong again and see beauty in flowers and sunsets. Sam ... View more

Hi Sally, So sorry for the journey your Mum, family & you are embarking on. I personally survived early stage cancer 10yrs ago, but am now waiting on results of tests this week for my Mum, who it seems may have kidney cancer, how far advanced, or if it is actually cancer is yet to be determined. I am a little in shock to be honest, as 7 wks ago Mum was enjoying a holiday overseas, so I can empathise with your feelings. I think in the early days of diagnosis, whatever stage, the reaction to the news, can be exhausting in itself. The world gets turned upside down. I think the key for your father, you and family is to remember, to take care of yourselves too, eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, that way you can really support your Mum emotionally. Once you know the extent & prognosis, then you can begin the journey either to recovery or palliative care, to make your time together, special and meaningful. I don't think there is an easy way to come to terms with the grief associated with an advanced diagnosis, but perhaps it is important to remember each journey with this disease is unique and miracles can happen. At the end of the day though, quality time is important, I think. Go well and stay strong. Sam ... View more

Hi, I agree with Silly, many of us on this site would have similar experiences, where we really feel family & close friends have failed us. Personally I think it is the reality of thinking someone they know may die "before their time", which then brings their own mortality into focus... it's too much for some to cope with, as they are trapped into "living their life to the fullest, for material gain only". It hurts and the hurt goes very deep, but nearly 10 yrs on, I just feel sorry for those who want to live their lives so superficially. My siblings have left the primary care of our ageing Mother to me, despite me having cancer 10yrs ago, and struggling health-wise for years after treatment. I realise my siblings have no comprehension of life during/after cancer, the permanent changes, struggles and hurdles. I just accept the hurt now, and move on... thanking God, I'm not so self absorbed! Focus on your husband, kids & yourself as a family unit, accept help where it's offered and don't be afraid to ask people for help. Sometimes people just don't know how to help. Perhaps develop a roster and email it to close family & friends, asking if any can help. Simple things like collecting the kids from school, taking them to sports or even a weekly shop, can just take some pressure off, the super-hero, you've suddenly been asked to become. If they say no, then just accept it and move on. ... View more