Hi little stitcher, I know exactly how you feel as I am feeling the same way. I look at life through different eyes and feel somewhat lost as everything is different now. I feel distant from my friends, through no fault of their own as how could someone possibly understand cancer if they have not experienced it. I know i had no idea. I feel like life has changed and my concerns are now so much different. A month a week or even a day is so valuable when watching someone you love being destroyed by this horrid disease. How do you explain the roller coaster of emotions that you feel.... I am so grateful for this site as it has helped me through some bad days. I don't know how you get back to simple everyday things when you experience so much .... ... View more

Thank you Ash for your support xx Please tell me how you are. I hope you are doing well and have the same support. Your advice is really helpful to me at this time and I really appreciate it. ... View more

Hi Ash... Thank you for your response. My dad has since moved into palliative care as the hospital were no longer able to help him with his pain. He has since had his morphine increased and has had a few days without any pain. Today was a bad day though, he has a blood clot and since his platelets are so low he has had some bleeding from the nose and has coughed up some blood. We're hoping this is from the blood thinners but were not sure as yet. His morale is at an all time low and I think he's just had enough .... Not sure what to do or say .... It's so hard .... I hope your doing well and thank you for taking the time to help me once again xx ... View more

Hi Ash, thank you and I really feel for you. Up until now i have had no idea how painful and destructive cancer is. Maybe brave isn't the right word but I think you are brave and courageous everyday trying to beat this and it shows how much we take for granted every day. I don't have the words any more because its such a personal battle and I don't want to offend anyone. I do ask my dad what he wants as he is still mobile but weak and his mind is still here. He just does not want to be in pain and says he will go anywhere to stop the pain. Without the pain he would be at home with his family but I think he has started to feel like a burden to us which is very painful to me. You are right that the drugs destroy your brain because he feels like he is going crazy but then the alternative is unbearable pain. I cannot believe that this is the only option for pain. He has agreed to go to pall care and we hope that he will be home shortly. He had radiation last week and it seems to just now be starting to ease the pain and he is now on liquid morphine which seems to be working. They are thinking he is making the pain worse psychologically as he becomes very distressed at the onset of any further pain ..... And that's another reason the drs want him in pall care so he doesn't become distressed at home. I wish you all that you need and thank you for helping me 🙂 ... View more

Thanks Julie 🙂 ... View more

I agree with you Julie, its not something that should be asked and its quite confronting for someone to answer. My dad has advanced cancer and when I get that question I just say we don't know how long he will be here for, only God knows the answer to that! ... View more

I'm so sorry Wallyo. I can understand your mum wishing to stop chemo. I'm at that stage where I don't know if chemo is the best thing for my dad. He wants to do whatever he can to stay with us for longer but then he doesn't want to be in pain. The chemo is slowing down the lung cancer but the bone mets continue to grow. He has 8 mets and the lower back, hip is the one causing so much pain. We found radiation worked in the beginning but its not working now and the morphine isn't doing so well either. He is also starting to get moody but its understandable considering what they are going through. It is definitely hard to see your parents go through this and no one prepares you for it. It's also hard not knowing what's going to happen or how long they will be here for. Somedays you feel so alone even though your friends are their for you. It's such a destructive disease. I try to talk about normal everyday things with my dad so were not talking about cancer all the time and how he is doing. Try and keep your mum positive and do as much as you can while she's still mobile. My dad is in bed most days and you begin to miss the little things that they could do. Also as the pain meds increase you miss being able to talk to them as they just get drowsy and confused. It's really hard and like you I just don't know what to expect. ... View more

Hi Sal, first of all I am so sorry that your mum is going through this. My dad was diagnosed with advanced NSCLC in Dec, and it has been an enormous roller coaster ride. Like yourself I want to know what will happen as the disease progresses and I have found it very hard to get definite answers from the professionals. It's like they don't want to tell you how bad things will get. My dad is suffering at the moment, the cancer has spread to his bones and the pain medication is either not working or he is 'as high as a kite'. He was halfway through his chemo when the pain became unbearable and he has been in hospital for the last two weeks. I'm at a loss as what to do and how to cope and if we're doing the right thing. I find it hard to talk to people who aren't going through it as its such a difficult reality to understand. There are so many things you cannot explain. I'm new to this site and find the experience of others very helpful. I wish you strength and love at this time and enjoy every precious moment you have with your mum. ... View more