feeling pain too, don't know if I ever put an update, but my darling dad who was suffering so much, but was fighting so hard to make Christmas... was killed in a car collision 2 weeks before Christmas... I am so lost without him, everyone seems to think I should be over it, I'm not, I get angry, sad, hysterical, just empty then the pain of it all, the panic attacks... Even though our situations are different they are the same I guess, grief... why why why???? ... View more

REading this with tears streaming down my face, I feel for you and I understand the pain and frustration as I am going through something very similar. My dad has oropharyngeal cancer that started in his tonsil and is now in his tongue, jaw and who knows where else it has spread. My daddy is 68 and again too young. I am very much a daddy's girl, always have been always will be. My dad is going down hill very rapidly and seeing him in so much pain is horrible, no words can describe it. Spend time with your dad, tell him you love him. It is hard being strong, and I'm sure like me you have you times (every second day) where you fall in a heap. Its a lonely time as I can't fully talk to anyone about how much I'm hurting or how devastated and scared I am, not only for me, but my mum, my brother.... my mum doesn't drive and has been so relient on my dad, not only to get around but for everything.... Please make the most of your time as I will be and if you do need to talk, message me and I'm happy to give you my number. I don't know what I'd say except that I really do understand.... Hugs and love to you and your family. Roni ... View more

My heart goes out to you, and my condolences to you and your family.... He will always be with you.... ... View more

It is a horrible disease, but when things are where they are for you it is so very very important to look after yourself. It's not selfish, it is human nature to survive, and you must do that. I won't judge you, far from it, I understand how difficult it is and sometimes the thoughts that come into your head are difficult to comprehend, but don't punish yourself... If you need to get anything off your chest you can call me on .... Thinking of you. ... View more

Anger is something that I understand and agree with, the unfairness of it all... I guess your hubby didn't want to have a go at the clinical trial? If you need to talk please message me and I'll pass my mobile number on. I can't make the pain go away or be any less but sometimes just having someone to vent the anger and frustration to help.. Roni ... View more

So sorry to hear about your hubby and yourself and the battles you are going through. My dad was given a terminal diagnosis earlier this year and he has been fighting so hard, but lately he seems to have lost his will, in particular it is after palliative chemo. Usually after about 3 days he perks up a little, I hope that your husband will do the same. Do you have access to palliative care, we are in regional vic and the palliative care team are wonderful and help immensely. Might be worth contacting the local hospital to find out, they come out to the house and organise medications, pain killers etc... Dad is on endone as well, but it does not help his pain so he is on endone now, which he takes as it has a fast effect and then oxycodone in various doses which he takes and they actually take the edge off the pain somewhat overnight so he can get some sleep. If you need to talk, feel free to contact me. xo ... View more

Thank you. My dad was first diagnosed Feb last year... had radical surgery, then initially refused chemo & radio from fear.. then the cancer came back with a vengeance... He went through hell with radio & chemo, and we were told in Dec that the cancer was reduced to the point they could not see it and we all believed he was on the road to recovery... In March it was back, and there was nothing they could do... They gave him 12 months at most... so he's having palliative chemo, never thought I'd say it but his best days are when he is on his chemo...the cancer has stayed the same size, for now. But the pain he is in constantly is a battle and I wish that I could take that pain and make it my own...I would give anything to give him a pain free day..... xo ... View more